[One-shot] Being An Idol
Hello! I'm back with this request one-shot by mysweetestlove . Please give her half of the credits because she was the one who thought of the idea. I decided to post up this one-shot today because tomorrow is Sakurai Sho's birthday! (O_O) He's turning 29 years old! I just noticed that Sho and I have a 10 year difference... Wow! He still looks like he's 26 years old. (>_<)
For my multi-chapter fanfic, currently I have 14 chapters and like 23 pages of pure and fluff goodness. XP I haven't decided on a title yet but I'll post up the chapters once they are completed!
Oh, is it me or a lot of readers are Sho-biased... I don't mind because I can't pick a favorite out of the 5 but whenever I do polls about who should I write about, somehow the winner ends up being Sho with a huge difference from the others. I believe the poll I recently did, Sho got what.. like 6 votes...? Poor Ohno didn't get any. Oh well it doesn't really matter to me. As long as everyone is satisfied, I'll be fine. (^o^)
-Notes: mysweetestlove requested for the story to be in 2008, where one of Arashi's show was still airing called 'Arashi no Shukudai-kun'. The show started on October 2, 2006 and then ended on March 22, 2010. It is a variety show where the guests bring homework (usually food) to the audience and vice versa.
"kawaii" - cute
"kiirei" - beautiful/pretty
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Being An Idol
Every child dreams of getting their dream job; either its to be a doctor, a teacher, a police officer, a singer or any other profession that many children look up to. They want jobs that will make them happy, their parents happy and make others happy. But once they grow up and learn that their dreams cannot be fulfilled, they stray away from that path and find a career that they’re good at.
When I was 7 years old, my mother had asked me what I wanted to do. Naïve and pure at the time, I admired idols like Morning Musume and SPEED. I wanted to be like them, who can sing, dance and act. An idol that outshined other people and the spotlight that only focused on one person.
But the problem is, I’m not talkative, outgoing, or outspoken. I like to keep things to myself and won’t say a word to anyone about it. I’m quite shy in real life but once the cameras start rolling, I forget about my real life and act like someone different. You could say I have a split personality but honestly, I’m just acting.
When I was 10 years old, my mother sent me to an audition for an idol agency. I always thought being an idol would be easy and fun, but boy I was totally wrong.
It has been 15 years since I entered the idol industry and finally worked my way to the top. It has been a long and difficult road for me but I reached my goal.
But what if I find someone who sees the real me? The shy, quiet girl that would blend in society and you wouldn’t be able to figure out that she’s a celebrity. I want to show people my real self that only my family knows.
I want to live up to people’s expectations so I continue to lie to myself about who I really am. Why is it so hard to be myself? Will I able to find ‘that guy’ that I can be my real self with?
On my days off from singing or acting, I would be at home and go on my computer. I would stay at home and never go out. I liked that lifestyle. I didn’t have to worry about people finding out where I went or who I went with.
People call me a goddess or an angel. Also they say that I got my looks from my mother and my talent from my father. It made things easier for me if I did inherit their genes…
But one day, that special day, I learned how to become brave in order to face the one that I love.
~*~
I played with my fingers as the director and producer talked to me. This was a meeting for a show that I was going to appear in a few weeks. They wanted to find out what I can talk about and what foods I like.
I kept my head low as they talked. I was nervous and scared, they looked friendly but I’m a person that doesn’t socialize too much.
Beside me was my mother, aka my manager. She made sure that everything was going to run smoothly for me. I’m grateful that my mother is my manager but honestly, she picks on me too much. She criticizes on everything I do. Never once has she hugged me, or say that she was proud of me.
She is strict, harsh and rude. I don’t even know why I keep her as my manager. But, she’s my mother and we’re related by blood. I can’t refuse her and I can’t speak up against her. I love her deep in my heart because she has been through hell for me. All I can do is follow and listen to her orders.
“Kiyomi-chan, are there any questions or concerns about the show?” The director looked at me with a delighted face. I slowly looked up and shook my head. The director started to lean back and looked at the producer who was sitting beside him. They were probably wondering what was wrong with me.
“Kiyomi just recently got better from a nasty cold so she she’s on some strong medication. She will definitely be fine by the shooting.” My mother assured them and gave them a big smile. Both the director and producer nodded their heads slowly and then got up from the sofa. My mother and I got up as well and the four of us bowed our heads to each other.
As soon the door closed behind them when they left, I sighed in relief and my mother smacked me on my head. “Kiyomi! What did I say about meeting people? Didn’t I remind you to pretend to be your image that you created? I know you’re shy and quiet but you’re an idol. You should know how to socialize and be talkative to people!” My mother scolded at me and then she quickly left the room.
