(no subject)
Last Night: B+
Today: D-
I decided the original entry didn't convey enough information.
Last night was the first Queer Student Union meeting of the year, with myself as one co-chair, and the wonderful Patty as the other. We had 30+ people there, mostly freshmen. Neither Patty nor myself were in QSU two semesters ago, so we weren't entirely clear on what is done, but we had enough time to plan everything and I think this semester will go well.
Today Laney graced me with a ride to school. My classes went well enough, and in my Asian Philosophy class there was a guy who caught my attention. I hate to say it, but I think I just realized: this leads toward diminished limerent focus toward others and coupled with bad tires, expensive gas, not feeling well, rush hour traffic, needing to read a book, and missing a party I canceled my plans to go down to Santa Rosa.
I would much rather point to that last list of reasons than the first one. Andrew called and we talked for a little while (and I guess before Andrew can hear about what's going on ten minutes away from him, the information must first travel to Massachusetts, through Humboldt, and then back down to him), and I had lunch. So, now I need to figure out exactly what's going on tonight and make sure I don't waste the weekend playing World of Warcraft.
I feel like a bad person. I feel like a bad person when I attribute my actions to limerence like that. It's a cause and effect confusion in my mind. I wanted to go down to Santa Rosa because I like playing Risk, but more importantly, I like being around Andrew. I feel better when I'm around Andrew (mornings excluded). So, I hate the notion that I wouldn't go through the trouble if... I hate the notion that I'd only go through the trouble if it's driven by limerence, because Andrew's friendship is important to me. But I guess it's better to move beyond that and see that I probably should drive down. I feel like a bad person.
To this I say: FUCK
Today: D-
I decided the original entry didn't convey enough information.
Last night was the first Queer Student Union meeting of the year, with myself as one co-chair, and the wonderful Patty as the other. We had 30+ people there, mostly freshmen. Neither Patty nor myself were in QSU two semesters ago, so we weren't entirely clear on what is done, but we had enough time to plan everything and I think this semester will go well.
Today Laney graced me with a ride to school. My classes went well enough, and in my Asian Philosophy class there was a guy who caught my attention. I hate to say it, but I think I just realized: this leads toward diminished limerent focus toward others and coupled with bad tires, expensive gas, not feeling well, rush hour traffic, needing to read a book, and missing a party I canceled my plans to go down to Santa Rosa.
I would much rather point to that last list of reasons than the first one. Andrew called and we talked for a little while (and I guess before Andrew can hear about what's going on ten minutes away from him, the information must first travel to Massachusetts, through Humboldt, and then back down to him), and I had lunch. So, now I need to figure out exactly what's going on tonight and make sure I don't waste the weekend playing World of Warcraft.
I feel like a bad person. I feel like a bad person when I attribute my actions to limerence like that. It's a cause and effect confusion in my mind. I wanted to go down to Santa Rosa because I like playing Risk, but more importantly, I like being around Andrew. I feel better when I'm around Andrew (mornings excluded). So, I hate the notion that I wouldn't go through the trouble if... I hate the notion that I'd only go through the trouble if it's driven by limerence, because Andrew's friendship is important to me. But I guess it's better to move beyond that and see that I probably should drive down. I feel like a bad person.
To this I say: FUCK