triggered someone
Tonight I triggered someone I was chatting with online. She has DID and some RA background like my kiddo. I don't know anything about the kiddo's RA group though so I have no idea how much is similar between their experiences. I guess I know some things are similar, but other things are different. Anyway, I guess I thought it would be OK that the kiddo has a part that spins but apparently now. This other woman has issues with spinning and it is very scary for her to even think about. So of course we changed the subject.
I feel bad of course, but at the same time it is clearly not 100% avoidable.
I think a lot about how I interact with DID people online. I receive support from them but mostly I just listen. They tell their own stories which sound different from the kiddo's but I get a sense of the flavor of DID. So for example I have learned from talking to folks online how essential shame is in holding a DID system together. I think it would collapse if you could magically remove someone's sense of shame. At the same time it is very clear from talking to these same folks that abrupt change is really hard. So I don't hope for a speedy recovery for my kiddo. A slow and steady one will be just fine. I'm so grateful for these insights I can't even begin to tell you. And sometimes it's clear folks are taking risks to help me and I'm grateful for that.
The other day my kiddo finally learned at 24 how to ride a bike. Her problem was primarily being nervous about it so I know the fact that she was able to do it is a sign of that slow steady healing. I'm sure people heard me cheering all the way around the world.
I feel bad of course, but at the same time it is clearly not 100% avoidable.
I think a lot about how I interact with DID people online. I receive support from them but mostly I just listen. They tell their own stories which sound different from the kiddo's but I get a sense of the flavor of DID. So for example I have learned from talking to folks online how essential shame is in holding a DID system together. I think it would collapse if you could magically remove someone's sense of shame. At the same time it is very clear from talking to these same folks that abrupt change is really hard. So I don't hope for a speedy recovery for my kiddo. A slow and steady one will be just fine. I'm so grateful for these insights I can't even begin to tell you. And sometimes it's clear folks are taking risks to help me and I'm grateful for that.
The other day my kiddo finally learned at 24 how to ride a bike. Her problem was primarily being nervous about it so I know the fact that she was able to do it is a sign of that slow steady healing. I'm sure people heard me cheering all the way around the world.