I rolled my eyes and covered my face with my hands. Why can’t I speak out? I’ve been doing this business for 15 years and still I can’t find the courage to talk to people. If I’m in front of a camera, I’m different. I know that I can act. I know it’s weird but I guess it makes me different than any other celebrity.
I clapped my hands on my cheeks and quickly rose up from the chair. I started to walk towards the door when I heard a few voices coming from the hallway. I slowly and quietly opened the door. I popped my head in between the door and looked at my right side. I didn’t see anyone. I sighed in relief and I was glad that I didn’t have to talk to anyone if I was in the hallway.
“Hirano-san?” I heard a voice coming from behind me. I jumped up and my heart started to beat faster. I hate when people do that to me. I slowly turned my head to see Sakurai Sho looking at me and his hands were on his hips.
I smiled and widened the door. He gave me a weird look and then asked me. “What are you doing?” I bit my lower lip and looked away from him. I didn’t want to make eye contact with him. I didn’t want him to know that I was trying to avoid people.
“Ah, I thought my manager was still out here.” I lied. I knew that once she left my dressing, she went to have a smoke on the rooftop of the building. She would always scold me, leave me and then go to have a smoke to clam down her nerves and get rid of her stress. It was her daily routine.
“Iie, but I did see her leave but I don’t know where she went. Gomenasai.” Sho bowed his head to me. I quickly shook my head and waved my hands at him. “It’s okay. I can see her when she comes back, after all she is my manager.” I giggled.
Sho chuckled and nodded his head. “Oh, by the way, I was just talking with the director and producer. They’re really excited to have you on our show.” Sho said with a gentle and pleasant smile on his face.
I smiled and nodded my head back. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it too.”
In a few weeks, I was going to appear on Arashi no Shukudai-kun. I was going to meet Arashi and Ogura Tomoaki, a morning newscaster. I had to promote my movie and my single for the movie.
“Well I have to leave now. It was nice seeing you.” Sho said and then quickly dashed away from me. I nodded my head and waved my hands as he disappeared in the distance.
I sighed and lowered my shoulders. That was close. I almost revealed my ‘normal’ self to him.
I walked back into my dressing room and laid down on the nice and clean tatami mats. Then I slowly closed my eyes, hoping that my life was actually different to what I wanted it to be.
~*~
“Please get inside the box.” The director said to me. I nodded my head and sat on the chair. The box slowly started to close on me and the show began.
“Arashi Shukudai-kun starts!” Ogura-san shouted and Arashi began to push the box forward. “Hm, this is interesting. ‘Known as a beautiful goddess and a graceful angel!’ What does this mean?” Sho asked. I giggled quietly to myself and I heard the audience shout. “Eh~!”
“Eh? Dare?” I heard Nino whisper. I giggled again and then Sho shouted. “She has been doing this for 15 years now! And she’s only 25 years old!”
I could feel the tension from everyone in the audience were either shocked or confused. I would be too, if I were only given these clues about someone.
“Let’s not keep her waiting too long. We can’t make a goddess angry.” Ogura-san joked and then I heard laughter. I smiled and slowly the box began to open. I looked around and bowed my head. “It’s Hirano Kiyomi-san!”
The audience shouted various words like “kawaii” or “kiirei” and I bowed to them. “Wow, a goddess did appear.” Ogura-san said and then Aiba muttered. “Ogura-san’s tension is rising up.”
“CM!” The director shouted and the red lights from the cameras turned off.
I giggled and bowed my head to everyone again. “Ah, please have a seat over there.” Sho said and pointed to the sofa. I smiled at him and tried to find my balance as I tried to step off the box.
Honestly wearing high heels when you’re trying to step off something not steady is not that easy. I’m not a high heels person; I’m more like a flats person. Also my balance isn’t that great. I don’t even know how I passed gym class in high school.
As I tried to step off the shaky box, I saw a hand in front of me. I looked up to see it was Sho’s hand. I took it and stepped off the box. “Ah, arigato gozaimasu.” I mumbled and he nodded his head to me. My heart began to pound faster.
“Nice to see you again Hirano-san.” Sho said and smiled at me. I smiled back to him and he sat down beside me. I placed my hands on my lap and I could feel my sweat perspiring. I usually get sweaty hands when I’m on talk shows, especially variety shows.
“3, 2, 1.” The director shouted and cued in Sho. Sho smiled and shouted. “Let’s welcome Hirano Kiyomi-san again!” He started to clap and everyone followed him. I smiled and slightly bowed my head to the camera.
“So we haven’t actually worked with you but we’ve appeared on some music shows together.” Sho said as he looked at me. I nodded my head and smiled at him. “Hai but maybe in the future I may work with everyone.” Nino, Ohno, Jun and Aiba started to nod their heads.
“Have you seen this show before?” Sho asked with an intrigued look on his face. I nodded my head and started to giggle. “I saw the one that with consistency of corn starch and you had to run on it while answering a question.” I looked at Aiba and he folded his arms as he nodded his head.
