Jan 04, 2023 19:16
That last post went a bit off the rails, I know. I've been working through some things. Pay no mind.
I always wanted to have a diary, a secret book filled with secrets. I tried once but never had much to write about. The book was eventually repurposed for monthly lists of my favourite songs and nonsensical scribblings. I had secrets, of course; plenty of them, but nothing worth writing about.
Now, prying open my mind to extract all the disappointing events from the nebulous cloud of successful childhood denial, it seems I had some juicy secrets after all. Secrets I didn't know about. And, it seems, finally writing them down is somehow cathartic, even if it is far too late for any of it to still matter.
So I guess this is it. Not a secret book, exactly, but a public journal obscured in the wash of internet noise. With maybe a hint of a possibility that one day, someone somewhere may stumble across this and recognize the signs in themselves or someone they care about and learn something from the remains of my past mistakes, even if I never did.