(no subject)
epiphany.
the last thing i remember thinking was.. "wow. this feels somewhat okay." it felt exactly like a dream. very blurry and almost as if everything was in stop motion. precision cuts along the veins released blood faster than i had anticipated. the warm liquid was calming. almost soothing. by this point i was getting dizzy and the sound of the "secret stars" began to moan in and out. louder and softer. inebriation as a result of the loss of blood. drunk. not entirely what i had envisioned this to feel like. the reds kept getting brighter and the whites greener. it was like this ironic.. fucking sea-foam green that made my view of what was happening almost profound. and as i took my last glance in the mirror, i had this heart-wrenching flood of emotion. a point of self realization. a look back on the journey of this skinny man. or should i say boy? a look forward into the future. what would i be giving up? i could not definitely tell you. i surely didn't know what the future held. the events that drove me to this state of mind seemed so obscurely insignificant now. at this moment they seemed so painless. flashes of memory and events. faster than i could count, but none of them melancholy. not even so much as a recollection as to why my eyes were seeing what they were seeing now.. far to fucking ironic to say the least..
do you remember the first time you:
rode a roller coaster.
walked in a rainstorm.
swam in the pacific ocean.
saw a rainbow.
held a puppy.
successfully shoplifted.
went to a (good) rock show.
french kissed.
had sex.
got drunk.
fell in love.
smoked pot.
realized you're gonna die.
heard radiohead.
ate sushi.
cried.
cried in joy.
got in a fight.
laughed so hard your stomach hurt..
do you remember the last time you had an epiphany?
the last thing i remember thinking was.. "wow. this feels somewhat okay." it felt exactly like a dream. very blurry and almost as if everything was in stop motion. precision cuts along the veins released blood faster than i had anticipated. the warm liquid was calming. almost soothing. by this point i was getting dizzy and the sound of the "secret stars" began to moan in and out. louder and softer. inebriation as a result of the loss of blood. drunk. not entirely what i had envisioned this to feel like. the reds kept getting brighter and the whites greener. it was like this ironic.. fucking sea-foam green that made my view of what was happening almost profound. and as i took my last glance in the mirror, i had this heart-wrenching flood of emotion. a point of self realization. a look back on the journey of this skinny man. or should i say boy? a look forward into the future. what would i be giving up? i could not definitely tell you. i surely didn't know what the future held. the events that drove me to this state of mind seemed so obscurely insignificant now. at this moment they seemed so painless. flashes of memory and events. faster than i could count, but none of them melancholy. not even so much as a recollection as to why my eyes were seeing what they were seeing now.. far to fucking ironic to say the least..
do you remember the first time you:
rode a roller coaster.
walked in a rainstorm.
swam in the pacific ocean.
saw a rainbow.
held a puppy.
successfully shoplifted.
went to a (good) rock show.
french kissed.
had sex.
got drunk.
fell in love.
smoked pot.
realized you're gonna die.
heard radiohead.
ate sushi.
cried.
cried in joy.
got in a fight.
laughed so hard your stomach hurt..
do you remember the last time you had an epiphany?