is the juice worth the squeeze....

[abbytheeuphoric]

i think i'm homesick... for like the first time ever... :( it's no good at all. As of right now I don't really like Bethel... i feel totally out of place.. i mean it's alright- but i just don't know- i don't really like it right now- my classes all blow.. and i'm not meeting very many people who i can relate to.. sure everyone's nice..but not very many people have similiar interests as me.. i don't know-- i basically just think people think i'm mean or stuck up or werid .. or something.. like it's outrageous- this place is so different from what i'm normally used to. :-/ ...hopefully i'll get used to it. AH. I miss Alan so much right now too.. ah! It's kinda strange.. i'm not sure if i've really ever missed anyone.. well i have- but like a boyfriend.. maybe Sam.. but i don't remember missing him ever- i remember him always missing me.. but i don't remember ever really seeming to care i guess. BUT oohh. i miss Alan. I am totally in love with him. He makes me smile so so much and makes me feel so good about being me and he treats me so well and with so so much respect and he is absoulty gorgeous and so caring and such a sweetheart and ah.. i just can not believe that he would want to be with me.. i am so incredibally lucky and so so thankful.


He is so important to me. He's all i think about.. :) i can't wait until next year when he'll be here at school with me! AH! yay. We took tons of pictures tonight- they are so cute- what do you expect- he's adorable! I'll post them.. ! THe last 3 are my FAV! omfg. alan is so so so so adorable!
































Ah.. well i should get to bed.. or work on some stuff.. where is this katelyn girl!! it's already 3:10 and.. she's not back yet..!