swallow me and spit me out.....

[abigail023]

so i moved home today, but just till saturday when i can move into my new place. i realized today that i have trust issues. i dont know where they came from, maybe its from all the lies i was told through out my life. maybe its because of the men in my life. like my dad, he cheated on my mom. and a lot of other events have happened in the past years to make me double think things. and now...now i really dont trust any males and sometimes i dont even trust myself. this is part of the reason why i moved home for a little bit. pat and i got into a fight about...you know what, we wont even say about what. all i will say is that its really stupid. now we are on a "break"! but i really dont believe in breaks, i dont think there is any point to them. i know its hard to live with someone, you just want to get away. but lying and getting angry is not the answer. and..i realized that the hard way. im pretty upset..with him...and myself. its tearing me apart inside and i hope he figures everything out soon. cuz i dont know how long i can do this for. and its not because i cant move on, its just that i want to know the truth, i want to know what to do....

alright thats enough for me..i think i should try to sleep
abby

ps...love you :'(