Two letters
Dear Kara,
I read the Edith Nesbit book you told me about. And I downloaded the Simpsons movie on the internet for you (it's on the CD attached). At first I thought maybe they'd let you take a break for one evening so we could watch it in the cinema, but then I had a reality check, since even if they did, you probably wouldn't want to watch it with me.
Anyway. I was thinking of the novel you started to write; and about that fantasy I told you about ages ago, about what would have happened if when they mindwiped me they would have inserted me in your family, and how we would have ended up running away to the circus together. (Before you told me you didn't like animals.) (Except for turtles.) (I asked Angel and Darla who takes care of your turtle and the frogs when they told me you'd go to S.H. and they to New York. This ended up in some yelling, but don't worry, we calmed down. I'd have volunteered but Darla said this was a really bad idea and so I asked Natalie instead. So, anyway. Turtle and associates acccounted and cared for.) I wish I could write a novel for you and rewrite your life with me not being such a bastard in it, or, well, not there at all.
Now you're saying: "Because that would make things easier for you." But it wouldn't. I try to imagine my life without you and there is this big empty blank that hurts just as the absence of my other family does, and I don't want a life without Kara in it. Not because I miss Mere. Because you're you. I'm still learning about you, Kara, and I don't think I'll ever really figure you out, but I promise I won't ever stop trying.
Yours (really)
Connor
Sahjahn -
considering people come back from the dead on a regular basis, I expect you to show up any time soon.
So. I'm not sorry I killed you. Not because Father and myself ending up in Quortoth for seventeen years; I got all the details now, I think, and that was Father's choice. And not because you forged a couple of prophecies, because if anyone has reason to hold that against you, it's Wesley. They turned out to come true anyway. Plus when I showed up to kill you, I was mindwiped, and for all I knew then you had been the nicest guy ever in the past; the only reason to kill you I had then was that this guy Veil was blackmailing me with my family.
Then of course you tried your best to kill me, and if my memories hadn't come back, you'd have succeeded, but hey. You wanted to live. I get that.
But you know, why I'm not sorry? You held me by the throat.
Just for the record: I really, really, REALLY hate it when people do that to me. And just one person has the right to. That's not you. So when you do come back from the dead and do the usual demon stick of trying to kill me again/send me into a hell dimension/ mess with my mind? Don't do that again, and you might survive this time.
Connor (Stephen)