Not Flora or Merryweather | Harry/Louis |
Quick story I wrote wherein Harry and Louis decide to adopt a kitten, but Harry is mum on details. Louis is displeased with the result.
*
Harry and Louis had discussed getting a pet for quite some time now. They’d decided on a cat since Harry missed Dusty terribly and they both agreed that it would not be fair to get a puppy, which required so much training and attention, when they did not actually have a ton of free time to set aside for the puppy. (Plus Harry thinks it’d be easier to have a cat on the tour bus)
Beyond deciding he’d like to hear the little pitter patter of kitty feet, Louis didn’t care too much about what they ended up getting. He’d let harry take over on that since he was so excited about the new addition to their family. Harry doesn’t plan on telling Louis just what kind of cat he wants because he KNOWS his boyfriend will put his foot down.
What Louis doesn’t know, in this case, won’t hurt him.
*
The day Harry goes to pick up the kitten, Louis opts to stay behind at the house and get it ready for its arrival. He’s humming softly to himself in the kitchen when he hears the door open and close.
“Lou?” He hears Harry call.
“Kitchen, babe.” Louis calls back.
“I’m letting her loose okay?”
“Ooh!” Louis squeals, lowering the heat under the teapot.
He scurries out into the living room in time to see a shriveled prune of an animal run towards him. He gives a (very manly) shriek and stops in his tracks.
“What is that thing?!” he cries.
“It’s a sphynx cat!” Harry says with a big smile “Isn’t she just darling?”
The…cat… Harry has brought home is small and shriveled and completely bald. She is also currently pawing at Louis’ ankles and meowing loudly.
“Aw look! She likes you!”
“Harry.” Louis says “Why did you adopt a prune?”
Harry’s face falls.
“She needed a home.”
Said prune is now trying climb Louis’ leg, still meowing loudly. As much as Louis wants to kick her off he knows it would break Harry’s heart. So he leans over and pulls her off, placing her on the ground. He looks up at Harry and sighs, defeated.
“What’s her name?”
Harry smiles wide.
“I’ve decided to call her Fauna.”
*
If Louis were to objectively look at Fauna, he’d say she were a pretty little thing. She’s got comically large ears, big blue eyes, and blotches of black all over her little body. Her face has white fuzz all over it, with a blaze of black fuzz straight down the middle of her face.
Louis can’t do that though. He can’t help but be freaked out by the kitten. He does feel bad for this, of course. Harry is in love with her. He gives her weekly baths, cleans her ears, makes sure she has her favorite sweater on when she’s cold, and only feeds her the best food available.
Louis does his best to contribute, he really does. There’s just something about Fauna that unnerves him. Much to his dismay, she’s enamored by him. Fauna loves Harry to bits of course, but she doesn’t make beds out if his favorite jumpers and make at least one attempt daily to climb his pant leg.
(And of course there was the time she slunk into the shower with Louis, causing him to let out a screech like Harry has never heard in his life. Louis had run naked and soaking wet into their bedroom panting “Get. Her. Out.” As Fauna slunk in after him, wet and mewing sadly up at Louis. Harry had laughed so hard he cried. It’s now his favorite story to tell in interviews.)
*
Louis usually wakes to Fauna standing on his chest with her otherworldly blue eyes. She always mews at him softly, rubs her face happily against his stubble, and noses into his ear until he gets up.
“Okay okay I’m up you demon.”
“Duncallherthat.” Harry grunts next to him, still half asleep.
“She is a demon.” Louis grumbles “She made a bed out of my favorite hoodie yesterday!”
“S’not like she can get it furry.” Harry mumbles sleepily.
“It’s the principal of it all.” Louis says “She makes beds out of my clothes. MY clothes. Never yours, and then gives me sad cow eyes when I try to pick them up!”
“She loves you.” Harry mumbles, rolling over to cuddle into Louis “She’d be crazy not to.”
Louis smiles softly at that.
“You’re a sweet talker.” Louis says.
On one side of him, Harry presses sloppy kisses to his neck, on the other, Fauna purrs into his ear, her velvety body curled into his side.
*
“I think you secretly love her.” Harry says one day, a knowing smile on his face.
“I think you’re on crack.” Louis scoffs as he pulls Fauna, currently climbing up his pant leg for the 3rd time in a row, off and places her on the ground.
“I see how you cuddle her when she gets into bed with us.” Harry says.
