(no subject)
I'm still alive, sometimes it doesn't feel that way but I am. Shit's changing and unfortunately I'm forced to realize that I don't have all the answers so I can't change the past or force time to go in reverse. I'm also insane. Like, need to talk to someone but I won't type crazy. Or maybe I'm not because apparently crazy fucks can't tell they're crazy, right? Either way, I'm good I suppose, just wish I had someone to sleep with every night, my bed is so big and empty when I'm the only one in it. But then again that would require sleep right? I'm able to sleep during the day when I should be enjoying life but at night my brain doesn't want to stop. It actually causes problems and attacks my guilt so that I can't sleep. Makes me hate my brain, but my brain forces me to think it's right. Catch-22/Clockwork Orange type shit right there. Appears normal but it's not, can't fix it but you can't continue with it broken. I don't really know what I'm talking about. I'm actually more sane than I think and less sane than I project, or maybe I'm just as crazy as I project because I do some fucked up stuff for no real explainable reason. Oh, and I dress like normal people now. I spend a lot of time being busy missing people but I'm too busy to do anything about it. Hopefully around November 21st (aka the b-day, so you better get me some shit, heh) I'll be able to take a trip w/Ry. I'll let you know if I end up drifting your way. As for now, I'm going to go watch House, read about a half Japanese, half American assassin, and hopefully drift away to a peaceful slumber before my brain convinces me I'm killing someone that I may or may not have been in a previous life. Like I said, fucking crazy.
Life is hard.
I love my life.
Unfuckwithable...
Life is hard.
I love my life.
Unfuckwithable...