“Oh that one. Ailando.” Aiba smiled and kicked his legs up in the air and then crossed them. Then I turned my head back towards Sho. “And then Sakurai-san’s…” I trailed off. I didn’t want to say the next word. It was going to quite embarrassing if I say it.
“Ah, you mean my nipple exposure?” Sho said to me. I slightly blushed and nodded my head. The audience started to laugh and I saw Sho covering his face with his hands. “You know we should stop with the nipple t-shirt…” Sho muttered and kept his head low. I giggled and then he quickly snapped out of his depression and smiled broadly. The audience laughed and I glanced over at Nino and Ohno, they started to shake their heads slowly.
“There is something I want to ask you.” Sho said and placed his cards in the sofa and he shifted to look at me. “Which Arashi member is your ideal boyfriend?”
All five members of Arashi started to straighten up their backs. Nino started to wink at me, Ohno was staring at me, Jun looked away from me with his cool posture and Aiba started to clear his throat. I laughed and looked around the room. I could see wondering and curious faces in the audience.
I looked at each person in the room and shrugged my shoulders. “Hm, I haven’t actually thought about that before.” Arashi started to fall down to the floor, like I messed up. While Ogura-san was laughing that I didn’t give a straightforward reply.
“Okay, what characteristics do you want in a guy?” Nino asked me and rested his chin in his hand, and then he rested his elbow on one of his legs.
“I want a caring, intelligent, funny and talkative guy.” I said and looked around the room to see if one of members of Arashi fit my description of my ideal boyfriend. “Ah, maybe it’s Sakurai-san if I think about it…” I trailed off.
Sho quickly got up and clenched his fist. “Yatta.” He looked super happy. Maybe he was giving me a hint that his feelings for me was something more…
~*~
“So how was today?” Sho asked me. I cocked my head as I giggled. “Today was interesting. Thank you for having me on the show.” I bowed my head to everyone. Arashi, Ogura-san and the audience began to clap.
“Today’s guest was Hirano Kiyomi-san!” Sho shouted and everyone got up. Everyone began to walk off the stage and out of the studio.
“Arigato for having me on the show today. It was fun especially tasting the food.” I bowed to them and they bowed back. “We hope you get to come onto the show again.” Jun said and walked off. Ohno, Nino, Aiba and also Ogura-san nodded their heads and followed Jun.
I chuckled and I noticed that Sho was still in front of me. “Hm, is something wrong?” I wanted to know what was on his mind. When the show started, I was scared and nervous but I didn’t want to show it. He must have figured out my true feelings because during commercial breaks, he kept assuring me that I just have to be myself and don’t worry about anything.
He was considerate, kind and thoughtful of me, which is hard for a guy to see since I always hide my true intentions and feelings in front of strangers.
Slowly and over during the duration of the show, my heart started to beat faster when someone said his name or I looked at him. I didn’t know why I started to feel this way. We were just acquaintances and I can’t develop relationships with anyone because of my strict mother/manager.
I always wanted a boyfriend but as you know, my romantic life is always placed on hold. I had a guy embrace me once but that was for a movie. I also already had my first kiss and it was when I was 15, but it was for a drama.
If you think about it, I don’t even consider myself ever having someone that I can love. This demanding career is hard and stressful. Maybe I should quit and live a normal life, but I know that many of my fans would be disappointed with me. It can never be my way, can it?
“Ah, nothing.” Sho shook his head as he disappeared from his train of thought. I blinked my eyes and walked towards my dressing room. Sho caught up to me and we started to walk side by side.
“I don’t know how to thank you for today. You wouldn’t believe that I was really nervous before the show started.” I giggled and took a few glances at Sho. He was staring at the floor. What was wrong with him? Why is he always dreaming off?
“Well I have to leave now. Bye-bye.” I said to Sho as he stared at the floor. He slowly raised his head and bobbed his head to me, while he waved his hands at me. “Hm. Bye-bye.”
I quickly walked away from him. I was worried about him; he was always daydreaming and mostly ignored everything around him. I wanted to ask him if he was all right but being an idol, you’re always in demand. I wish I had a few minutes to spare to be with him.
~*~
I walked into a TV station and started to head to my dressing room. This was my third show that I had to go on today. I was tired, my voice was beginning to hurt and my legs were crying out in pain. I had to wear high heels to match with my dress that I wore when I performed my new song. Apparently my designer wants me to look more mature and taller than what I actually am. I told her a million of times that I would be okay to wear sneakers for performances, but you know no one actually listens to what I say. Isn’t that sad?
It was 3 weeks since I last saw Sho or Arashi. I watched the on air when it aired on TV. I must admit that Arashi no Shukudai-kun was the only show that made me laugh so much. As I watched myself on TV, I noticed Sho tried to get closer to me and when Sho was doing kind things for me, the camera would cut him off.