“Yeah well you must be missing the other 23 hours of the day I spend trying to keep her as far away from me as possible.” Louis says “case in point: right now.”
“Come on, Lou. Just admit that she’s not as bad as you thought.”
Harry does have a point. She’s not a creepy slinky little devil-kitty. She’s sweet and playful and very much like the dog Louis grew up with. Always cuddling, always wanting to be near her daddies. He’s still wary of her of course, but he finds himself warming up to her.
But he won’t tell Harry that just yet.
He manages to resist for another week or so before breaking one day after maybe one too many glasses of wine.
“Hazza.” He says, poking Harry’s shoulder.
“What, baby?” Harry asks from his spot next to Louis on the couch.
Louis smiles sweetly at Harry, and then looks to Fauna. He smiles as he watches her belly rise and fall as she dozes between the two of them.
“I have a confession.”
“Oh?” Harry turns to look at him.
“I love Fauna.”
Harry blinks and then smiles slowly. Louis doesn’t notice. Opting instead to continue talking.
“I love her velvety body and her silly meow that she does when she’s excited and I love when she gets in the shower with me and I love waking up with her and you.”
“Is that so?” Harry asks.
“Mhm.” Louis says with a nod, smiling big.
There’s a pregnant pause between the two of them. The tv goes softly in the background, Fauna snores, and Louis finally giggles and says
“Also m’drunk.”
“I figured that, baby.” Harry said with a soft smile.
Louis presses a sloppy kiss to Harry’s cheek, and one to Fauna’s head, and then cuddles into Harry.
*
After Louis’ confession, something snaps in his brain. He welcomes Fauna into the shower, smiling wide and greeting her happily, and even in one instance telling Harry there was no room for him as he and Fauna were having a daddy-daughter shower. (Harry was quite put out by that but Louis gave him the blow-job of a life time afterwards so he wasn’t too sour over the whole thing)
It becomes commonplace for Louis to walk around with Fauna around his neck like a warm velvety scarf as well. He takes endless pictures with her and Harry, posting them all proudly on his instagram. Fans send them toys and sweaters in droves, but Louis favorite will always be the sweater a fan made with a huge Gucci logo on it.
“She the fanciest kitten on the block.” Louis proclaims proudly as he shows her off to the boys. Fauna meows proudly and nuzzles Louis happily.
“She is.” Zayn says “She’s got nicer jumpers than we do!”
“The fans send her all sorts of lovely things.” Louis says with a smile “Her favorites are of course her Gucci jumper, her pink hoodie, and her purple teddy bear.”
“Is that so?” Niall asks. He shoots the other boys a smile and rolls his eyes a little as Louis flames on about how cute Fauna is when she cuddles her bear.
“We’ve set up a load of toys for her in the spare bedroom that way she doesn’t get upset when we sexile her.”
“You sexile her?” Liam asks incredulously.
“Have you ever had sex with two blue eyes just peering at you over the edge of the bed?” Harry asks.
“It’s very disconcerting.” Louis adds. “So we sexile her.”
The first time Harry and Louis had to banish her from the room so they could have sex, Harry had felt terrible. She scratched at the door and meowed sadly until Harry came and let her out. Even Louis had felt bad about it. (In the ‘days before he’d seen the light’ as he put it). In order to make the whole process less painful for her, the spare bedroom became her play room of sorts. They set up a climbing tower, a scratching post, threw toys all about, and of course had her littler, water, and food.
Suffice to say Fauna does not mind being sexiled anymore.
*
Harry, Louis and Fauna become a family as far as Louis is concerned. Louis is Daddy, Harry is Papa, and Fauna is baby girl. They give her baths together, take her out on her leash in their back garden, and even take her on tour with them. Every time Louis looks at her he can’t even imagine not loving her as much as he does now. The other boys love her as well. Zayn broods and takes selfies with her, Niall lets her play with the strings of his guitar as he strums away at them, and Liam cuddles her close when he gets emotional over Disney films.
She’ll always favor her daddies though. When they go off on errands or leave her with one of the other boys for a private hotel night she noticeably droops but that always changes when Louis comes through the door with a huge smile on his face and a new sweater for her to wear. Harry is usually close behind with her food and water and really there’s no other way Harry and Louis would have it. Their best friends, their music, and their baby girl.
