R E V E L A T I O N
Hey~
My name is Abby.
I've been through a lot of things throughout my life. I've dealt with a lot of things... or at least I thought I have.
I have always told everyone who or what was bothering me, to stay away from them, give advice, and supposedly live happy and openly.
I don't think I was ever so wrong in my whole life.
You see, after tossing and turning night after night, I finally realized something: I've been taking myself and everyone around me way too seriously. I expect too much from everyone. I build things up into some great dream and when something goes wrong I get let down; From there I form a paranoia block which causes me to erase all trust in everyone and instill hatred and a distaste for meeting new people. If you've met me in person, you know I get real quiet and sarcastic/bitchy on the first meeting- it was really me being shy and on guard.
I guess because of my built up paranoia and insecurities, I locked myself in my room and only became concerned with myself, whatever job I had at the time, and whoever I was dating, at the moment. I caused drama without realizing it, and I pissed everyone off.
God, I was such a psycho bitch...
Anyway, I've decided to go back to the way I was. I miss loving everything and making the most out of my day. I miss running around with friends (which I have little to none of now), and I definately miss smiling and laughing with everything I have in me. I miss having respect for people and never judging them by a first glance.
Above all, I think I realized that I've made the years that were to be the time of my life a living hell.
Yeah, I'll still be an angry bitch, but that attitude will only reserved for the pit.
I also decided (for the sake of mankind and my fucking future) to be semi-edge. I'm quitting the pots (lmao), and I'm definately not getting "black out" drunk again. Yeah, it's hilarious, but I can't deal with it. I guess I'm choosing to never to put myself in the position where I can let a physical demon inhabit my soul..... or, in other words, get super fucked up and trash the little respect that people have for me :..
I guess, above all, this is an apology and explanation to whoever I have fucked over in the past. I'm not saying you have to forgive me or anything, but it would be appreciated if you took it to heart. I realize that all the things that I've done have molded me into this... this chaotic thing. I was a slave of the past. I was the only person who did this to myself. All the shit that happened was just circumstance.
My name is Abby.
I've been through a lot of things throughout my life. I've dealt with a lot of things... or at least I thought I have.
I have always told everyone who or what was bothering me, to stay away from them, give advice, and supposedly live happy and openly.
I don't think I was ever so wrong in my whole life.
You see, after tossing and turning night after night, I finally realized something: I've been taking myself and everyone around me way too seriously. I expect too much from everyone. I build things up into some great dream and when something goes wrong I get let down; From there I form a paranoia block which causes me to erase all trust in everyone and instill hatred and a distaste for meeting new people. If you've met me in person, you know I get real quiet and sarcastic/bitchy on the first meeting- it was really me being shy and on guard.
I guess because of my built up paranoia and insecurities, I locked myself in my room and only became concerned with myself, whatever job I had at the time, and whoever I was dating, at the moment. I caused drama without realizing it, and I pissed everyone off.
God, I was such a psycho bitch...
Anyway, I've decided to go back to the way I was. I miss loving everything and making the most out of my day. I miss running around with friends (which I have little to none of now), and I definately miss smiling and laughing with everything I have in me. I miss having respect for people and never judging them by a first glance.
Above all, I think I realized that I've made the years that were to be the time of my life a living hell.
Yeah, I'll still be an angry bitch, but that attitude will only reserved for the pit.
I also decided (for the sake of mankind and my fucking future) to be semi-edge. I'm quitting the pots (lmao), and I'm definately not getting "black out" drunk again. Yeah, it's hilarious, but I can't deal with it. I guess I'm choosing to never to put myself in the position where I can let a physical demon inhabit my soul..... or, in other words, get super fucked up and trash the little respect that people have for me :..
I guess, above all, this is an apology and explanation to whoever I have fucked over in the past. I'm not saying you have to forgive me or anything, but it would be appreciated if you took it to heart. I realize that all the things that I've done have molded me into this... this chaotic thing. I was a slave of the past. I was the only person who did this to myself. All the shit that happened was just circumstance.