I wanted to see Sho again but I wouldn’t be able to concentrate or focus on what I’m doing. If I drift off into dreamland, I know that my mother would scold me again, and I didn’t want that to happen. Whenever I see his face, think of him or hear his name, my heart would pound faster. I think I fell in love with him…
As I continued to walk to my dressing room with my earphones in my ears, blasting music, I noticed a familiar figure in the distance.
I slowly came to a stop and shouted. “Sakurai-san?” Sho looked up and turned around. “Hm?” He widened his eyes and stared at me. “Hirano-san?” He asked me. I smiled and unplugged my earphones from my ears. “It’s nice seeing you again.” I slightly bowed my head and he did the same towards me.
“Did you see the on air of the episode?” Sho asked me with a curious look. I giggled and nodded my head back to him. “Hai. I even taped it because I could watch it over and over again. I especially like the part when…” I looked at Sho and he was in a deep thought again like what he was in after the show ended.
I folded my arms and grinned at him. “Just say what’s on your mind. You keep dreaming off and you probably didn’t hear what I said.” He sighed and I started to walk towards him. “I was just wondering if what you said was true. About what you look in a guy.” Sho said as he looked away from me.
I furrowed my eyes and slightly cocked my head. “Hai. Those things that I said were true. Why are you worrying about that? My manager is strict when it comes to romantic relationships and…” Before I could finish my sentence, Sho kissed me on the lips to stop me from talking.
I widened my eyes and then slowly, I closed them. I was truly happy that Sho kissed me. Am I dreaming? Is this a prank?
Sho slowly took his lips off from mine and I looked up at him. “Why?” I whispered to him. He wrapped his arms around me and muttered in my ear.
“It was when we both met each other at a television building. You didn’t talk to anyone and kept your head down. I could tell you were really shy but when we appeared on the same show, you displayed a different face. So I was curious and intrigued about you so I started to watch all the shows you appeared on. Slowly over time I became a fan of yours and then that’s how I started to develop feelings for you. I can still remember the first time we encountered each other was during backstage of Music Station. I didn’t know where my microphone went and it was you who gave me yours. You said. ‘Take mine. You’re performing first. I can always get another one from the staff.’ I grabbed your microphone and you quickly dashed off to find a microphone to use. I can never forget your considerate and kind heart.”
I blushed and started chuckling. “Wow, you really know me well and you remembered something that I don’t even remember. You must be my number one fan.” I joked and Sho started to chuckle.
“Kiyomi! Where are you?” I heard my mother calling out in the distance. Sho slowly slipped his arms off around me and stared right into my eyes. I stared back at him and kissed him on the cheek. “Arigato. Maybe I was right, about you being my type.”
“Kiyomi, there you are.” My mother sighed and rolled her eyes as she walked towards us, and then she placed her cell phone that she was holding back into her purse.
“Kiyomi-chan, we have to hurry to the next show…” My mother trailed off as she lowered her head to look at where my hands were, my hand was gripping tightly onto Sho’s. I looked up at Sho, I assumed that he knew that I was afraid to confront my mother.
“Kiyomi-chan, why are you…” Before my mother finished what she was saying, I interrupted her. “Okaasan, I know that we made a deal that I won’t have any romantic relationships with anyone but I don’t want my life to be that way. I was change myself. Instead of always lying myself in front of the camera, I want to be the person that I created. I want to be talkative, outspoken and outgoing on camera and even in my private life. I finally found someone that I can be my true self with. Sho-kun helped me realize this. I hope that you are okay with that.”
My mother sighed and folded her arms. I glanced at Sho and he had a scared look on his face. I looked at my mother and gradually a small smile appeared on her face.
“Finally.” She muttered. I furrowed my eyebrows and said. “Eh?” I was confused about what my mother said. Why did she say ‘Finally’?
“I was beginning to worry that you developed a cold heart. I know you’re always shy and you would never say no to me. I’m glad that you found someone that you can be with. Even though both of you guys are idols, I hope the only rumor I hear is that you’re getting married. But that will be an option for both of you a few years later.” My mother smirked and turned her head towards Sho.
“I hope you will be able to love and protect Kiyomi whole-heartily.” My mother said with a smile and started to walk away from us. “I’ll leave you guys alone for a few minutes but Kiyomi, after your chat with Sakurai-san you go straight back to the dressing room. “ I nodded my head to her and she vanished.
I took off my grip from Sho’s hand but he still kept holding onto it. “Arigato Sho-kun, I was so nervous about her reaction. I didn’t expect her to allow me to be with you.” Sho smiled and kissed me on the lips.
I thought that my appearance on Arashi no Shukudai-kun, I would just talk and promote my single and movie. But who would expected that I would also find love and become confident to tell my mother that I want to have a romantic relationship with Sho.
