a recalculation of fear
once upon a time, i was venturing on one of my grandfather and i's several road trips. during the course of this particular road trip, we had decided that we would visit all of the major canyon areas, rock formations, and national parks in the four corner states area. i was, of course, very excited about this because of how much i enjoy the sport of free-climbing. obviously then, i was most enthused at the opportunity to scale the northern rim of the grand canyon because of its renown as an excellent spot for the activity. once we arrived at the rim, i almost immediately went hiking around the canyon to find an ideal point at which to launch my descent; which, surprisingly enough, i found with great ease and rapidity. once i had climbed about thirty feet down the canyon, i lost hold of my grapple stone and begun to plummet. luckily, after about five feet of complete free-fall, i was able to grab hold of formation that jutted out of the side of the canyon. after i had calmed down and ventured back up to the top of the canyon, i thought that surely i had just experienced the most frightening moment of my life for past, present and future;l but as i learned all to well on sunday morning, i was very wrong.
as you all probably know, on saturday night and early sunday morning there was a flurry of rain and snow. this consequently made the roads fairly hazardous to drive on until nearly early in the afternoon on sunday; but i unfortunately was due in to work at nine o' clock sunday morning. so i woke up extra early in anticipation of a long and cautious drive to work from my home in the bel air area to my work, barnes and noble, in towson. everything was going just fine until while i was driving at a cautious speed of around fifty miles per hour on highway 695 all hell broke loose. i was driving in the far left lane, and there was a minivan about three quarters of a car length in font of me keeping pace with my truck. all of a sudden, a little riced out honda civic came rolling up on us at what must have been at sixty to seventy miles per hour and cut right into my lane after nearly rear-ending the minivan next to me. unfortunately, the rear end of his civic was only about halfway up my front quarter panel when he changed into my lane, so i had to slam on my brakes to prevent him from side-swiping me. as i did this, i must have slid part of the way on to the shoulder where it was still icy because i immediately lost control of my vehicle.
as the civic sped away pleased as punch with himself, i tried my best to regain control of my truck to no avail. as i spun in complete circles across all four lanes of traffic while seeing a multitude of vehicles in all four lanes heading swiftly in my direction i realized the very real possibility that i would be the first car in a highway pileup. however, i was incredibly fortunate to narrowly miss the oncoming traffic as my truck ended up running tail first into the cement barrier on the opposite side of highway 695 of which began. once my tail end hit, my truck swung ninety degrees to the left; thus leaving me motionless facing the opposite direction of traffic.
luckily, my truck is a fucking beast and the damage done to it was minimal given the circumstances. my bumper, towing package and tailgate are thoroughly fucked, and the rear of my frame is twisted to shit. not to mention that it would appear as if my entire bed smacked against my cab because there is a small ding on the rear of the cab where it hit; but it is still drivable. i called it in to the insurance company, and they are having me take bertha in for her face lift at al packer ford (the dealership i purchased her from). but more to the point, looking retrospectively at the events that occurred, i have definitely decided two things: 1. free-falling in the grand canyon undeniably now ranks as the second most frightening thing that has ever happened to me because there is something innately terrifying about spinning in circles on a major highway as you see traffic quickly approaching you because then not only are you placed at risk, but the lives of several others are as well. 2. although i have long been outspoken and candid in my utter hatred of honda civics, my pusillanimous fervor is now warranted and acceptable. i now plan to destroy each and every red honda civic that i see. fuck those guys.
on a semi-humorous note, however, early after meeting my miserable end, i took a few minutes both to take measure of what had just happened and check to see the extent of the damage done, and then i went to work. furthermore, strangely enough both of my tail lights are still intact and full functional...god bless ford. a word to the wise, no matter what you may think about your own vehicle or ford trucks, you are woefully mistaken if you believe that ford trucks are anything other than utterly miraculous marvels of modern technology. minus my qualms with the gas mileage, i have nothing but good things to say about ford trucks (especially the ranger). i have learned through my own experiences that they are fucking awesome.
as you all probably know, on saturday night and early sunday morning there was a flurry of rain and snow. this consequently made the roads fairly hazardous to drive on until nearly early in the afternoon on sunday; but i unfortunately was due in to work at nine o' clock sunday morning. so i woke up extra early in anticipation of a long and cautious drive to work from my home in the bel air area to my work, barnes and noble, in towson. everything was going just fine until while i was driving at a cautious speed of around fifty miles per hour on highway 695 all hell broke loose. i was driving in the far left lane, and there was a minivan about three quarters of a car length in font of me keeping pace with my truck. all of a sudden, a little riced out honda civic came rolling up on us at what must have been at sixty to seventy miles per hour and cut right into my lane after nearly rear-ending the minivan next to me. unfortunately, the rear end of his civic was only about halfway up my front quarter panel when he changed into my lane, so i had to slam on my brakes to prevent him from side-swiping me. as i did this, i must have slid part of the way on to the shoulder where it was still icy because i immediately lost control of my vehicle.
as the civic sped away pleased as punch with himself, i tried my best to regain control of my truck to no avail. as i spun in complete circles across all four lanes of traffic while seeing a multitude of vehicles in all four lanes heading swiftly in my direction i realized the very real possibility that i would be the first car in a highway pileup. however, i was incredibly fortunate to narrowly miss the oncoming traffic as my truck ended up running tail first into the cement barrier on the opposite side of highway 695 of which began. once my tail end hit, my truck swung ninety degrees to the left; thus leaving me motionless facing the opposite direction of traffic.
luckily, my truck is a fucking beast and the damage done to it was minimal given the circumstances. my bumper, towing package and tailgate are thoroughly fucked, and the rear of my frame is twisted to shit. not to mention that it would appear as if my entire bed smacked against my cab because there is a small ding on the rear of the cab where it hit; but it is still drivable. i called it in to the insurance company, and they are having me take bertha in for her face lift at al packer ford (the dealership i purchased her from). but more to the point, looking retrospectively at the events that occurred, i have definitely decided two things: 1. free-falling in the grand canyon undeniably now ranks as the second most frightening thing that has ever happened to me because there is something innately terrifying about spinning in circles on a major highway as you see traffic quickly approaching you because then not only are you placed at risk, but the lives of several others are as well. 2. although i have long been outspoken and candid in my utter hatred of honda civics, my pusillanimous fervor is now warranted and acceptable. i now plan to destroy each and every red honda civic that i see. fuck those guys.
on a semi-humorous note, however, early after meeting my miserable end, i took a few minutes both to take measure of what had just happened and check to see the extent of the damage done, and then i went to work. furthermore, strangely enough both of my tail lights are still intact and full functional...god bless ford. a word to the wise, no matter what you may think about your own vehicle or ford trucks, you are woefully mistaken if you believe that ford trucks are anything other than utterly miraculous marvels of modern technology. minus my qualms with the gas mileage, i have nothing but good things to say about ford trucks (especially the ranger). i have learned through my own experiences that they are fucking awesome.