just like a woman
Why, as a woman, is it so hard to find and make female friends and then keep them?
I used to make female friends soley to convince them to make out with me. Now that I'm past my predatory phase, I just want a girlfriend I can trust. A girl friend. And relate to. Who isn't into drugs because I'm getting out of them. Who likes to read. A lot. And doesn't only talk about boys. And isn't smitten with my exboyfriend who broke my heart. And isn't an alcoholic. And isn't Ann Louise or anything like her, except that I miss her so much sometimes that I want someone just like her without my attraction to her. Someone who won't walk all over me. And doesn't want to make out with me. Someone I'm not afraid to talk to about my past, who is my age, who is domestic, who is goal-driven and likes weird clothes and thrift shopping.
I meet so many wonderful ladies. They are all over Hattiesburg. But there is something that keeps me from bonding to any of them in friendship. The truth is, I'm afraid of them. I'm afraid they are smarter than me, cooler than me, and bored with me. But I'm through with fear anyway. I had a bad trip the other night and making it through that convinced me that I could make it through just about anything. There's nothing worse than a haunted psychadelic headspace. I want off that bandwagon. I'm done with drugs. I don't like the way my brain feels when I'm high.
I got a job downtown at the library. We got a house and then lost it. I'm going to heat up some curry, clean the fridge, bathe the dog, dye my hair, make a necklace. We're in the brainstorming phases for a new art party. Any thoughts?
I used to make female friends soley to convince them to make out with me. Now that I'm past my predatory phase, I just want a girlfriend I can trust. A girl friend. And relate to. Who isn't into drugs because I'm getting out of them. Who likes to read. A lot. And doesn't only talk about boys. And isn't smitten with my exboyfriend who broke my heart. And isn't an alcoholic. And isn't Ann Louise or anything like her, except that I miss her so much sometimes that I want someone just like her without my attraction to her. Someone who won't walk all over me. And doesn't want to make out with me. Someone I'm not afraid to talk to about my past, who is my age, who is domestic, who is goal-driven and likes weird clothes and thrift shopping.
I meet so many wonderful ladies. They are all over Hattiesburg. But there is something that keeps me from bonding to any of them in friendship. The truth is, I'm afraid of them. I'm afraid they are smarter than me, cooler than me, and bored with me. But I'm through with fear anyway. I had a bad trip the other night and making it through that convinced me that I could make it through just about anything. There's nothing worse than a haunted psychadelic headspace. I want off that bandwagon. I'm done with drugs. I don't like the way my brain feels when I'm high.
I got a job downtown at the library. We got a house and then lost it. I'm going to heat up some curry, clean the fridge, bathe the dog, dye my hair, make a necklace. We're in the brainstorming phases for a new art party. Any thoughts?