Are you the quiet and shy person or are you the outgoing and talkative person? Well I figured out that I’m both.
For my multi-chapter fanfic, currently I have 14 chapters and like 23 pages of pure and fluff goodness. XP I haven't decided on a title yet but I'll post up the chapters once they are completed!
Oh, is it me or a lot of readers are Sho-biased... I don't mind because I can't pick a favorite out of the 5 but whenever I do polls about who should I write about, somehow the winner ends up being Sho with a huge difference from the others. I believe the poll I recently did, Sho got what.. like 6 votes...? Poor Ohno didn't get any. Oh well it doesn't really matter to me. As long as everyone is satisfied, I'll be fine. (^o^)
-Notes: mysweetestlove requested for the story to be in 2008, where one of Arashi's show was still airing called 'Arashi no Shukudai-kun'. The show started on October 2, 2006 and then ended on March 22, 2010. It is a variety show where the guests bring homework (usually food) to the audience and vice versa.
"kawaii" - cute
"kiirei" - beautiful/pretty
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Being An Idol
Every child dreams of getting their dream job; either its to be a doctor, a teacher, a police officer, a singer or any other profession that many children look up to. They want jobs that will make them happy, their parents happy and make others happy. But once they grow up and learn that their dreams cannot be fulfilled, they stray away from that path and find a career that they’re good at.
When I was 7 years old, my mother had asked me what I wanted to do. Naïve and pure at the time, I admired idols like Morning Musume and SPEED. I wanted to be like them, who can sing, dance and act. An idol that outshined other people and the spotlight that only focused on one person.
But the problem is, I’m not talkative, outgoing, or outspoken. I like to keep things to myself and won’t say a word to anyone about it. I’m quite shy in real life but once the cameras start rolling, I forget about my real life and act like someone different. You could say I have a split personality but honestly, I’m just acting.
When I was 10 years old, my mother sent me to an audition for an idol agency. I always thought being an idol would be easy and fun, but boy I was totally wrong.
It has been 15 years since I entered the idol industry and finally worked my way to the top. It has been a long and difficult road for me but I reached my goal.
But what if I find someone who sees the real me? The shy, quiet girl that would blend in society and you wouldn’t be able to figure out that she’s a celebrity. I want to show people my real self that only my family knows.
I want to live up to people’s expectations so I continue to lie to myself about who I really am. Why is it so hard to be myself? Will I able to find ‘that guy’ that I can be my real self with?
On my days off from singing or acting, I would be at home and go on my computer. I would stay at home and never go out. I liked that lifestyle. I didn’t have to worry about people finding out where I went or who I went with.
People call me a goddess or an angel. Also they say that I got my looks from my mother and my talent from my father. It made things easier for me if I did inherit their genes…
But one day, that special day, I learned how to become brave in order to face the one that I love.
~*~
I played with my fingers as the director and producer talked to me. This was a meeting for a show that I was going to appear in a few weeks. They wanted to find out what I can talk about and what foods I like.
I kept my head low as they talked. I was nervous and scared, they looked friendly but I’m a person that doesn’t socialize too much.
Beside me was my mother, aka my manager. She made sure that everything was going to run smoothly for me. I’m grateful that my mother is my manager but honestly, she picks on me too much. She criticizes on everything I do. Never once has she hugged me, or say that she was proud of me.
She is strict, harsh and rude. I don’t even know why I keep her as my manager. But, she’s my mother and we’re related by blood. I can’t refuse her and I can’t speak up against her. I love her deep in my heart because she has been through hell for me. All I can do is follow and listen to her orders.
“Kiyomi-chan, are there any questions or concerns about the show?” The director looked at me with a delighted face. I slowly looked up and shook my head. The director started to lean back and looked at the producer who was sitting beside him. They were probably wondering what was wrong with me.
“Kiyomi just recently got better from a nasty cold so she she’s on some strong medication. She will definitely be fine by the shooting.” My mother assured them and gave them a big smile. Both the director and producer nodded their heads slowly and then got up from the sofa. My mother and I got up as well and the four of us bowed our heads to each other.
As soon the door closed behind them when they left, I sighed in relief and my mother smacked me on my head. “Kiyomi! What did I say about meeting people? Didn’t I remind you to pretend to be your image that you created? I know you’re shy and quiet but you’re an idol. You should know how to socialize and be talkative to people!” My mother scolded at me and then she quickly left the room.
I rolled my eyes and covered my face with my hands. Why can’t I speak out? I’ve been doing this business for 15 years and still I can’t find the courage to talk to people. If I’m in front of a camera, I’m different. I know that I can act. I know it’s weird but I guess it makes me different than any other celebrity.
