jeans and the public gaze

[abigailstein]

So, I am not really a "jeans" person. I typically tend towards long skirts and fairly high cut shirts (lots of turtlenecks!), although I am okay with tight sweaters/shirts. I like my privacy from the public gaze

Comments

[nerdcodegeode]

I can see how walking that line would be a difficulty.

As a person who happens to both be a guy and think women are sexy, I typically attempt to both enjoy what I see and avoid creating an uncomfortableness for whomever presents what I find visually interesting. What I've perceived of my social interactions leads me to think this works out.

I don't think it's respectful for a person to dress in a way that accentuates zer more prominent features and then demand that no one enjoy what ze see. My sight is mine, and whoever it is is putting themselves where ze can be seen by people/me. But, with the same magnitude and relevance, I think people need to be and feel safe to dress in a way they choose. No attire should ever be "asking for it".

As far as nice guys getting distracted..I'd like to say they should just be able to sort it out for themselves, but I'm not completely certain they will. I've come to the decision that I should not be nor act like I'm ashamed of my enjoyment of the female figure, only temper and change my outward reactions, to avoid causing discomfort and to show more respect. Until a guy comes to that decision, I think his alternatives will all look (and/or be) bad (or, at least, less fun.)

[jpfed]

My sight is mine

I wish I could entirely agree. However, staring is an exception to this rule, because it is necessarily interpersonal.

Why should I say that staring is different? It might seem arbitrary of me, on a purely intellectual level. But the norm against staring exists in many, many cultures (including those of many other primate species). Look where you will, but it should be moderated, because humans have a response (that is likely biological in basis) to being stared at.

[nerdcodegeode]

Yeah, I've considered that. I probably should have clarified that enjoying what you see and staring aren't the same. Staring would go out the window as it becomes clear that it makes people uncomfortable. It, too, is an outward reaction. The point I meant to make with "my sight is mine" is that we're all beings with senses, and should be allowed to use them to perceive (and enjoy) our environments..Not that leaving our senses tuned to one person is necessarily respectful.