PonderMuse
Is it possible to overuse a friendship?
Like.. to recently meet someone, and instantly become their friend
And to get close, really really close to them in a short amount of time
and then just to feel separated. to feel like you simply don't know them anymore
Like you've already exhausted what could have been a nice long friendship
but you've squeezed it all into a few short weeks
and now you're just acquaintances again..
it's like there is nothing to talk about because you've already said it all
It's as if you are afraid they are bored with you, becuase you are almost too close to them
Is this possible? If it is I feel it has just happened to me...
I've always known I let people too close to me too quickly, but this sets a new record.
And it kills me to have someone this close... It worries me.
Why am I so afraid of having close friends again?
Looking back on the past year... I never let anyone in truly close until the very end of the year; and even then it was people that i'm no longer close to. What is my problem with this? It's like i have an inability to have true friends, yet I have a few now. But i'm pushing them away. I can feel myself wanting to disappear when I see them... but why? I think there is something truly wrong with me.
And now that I have these close friends, why can't i accept that they are my friends instead of thinking they must just be pityfriends or something... This is the icing on the cake of my mental instabilities.
Editt:/:/ im thinking clearly again and it scares me more than anything..
Like.. to recently meet someone, and instantly become their friend
And to get close, really really close to them in a short amount of time
and then just to feel separated. to feel like you simply don't know them anymore
Like you've already exhausted what could have been a nice long friendship
but you've squeezed it all into a few short weeks
and now you're just acquaintances again..
it's like there is nothing to talk about because you've already said it all
It's as if you are afraid they are bored with you, becuase you are almost too close to them
Is this possible? If it is I feel it has just happened to me...
I've always known I let people too close to me too quickly, but this sets a new record.
And it kills me to have someone this close... It worries me.
Why am I so afraid of having close friends again?
Looking back on the past year... I never let anyone in truly close until the very end of the year; and even then it was people that i'm no longer close to. What is my problem with this? It's like i have an inability to have true friends, yet I have a few now. But i'm pushing them away. I can feel myself wanting to disappear when I see them... but why? I think there is something truly wrong with me.
And now that I have these close friends, why can't i accept that they are my friends instead of thinking they must just be pityfriends or something... This is the icing on the cake of my mental instabilities.
Editt:/:/ im thinking clearly again and it scares me more than anything..