I clapped my hands on my cheeks and quickly rose up from the chair. I started to walk towards the door when I heard a few voices coming from the hallway. I slowly and quietly opened the door. I popped my head in between the door and looked at my right side. I didn’t see anyone. I sighed in relief and I was glad that I didn’t have to talk to anyone if I was in the hallway.
“Hirano-san?” I heard a voice coming from behind me. I jumped up and my heart started to beat faster. I hate when people do that to me. I slowly turned my head to see Sakurai Sho looking at me and his hands were on his hips.
I smiled and widened the door. He gave me a weird look and then asked me. “What are you doing?” I bit my lower lip and looked away from him. I didn’t want to make eye contact with him. I didn’t want him to know that I was trying to avoid people.
“Ah, I thought my manager was still out here.” I lied. I knew that once she left my dressing, she went to have a smoke on the rooftop of the building. She would always scold me, leave me and then go to have a smoke to clam down her nerves and get rid of her stress. It was her daily routine.
“Iie, but I did see her leave but I don’t know where she went. Gomenasai.” Sho bowed his head to me. I quickly shook my head and waved my hands at him. “It’s okay. I can see her when she comes back, after all she is my manager.” I giggled.
Sho chuckled and nodded his head. “Oh, by the way, I was just talking with the director and producer. They’re really excited to have you on our show.” Sho said with a gentle and pleasant smile on his face.
I smiled and nodded my head back. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it too.”
In a few weeks, I was going to appear on Arashi no Shukudai-kun. I was going to meet Arashi and Ogura Tomoaki, a morning newscaster. I had to promote my movie and my single for the movie.
“Well I have to leave now. It was nice seeing you.” Sho said and then quickly dashed away from me. I nodded my head and waved my hands as he disappeared in the distance.
I sighed and lowered my shoulders. That was close. I almost revealed my ‘normal’ self to him.
I walked back into my dressing room and laid down on the nice and clean tatami mats. Then I slowly closed my eyes, hoping that my life was actually different to what I wanted it to be.
~*~
“Please get inside the box.” The director said to me. I nodded my head and sat on the chair. The box slowly started to close on me and the show began.
“Arashi Shukudai-kun starts!” Ogura-san shouted and Arashi began to push the box forward. “Hm, this is interesting. ‘Known as a beautiful goddess and a graceful angel!’ What does this mean?” Sho asked. I giggled quietly to myself and I heard the audience shout. “Eh~!”
“Eh? Dare?” I heard Nino whisper. I giggled again and then Sho shouted. “She has been doing this for 15 years now! And she’s only 25 years old!”
I could feel the tension from everyone in the audience were either shocked or confused. I would be too, if I were only given these clues about someone.
“Let’s not keep her waiting too long. We can’t make a goddess angry.” Ogura-san joked and then I heard laughter. I smiled and slowly the box began to open. I looked around and bowed my head. “It’s Hirano Kiyomi-san!”
The audience shouted various words like “kawaii” or “kiirei” and I bowed to them. “Wow, a goddess did appear.” Ogura-san said and then Aiba muttered. “Ogura-san’s tension is rising up.”
“CM!” The director shouted and the red lights from the cameras turned off.
I giggled and bowed my head to everyone again. “Ah, please have a seat over there.” Sho said and pointed to the sofa. I smiled at him and tried to find my balance as I tried to step off the box.
Honestly wearing high heels when you’re trying to step off something not steady is not that easy. I’m not a high heels person; I’m more like a flats person. Also my balance isn’t that great. I don’t even know how I passed gym class in high school.
As I tried to step off the shaky box, I saw a hand in front of me. I looked up to see it was Sho’s hand. I took it and stepped off the box. “Ah, arigato gozaimasu.” I mumbled and he nodded his head to me. My heart began to pound faster.
“Nice to see you again Hirano-san.” Sho said and smiled at me. I smiled back to him and he sat down beside me. I placed my hands on my lap and I could feel my sweat perspiring. I usually get sweaty hands when I’m on talk shows, especially variety shows.
“3, 2, 1.” The director shouted and cued in Sho. Sho smiled and shouted. “Let’s welcome Hirano Kiyomi-san again!” He started to clap and everyone followed him. I smiled and slightly bowed my head to the camera.
“So we haven’t actually worked with you but we’ve appeared on some music shows together.” Sho said as he looked at me. I nodded my head and smiled at him. “Hai but maybe in the future I may work with everyone.” Nino, Ohno, Jun and Aiba started to nod their heads.
“Have you seen this show before?” Sho asked with an intrigued look on his face. I nodded my head and started to giggle. “I saw the one that with consistency of corn starch and you had to run on it while answering a question.” I looked at Aiba and he folded his arms as he nodded his head.
