So, why the journal?
In the last 6 months I have gone through many changes and lost touch with my support group.
I've gotten married, pregnant, lost my baby, quit my job, and bought a new house; moved 60 miles from family and friends.
Hopefully this next sentence won't come off the wrong way; but had to get used to staying home with my 3 yr old daughter, which has proven to be harder than I thought it was. I have gained a lot of respect for my mom in these few months. It's been rough trying to get used to my "new" life and the funny thing is - it's all I have dreamed about since giving birth to Rachael in '99.
I used to think I'd be one of those women who would try to do it all; career, marriage, family; the invincible woman, but I soon realized that where I wanted most to be was just HOME with my family. Now that I have met a man that wants the same things I am able to stay home with my baby girl and be the wife and mother I wanted to be.. I just thought that it would be easier.
I guess what has been easiest is getting up every morning to rush off to work. Only there I didn't have to deal with my "family". It's been sort of a shock to learn that it's not easy taking care of a family and I am slowly but surely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's rewarding at the end of the day to have Rachael crawl in my lap and tell me how much she love's me and how glad she is that we get to spend every day together, but I still have this anxiousness, like I should be doing more.. Or I feel guilty because Mike works two jobs while I am capable of working, before we got married I was looking into going back to school to complete the radiology program either Delgado or LSUE. Damn those liberal women!!
Life had to be easier when it was just expected that the wife would stay home. I am so torn.. so I guess some days I will just vent over this dilemma.. and others maybe just brag about my great family. Either way I hope to meet interesting people who might be able to shed light or make me feel like my problems are insignificant.
I've gotten married, pregnant, lost my baby, quit my job, and bought a new house; moved 60 miles from family and friends.
Hopefully this next sentence won't come off the wrong way; but had to get used to staying home with my 3 yr old daughter, which has proven to be harder than I thought it was. I have gained a lot of respect for my mom in these few months. It's been rough trying to get used to my "new" life and the funny thing is - it's all I have dreamed about since giving birth to Rachael in '99.
I used to think I'd be one of those women who would try to do it all; career, marriage, family; the invincible woman, but I soon realized that where I wanted most to be was just HOME with my family. Now that I have met a man that wants the same things I am able to stay home with my baby girl and be the wife and mother I wanted to be.. I just thought that it would be easier.
I guess what has been easiest is getting up every morning to rush off to work. Only there I didn't have to deal with my "family". It's been sort of a shock to learn that it's not easy taking care of a family and I am slowly but surely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's rewarding at the end of the day to have Rachael crawl in my lap and tell me how much she love's me and how glad she is that we get to spend every day together, but I still have this anxiousness, like I should be doing more.. Or I feel guilty because Mike works two jobs while I am capable of working, before we got married I was looking into going back to school to complete the radiology program either Delgado or LSUE. Damn those liberal women!!
Life had to be easier when it was just expected that the wife would stay home. I am so torn.. so I guess some days I will just vent over this dilemma.. and others maybe just brag about my great family. Either way I hope to meet interesting people who might be able to shed light or make me feel like my problems are insignificant.