sleep deprived and thinking.
I thought pop show was lovely. Props to andrea, jonathan, and mikol. The ability to sing not-for-the-sake-of-making-fun is not a talent I possess. It's on the list after drawing people, knitting, dieting, learning foreign languages, keeping my room clean, and earning A's in science classes.
Prom talk is exciting, amusing, and aggravating. I am not bitter, jealous, or angry- there should be no reason for these emotions... honestly maybe a bit in the beginning (I am human after all). It took me a month, but I accepted the new situation.
Nonetheless all i can say is that life IS a damn learning process, but why do the lessons have to be so cruel?
It would have been nice to not lose my best friend and first true love to another, but I suppose life has something else in store for me and LIFE GOES ON.. well life old buddy, it better be f-ing AWESOME.
think about this, words of michael liu. only aquaintances, but he sure summed up how i felt during that cold month of december, very nicely:
"imagine learning to love someone for the first time..giving all you got..going thru so many changes to make urself worthy..growing up with that person..willing to die for them, cry for them, bleed for them..and in the end lose them and now watch other ppl tryiny to take them.. someone u experienced everything with for the first time..all going to some other lucky person..everything that u shared..all gone to them..everything we did,now is done with someone else..the things that u held most important within them, all given to someone else...and all u can do..is sit here and FEEL LIKE SHIT..and when u think bak..u think its all ur fault..that u made all the mistakes, the things u could of done to make things better..and the other person just enjoying their life without u, acting as if they did nothing wrong..and when they talk to u..its like they are rubbing it into u..and it eats u..to the point it takes u an hour to sleep..and when u dream..ur dreams bother and u wake up feeling like shit.."
so it's been nearly half a year. but my emotions are dictated by music and the weather.
Prom talk is exciting, amusing, and aggravating. I am not bitter, jealous, or angry- there should be no reason for these emotions... honestly maybe a bit in the beginning (I am human after all). It took me a month, but I accepted the new situation.
Nonetheless all i can say is that life IS a damn learning process, but why do the lessons have to be so cruel?
It would have been nice to not lose my best friend and first true love to another, but I suppose life has something else in store for me and LIFE GOES ON.. well life old buddy, it better be f-ing AWESOME.
think about this, words of michael liu. only aquaintances, but he sure summed up how i felt during that cold month of december, very nicely:
"imagine learning to love someone for the first time..giving all you got..going thru so many changes to make urself worthy..growing up with that person..willing to die for them, cry for them, bleed for them..and in the end lose them and now watch other ppl tryiny to take them.. someone u experienced everything with for the first time..all going to some other lucky person..everything that u shared..all gone to them..everything we did,now is done with someone else..the things that u held most important within them, all given to someone else...and all u can do..is sit here and FEEL LIKE SHIT..and when u think bak..u think its all ur fault..that u made all the mistakes, the things u could of done to make things better..and the other person just enjoying their life without u, acting as if they did nothing wrong..and when they talk to u..its like they are rubbing it into u..and it eats u..to the point it takes u an hour to sleep..and when u dream..ur dreams bother and u wake up feeling like shit.."
so it's been nearly half a year. but my emotions are dictated by music and the weather.