“Oh that one. Ailando.” Aiba smiled and kicked his legs up in the air and then crossed them. Then I turned my head back towards Sho. “And then Sakurai-san’s…” I trailed off. I didn’t want to say the next word. It was going to quite embarrassing if I say it.
“Ah, you mean my nipple exposure?” Sho said to me. I slightly blushed and nodded my head. The audience started to laugh and I saw Sho covering his face with his hands. “You know we should stop with the nipple t-shirt…” Sho muttered and kept his head low. I giggled and then he quickly snapped out of his depression and smiled broadly. The audience laughed and I glanced over at Nino and Ohno, they started to shake their heads slowly.
“There is something I want to ask you.” Sho said and placed his cards in the sofa and he shifted to look at me. “Which Arashi member is your ideal boyfriend?”
All five members of Arashi started to straighten up their backs. Nino started to wink at me, Ohno was staring at me, Jun looked away from me with his cool posture and Aiba started to clear his throat. I laughed and looked around the room. I could see wondering and curious faces in the audience.
I looked at each person in the room and shrugged my shoulders. “Hm, I haven’t actually thought about that before.” Arashi started to fall down to the floor, like I messed up. While Ogura-san was laughing that I didn’t give a straightforward reply.
“Okay, what characteristics do you want in a guy?” Nino asked me and rested his chin in his hand, and then he rested his elbow on one of his legs.
“I want a caring, intelligent, funny and talkative guy.” I said and looked around the room to see if one of members of Arashi fit my description of my ideal boyfriend. “Ah, maybe it’s Sakurai-san if I think about it…” I trailed off.
Sho quickly got up and clenched his fist. “Yatta.” He looked super happy. Maybe he was giving me a hint that his feelings for me was something more…
~*~
“So how was today?” Sho asked me. I cocked my head as I giggled. “Today was interesting. Thank you for having me on the show.” I bowed my head to everyone. Arashi, Ogura-san and the audience began to clap.
“Today’s guest was Hirano Kiyomi-san!” Sho shouted and everyone got up. Everyone began to walk off the stage and out of the studio.
“Arigato for having me on the show today. It was fun especially tasting the food.” I bowed to them and they bowed back. “We hope you get to come onto the show again.” Jun said and walked off. Ohno, Nino, Aiba and also Ogura-san nodded their heads and followed Jun.
I chuckled and I noticed that Sho was still in front of me. “Hm, is something wrong?” I wanted to know what was on his mind. When the show started, I was scared and nervous but I didn’t want to show it. He must have figured out my true feelings because during commercial breaks, he kept assuring me that I just have to be myself and don’t worry about anything.
He was considerate, kind and thoughtful of me, which is hard for a guy to see since I always hide my true intentions and feelings in front of strangers.
Slowly and over during the duration of the show, my heart started to beat faster when someone said his name or I looked at him. I didn’t know why I started to feel this way. We were just acquaintances and I can’t develop relationships with anyone because of my strict mother/manager.
I always wanted a boyfriend but as you know, my romantic life is always placed on hold. I had a guy embrace me once but that was for a movie. I also already had my first kiss and it was when I was 15, but it was for a drama.
If you think about it, I don’t even consider myself ever having someone that I can love. This demanding career is hard and stressful. Maybe I should quit and live a normal life, but I know that many of my fans would be disappointed with me. It can never be my way, can it?
“Ah, nothing.” Sho shook his head as he disappeared from his train of thought. I blinked my eyes and walked towards my dressing room. Sho caught up to me and we started to walk side by side.
“I don’t know how to thank you for today. You wouldn’t believe that I was really nervous before the show started.” I giggled and took a few glances at Sho. He was staring at the floor. What was wrong with him? Why is he always dreaming off?
“Well I have to leave now. Bye-bye.” I said to Sho as he stared at the floor. He slowly raised his head and bobbed his head to me, while he waved his hands at me. “Hm. Bye-bye.”
I quickly walked away from him. I was worried about him; he was always daydreaming and mostly ignored everything around him. I wanted to ask him if he was all right but being an idol, you’re always in demand. I wish I had a few minutes to spare to be with him.
~*~
I walked into a TV station and started to head to my dressing room. This was my third show that I had to go on today. I was tired, my voice was beginning to hurt and my legs were crying out in pain. I had to wear high heels to match with my dress that I wore when I performed my new song. Apparently my designer wants me to look more mature and taller than what I actually am. I told her a million of times that I would be okay to wear sneakers for performances, but you know no one actually listens to what I say. Isn’t that sad?
It was 3 weeks since I last saw Sho or Arashi. I watched the on air when it aired on TV. I must admit that Arashi no Shukudai-kun was the only show that made me laugh so much. As I watched myself on TV, I noticed Sho tried to get closer to me and when Sho was doing kind things for me, the camera would cut him off.