*
Authors note: The name Fauna comes from Roman mythology. Here is a picture of the little darling. (Psst. Here have Fauna in her favorite hoodie.)
*
Harry and Louis had discussed getting a pet for quite some time now. They’d decided on a cat since Harry missed Dusty terribly and they both agreed that it would not be fair to get a puppy, which required so much training and attention, when they did not actually have a ton of free time to set aside for the puppy. (Plus Harry thinks it’d be easier to have a cat on the tour bus)
Beyond deciding he’d like to hear the little pitter patter of kitty feet, Louis didn’t care too much about what they ended up getting. He’d let harry take over on that since he was so excited about the new addition to their family. Harry doesn’t plan on telling Louis just what kind of cat he wants because he KNOWS his boyfriend will put his foot down.
What Louis doesn’t know, in this case, won’t hurt him.
*
The day Harry goes to pick up the kitten, Louis opts to stay behind at the house and get it ready for its arrival. He’s humming softly to himself in the kitchen when he hears the door open and close.
“Lou?” He hears Harry call.
“Kitchen, babe.” Louis calls back.
“I’m letting her loose okay?”
“Ooh!” Louis squeals, lowering the heat under the teapot.
He scurries out into the living room in time to see a shriveled prune of an animal run towards him. He gives a (very manly) shriek and stops in his tracks.
“What is that thing?!” he cries.
“It’s a sphynx cat!” Harry says with a big smile “Isn’t she just darling?”
The…cat… Harry has brought home is small and shriveled and completely bald. She is also currently pawing at Louis’ ankles and meowing loudly.
“Aw look! She likes you!”
“Harry.” Louis says “Why did you adopt a prune?”
Harry’s face falls.
“She needed a home.”
Said prune is now trying climb Louis’ leg, still meowing loudly. As much as Louis wants to kick her off he knows it would break Harry’s heart. So he leans over and pulls her off, placing her on the ground. He looks up at Harry and sighs, defeated.
“What’s her name?”
Harry smiles wide.
“I’ve decided to call her Fauna.”
*
If Louis were to objectively look at Fauna, he’d say she were a pretty little thing. She’s got comically large ears, big blue eyes, and blotches of black all over her little body. Her face has white fuzz all over it, with a blaze of black fuzz straight down the middle of her face.
Louis can’t do that though. He can’t help but be freaked out by the kitten. He does feel bad for this, of course. Harry is in love with her. He gives her weekly baths, cleans her ears, makes sure she has her favorite sweater on when she’s cold, and only feeds her the best food available.
Louis does his best to contribute, he really does. There’s just something about Fauna that unnerves him. Much to his dismay, she’s enamored by him. Fauna loves Harry to bits of course, but she doesn’t make beds out if his favorite jumpers and make at least one attempt daily to climb his pant leg.
(And of course there was the time she slunk into the shower with Louis, causing him to let out a screech like Harry has never heard in his life. Louis had run naked and soaking wet into their bedroom panting “Get. Her. Out.” As Fauna slunk in after him, wet and mewing sadly up at Louis. Harry had laughed so hard he cried. It’s now his favorite story to tell in interviews.)
*
Louis usually wakes to Fauna standing on his chest with her otherworldly blue eyes. She always mews at him softly, rubs her face happily against his stubble, and noses into his ear until he gets up.
“Okay okay I’m up you demon.”
“Duncallherthat.” Harry grunts next to him, still half asleep.
“She is a demon.” Louis grumbles “She made a bed out of my favorite hoodie yesterday!”
“S’not like she can get it furry.” Harry mumbles sleepily.
“It’s the principal of it all.” Louis says “She makes beds out of my clothes. MY clothes. Never yours, and then gives me sad cow eyes when I try to pick them up!”
“She loves you.” Harry mumbles, rolling over to cuddle into Louis “She’d be crazy not to.”
Louis smiles softly at that.
“You’re a sweet talker.” Louis says.
On one side of him, Harry presses sloppy kisses to his neck, on the other, Fauna purrs into his ear, her velvety body curled into his side.
*
“I think you secretly love her.” Harry says one day, a knowing smile on his face.
“I think you’re on crack.” Louis scoffs as he pulls Fauna, currently climbing up his pant leg for the 3rd time in a row, off and places her on the ground.
“I see how you cuddle her when she gets into bed with us.” Harry says.
“Yeah well you must be missing the other 23 hours of the day I spend trying to keep her as far away from me as possible.” Louis says “case in point: right now.”
