jeans and the public gaze
So, I am not really a "jeans" person. I typically tend towards long skirts and fairly high cut shirts (lots of turtlenecks!), although I am okay with tight sweaters/shirts. I like my privacy from the public gaze
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From the incident when you were 21 though...I would have taken his license number and called the police. That is completely inappropriate. I think that incident, compounded with all of the other inappropriate comments have made you extremely uncomfortable in certain clothes.
I honestly think that you shouldn't *have* to wear any type of clothes - either for your personal comfort or to avoid any sort of discomfort. I also think we've moved away largely from a society where we are respectful to eachother and as an attractive woman, you are going to receive attention.
With time, you may find yourself more comfortable in jeans if that is something that you wish to pursue. Is it possible that you are paying more attention to the behaviors of the people around you becuase you are uncomfortable in those clothes?
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Re: the flasher incident...the sad part is that a police car with 2 cops in it happened to pass by while he was still standing there with his pants down in front. I ran into the street after them waving my arms and yelling for help...and the cops looked at me...and just kept driving by
:-(
The guy freaked out, jumped into his car and sped off. When I worked up the courage I went running in that area looking for the car to get the license number.
The fall after my flasher incident, there was another Yale student stabbed to death near that area--and it's a very nice residential area. She was linked with a red hatchback--similar to the one Flasher Guy tried to run me down with. I called the New Haven Police to remind them of this incident and give a description of the guy (afterall I had detailed info like his build, eye color, that he was left handed with a distinctive tattoo on his forearm)..but it wasn't useful b/c there was never an arrest made in the case. Now, whose fault was that?!
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The police really sucked that up. Didn't they? It makes me so angry that they did so little.
I can not blame you for the way the feel. If you associate clothes that accentuate certain parts of your bringing on an incident that is clearly a sexual violation (if not sexual violence then) I can only imagine that the clothes themselves because a very stressful reminder.
That is an awful thing to have happen. I am so sorry you had to experience that.
A guess the optomistic side would be that not all people are that rude/disrespectful/crazy. I think you are right to be cautious at first though. I guess my recommendation - start wearing jeans + longer shirts so that the shirt covers the back of the jeans while still getting you used to wearing jeans. Or wear jeans while you are with Mr. Man so he can be holding your hand and helping to take your mind off the situation while screaming "she's not single" to the entire population. Maybe those two things will help you get used to the feeling of your body in jeans and help to divert gazes.
:( Good luck sweetie.
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Thanks for the reply. I am starting to get more used to my jeans now that I've had them for a week and have worn them camping for two days.
You're also right about feeling better about wearing them when I am with Mr. Man :-)
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