I wanted to see Sho again but I wouldn’t be able to concentrate or focus on what I’m doing. If I drift off into dreamland, I know that my mother would scold me again, and I didn’t want that to happen. Whenever I see his face, think of him or hear his name, my heart would pound faster. I think I fell in love with him…
As I continued to walk to my dressing room with my earphones in my ears, blasting music, I noticed a familiar figure in the distance.
I slowly came to a stop and shouted. “Sakurai-san?” Sho looked up and turned around. “Hm?” He widened his eyes and stared at me. “Hirano-san?” He asked me. I smiled and unplugged my earphones from my ears. “It’s nice seeing you again.” I slightly bowed my head and he did the same towards me.
“Did you see the on air of the episode?” Sho asked me with a curious look. I giggled and nodded my head back to him. “Hai. I even taped it because I could watch it over and over again. I especially like the part when…” I looked at Sho and he was in a deep thought again like what he was in after the show ended.
I folded my arms and grinned at him. “Just say what’s on your mind. You keep dreaming off and you probably didn’t hear what I said.” He sighed and I started to walk towards him. “I was just wondering if what you said was true. About what you look in a guy.” Sho said as he looked away from me.
I furrowed my eyes and slightly cocked my head. “Hai. Those things that I said were true. Why are you worrying about that? My manager is strict when it comes to romantic relationships and…” Before I could finish my sentence, Sho kissed me on the lips to stop me from talking.
I widened my eyes and then slowly, I closed them. I was truly happy that Sho kissed me. Am I dreaming? Is this a prank?
Sho slowly took his lips off from mine and I looked up at him. “Why?” I whispered to him. He wrapped his arms around me and muttered in my ear.
“It was when we both met each other at a television building. You didn’t talk to anyone and kept your head down. I could tell you were really shy but when we appeared on the same show, you displayed a different face. So I was curious and intrigued about you so I started to watch all the shows you appeared on. Slowly over time I became a fan of yours and then that’s how I started to develop feelings for you. I can still remember the first time we encountered each other was during backstage of Music Station. I didn’t know where my microphone went and it was you who gave me yours. You said. ‘Take mine. You’re performing first. I can always get another one from the staff.’ I grabbed your microphone and you quickly dashed off to find a microphone to use. I can never forget your considerate and kind heart.”
I blushed and started chuckling. “Wow, you really know me well and you remembered something that I don’t even remember. You must be my number one fan.” I joked and Sho started to chuckle.
“Kiyomi! Where are you?” I heard my mother calling out in the distance. Sho slowly slipped his arms off around me and stared right into my eyes. I stared back at him and kissed him on the cheek. “Arigato. Maybe I was right, about you being my type.”
“Kiyomi, there you are.” My mother sighed and rolled her eyes as she walked towards us, and then she placed her cell phone that she was holding back into her purse.
“Kiyomi-chan, we have to hurry to the next show…” My mother trailed off as she lowered her head to look at where my hands were, my hand was gripping tightly onto Sho’s. I looked up at Sho, I assumed that he knew that I was afraid to confront my mother.
“Kiyomi-chan, why are you…” Before my mother finished what she was saying, I interrupted her. “Okaasan, I know that we made a deal that I won’t have any romantic relationships with anyone but I don’t want my life to be that way. I was change myself. Instead of always lying myself in front of the camera, I want to be the person that I created. I want to be talkative, outspoken and outgoing on camera and even in my private life. I finally found someone that I can be my true self with. Sho-kun helped me realize this. I hope that you are okay with that.”
My mother sighed and folded her arms. I glanced at Sho and he had a scared look on his face. I looked at my mother and gradually a small smile appeared on her face.
“Finally.” She muttered. I furrowed my eyebrows and said. “Eh?” I was confused about what my mother said. Why did she say ‘Finally’?
“I was beginning to worry that you developed a cold heart. I know you’re always shy and you would never say no to me. I’m glad that you found someone that you can be with. Even though both of you guys are idols, I hope the only rumor I hear is that you’re getting married. But that will be an option for both of you a few years later.” My mother smirked and turned her head towards Sho.
“I hope you will be able to love and protect Kiyomi whole-heartily.” My mother said with a smile and started to walk away from us. “I’ll leave you guys alone for a few minutes but Kiyomi, after your chat with Sakurai-san you go straight back to the dressing room. “ I nodded my head to her and she vanished.
I took off my grip from Sho’s hand but he still kept holding onto it. “Arigato Sho-kun, I was so nervous about her reaction. I didn’t expect her to allow me to be with you.” Sho smiled and kissed me on the lips.
I thought that my appearance on Arashi no Shukudai-kun, I would just talk and promote my single and movie. But who would expected that I would also find love and become confident to tell my mother that I want to have a romantic relationship with Sho.
Are you the quiet and shy person or are you the outgoing and talkative person? Well I figured out that I’m both.