“Come on, Lou. Just admit that she’s not as bad as you thought.”
Harry does have a point. She’s not a creepy slinky little devil-kitty. She’s sweet and playful and very much like the dog Louis grew up with. Always cuddling, always wanting to be near her daddies. He’s still wary of her of course, but he finds himself warming up to her.
But he won’t tell Harry that just yet.
He manages to resist for another week or so before breaking one day after maybe one too many glasses of wine.
“Hazza.” He says, poking Harry’s shoulder.
“What, baby?” Harry asks from his spot next to Louis on the couch.
Louis smiles sweetly at Harry, and then looks to Fauna. He smiles as he watches her belly rise and fall as she dozes between the two of them.
“I have a confession.”
“Oh?” Harry turns to look at him.
“I love Fauna.”
Harry blinks and then smiles slowly. Louis doesn’t notice. Opting instead to continue talking.
“I love her velvety body and her silly meow that she does when she’s excited and I love when she gets in the shower with me and I love waking up with her and you.”
“Is that so?” Harry asks.
“Mhm.” Louis says with a nod, smiling big.
There’s a pregnant pause between the two of them. The tv goes softly in the background, Fauna snores, and Louis finally giggles and says
“Also m’drunk.”
“I figured that, baby.” Harry said with a soft smile.
Louis presses a sloppy kiss to Harry’s cheek, and one to Fauna’s head, and then cuddles into Harry.
*
After Louis’ confession, something snaps in his brain. He welcomes Fauna into the shower, smiling wide and greeting her happily, and even in one instance telling Harry there was no room for him as he and Fauna were having a daddy-daughter shower. (Harry was quite put out by that but Louis gave him the blow-job of a life time afterwards so he wasn’t too sour over the whole thing)
It becomes commonplace for Louis to walk around with Fauna around his neck like a warm velvety scarf as well. He takes endless pictures with her and Harry, posting them all proudly on his instagram. Fans send them toys and sweaters in droves, but Louis favorite will always be the sweater a fan made with a huge Gucci logo on it.
“She the fanciest kitten on the block.” Louis proclaims proudly as he shows her off to the boys. Fauna meows proudly and nuzzles Louis happily.
“She is.” Zayn says “She’s got nicer jumpers than we do!”
“The fans send her all sorts of lovely things.” Louis says with a smile “Her favorites are of course her Gucci jumper, her pink hoodie, and her purple teddy bear.”
“Is that so?” Niall asks. He shoots the other boys a smile and rolls his eyes a little as Louis flames on about how cute Fauna is when she cuddles her bear.
“We’ve set up a load of toys for her in the spare bedroom that way she doesn’t get upset when we sexile her.”
“You sexile her?” Liam asks incredulously.
“Have you ever had sex with two blue eyes just peering at you over the edge of the bed?” Harry asks.
“It’s very disconcerting.” Louis adds. “So we sexile her.”
The first time Harry and Louis had to banish her from the room so they could have sex, Harry had felt terrible. She scratched at the door and meowed sadly until Harry came and let her out. Even Louis had felt bad about it. (In the ‘days before he’d seen the light’ as he put it). In order to make the whole process less painful for her, the spare bedroom became her play room of sorts. They set up a climbing tower, a scratching post, threw toys all about, and of course had her littler, water, and food.
Suffice to say Fauna does not mind being sexiled anymore.
*
Harry, Louis and Fauna become a family as far as Louis is concerned. Louis is Daddy, Harry is Papa, and Fauna is baby girl. They give her baths together, take her out on her leash in their back garden, and even take her on tour with them. Every time Louis looks at her he can’t even imagine not loving her as much as he does now. The other boys love her as well. Zayn broods and takes selfies with her, Niall lets her play with the strings of his guitar as he strums away at them, and Liam cuddles her close when he gets emotional over Disney films.
She’ll always favor her daddies though. When they go off on errands or leave her with one of the other boys for a private hotel night she noticeably droops but that always changes when Louis comes through the door with a huge smile on his face and a new sweater for her to wear. Harry is usually close behind with her food and water and really there’s no other way Harry and Louis would have it. Their best friends, their music, and their baby girl.
*
Authors note: The name Fauna comes from Roman mythology. Here is a picture of the little darling. (Psst. Here have Fauna in her favorite hoodie.)
