Thank you to everyone for your comments in the previous chapter/post. (>ω<*)ノノ I'm happy to know that everyone is anticipating what happens next to Yuki. At this point she is in her depression period, will anything worse happen to her?
-Yuki was about to confess to Aiba about her feelings and the truth that she has been hiding from him. However when she met Aiba, she noticed Aiba's weird expression. When she was going to communicate to Aiba using her phone, Aiba grabbed it and smashed it onto the floor, which broke into pieces. Yuki was confused and suddenly he threw a piece of paper that cut her cheek. Yuki picked up the paper and was shocked that what she was hiding was revealed to him. Angry and frustrated Aiba told her that he would never see her again. At the end of the chapter, Yuki gets back her voice but is left alone and regretful. What will Yuki do now that she has lost trust in Aiba? Will anything else block Yuki in her way to happiness?
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Chapter 18
“Yuki-chan? Yuki-chan?” I heard someone calling my name. I slowly opened my eyes to see faces hovering above me. “Where am I?” I muttered and slowly straightened my back. “You got your voice back. I’m glad.” Sho said and I looked around to see all of the members of Arashi except Aiba crowding around me.
“How did I get here?” I asked soft like a whisper. Suddenly flashback of memories rushed into my head. I was going to meet Aiba and he was angry with me. Then he showed me a newspaper clip and a note. I found out that he found out the truth…
“Where is Aiba-san?” I asked with some trembling in my voice. Arashi looked at me curiously and Nino said. “Aiba-kun had another shooting so he’s going to be late today. Why?” I shot my head at Nino and bit my lip. “Ah, nothing. Just wondering.” I lied; I didn’t want them to find out the reason why I wanted to see him.
I got up from the sofa that I was laying on and quickly grabbed my glasses and hat that were laying beside me. I began to stagger out from their dressing room that they had placed me to rest. “Where are you going Yuki-chan?” Sho asked with a worried look. I made a small smile to them and left without tell them that I was heading back to the studio.
I had to pick up the shattered pieces of my cell phone.
As I walked in the hallways, glares and stares were on me again. I lowered my head and adjusted my glasses as I bit my lip as I continued to walk. Now I felt like my previous self before I slowly began to open myself to others. I was back to step 1.
I reached the studio and opened the doors to see the cleaners. I widened my eyes and quickly looked around. I couldn’t see my shattered pieces of my cell phone on the floor. They must have cleaned it. I approached a cleaner and asked. “Did you see pieces of a cell phone on the floor?”
“You mean the small bits of pieces of an electronic device? I don’t think you can use it… It’s impossible to repair it if it was yours. Trust me, no one can ever fix it again and it’s cheaper to buy a new one than repairing it.” The cleaner dragged the cart out of the studio and I fell down to the floor. Cheaper? I had spent five months of my paycheck to buy that and now I can never use it now since Aiba smashed it.
But I’m kind of happy that at least I got my voice back. I don’t need the application on that phone to be able to communicate with others.
“You rushed out of the dressing room just to come here?” Jun said as he slowly approached me. I turned my head towards him and noticed that he was carrying a first-aid kit in his right hand. “It’s for that cut on your face.” Jun said as he used his left hand to point to a place where my cut was on my cheek on his.
I furrowed my eyebrow and raised my hand to my cheek. I slid my hand to feel a crust of blood and I widened my eyes as I remembered that I got it when Aiba threw the paper at my face.
Jun let out a small sigh and he walked up to me. Then he bent down beside me to place the first-aid kit on the floor. He began to search for some cream and a Band-Aid from the first-aid kit.
“Why was I in your dressing room earlier?” I asked curiously as I couldn’t remember anything about walking towards their dressing room. Jun unwrapped the Band-Aid from its wrapper and he applied some cream on his finger to put over my cut.
“The four of us were looking for you because Nino-kun wanted to thank you for helping out with his personal issue which he still hasn’t told us anything about it. He wanted to treat you and he invited us, which hardly happens. So we all agreed to tag along and once we were in the studio, we saw you unconscious on the floor. We wanted to take you to the hospital but you didn’t have a fever or look sick. You just looked like you just fell asleep so I carried you to our dressing room. By the way, you lost a lot of weight from the last time I carried you.” Jun said and I slowly nodded my head. After he put the cream over my cut, then he stuck on a Band-Aid on top of it.
“When we found you, we also found a note lying beside you. Is it true that…” Jun trailed off. If he saw that note then he knows the truth… Then that means the others know about it too.
I bit my lower lip and turned my head away. What should I do now? Should I lie and tell him it’s just a joke but Aiba’s actions towards me is hard to cover up so the only thing I can do is confess. Maybe when this is over, I should hand in my resignation letter that I had wanted to give to Yamashita-san a few months ago when Aiba and Jun knew of my existence.
I pursed my lips and kept quiet. I don’t like talking about that emotional subject especially to someone who wasn’t a part of it.
“Didn’t you tell me that being able to communicate with others is a way to resolve things? I think if you are able to open up yourself to someone then you’ll be able to lessen what you’re holding in your heart. But if you’re not ready then we’ll wait until you’re strong enough.” Nino said and behind him was Sho and Ohno with smiles on their faces.
Suddenly I couldn’t hold back and let out my tears. “That note… It’s true. I was the cause of Aiba’s sister’s death. I drove my brother to become the way he is now.” I grieved.
“So that news article and that note… Everything is true?” Sho asked. I sadly nodded my head and began to sniffle. Jun then handed me a handkerchief to use. “It’s a long story. But I’m willing to tell you if you’re willing to listen…”
Arashi kept quiet and never spoke out as I told them my story. Maybe they were thinking of a way that we could resolve this problem between the two of us.
Nino, Sho and Ohno bent down to my eye level and started to pat me on the head and back. They were giving me the comfort that I needed the most.
~*~It has been a week since I told Arashi about my past. They promised to keep it a secret from everyone including Aiba. However when I happen to see them in the station, they would give me piety smiles and try to cheer me up like saying I did an awesome job at the shooting, or they would hand me a can of juice during the breaks. But somehow the distance between us became uncomfortable and weird. It didn’t feel the same as when it was before Aiba found out about the truth.
As for Aiba… When we happen to meet each other, he would ignore and run away from me. I always wanted to stop him and apologize but I never got the chance. Also I had felt bad when I saw him, so I was on the verge of quitting this part-time job and moving to a small island near Okinawa. I would be able to get away from my whole life.
However there is one thing that is stopping me from doing that and that is my brother. I don’t want to leave him behind like what my parents did to me.
On a bright and sunny day in June, I decided to visit my brother again and this time, I brought Sora along because I promised him that I would take him along if I went to visit my brother.
“Arigato for coming with me Sora-kun. Maybe this time I won’t have any difficulties in making him eat his lunch.” I said in an apologetic tone. Sora giggled and nodded his head to me. “Don’t worry. I’ll force him to eat if he doesn’t. I still remember that he would throw out the carrots that you made in his bento boxes for lunch when we were still in high school.”
I widened my eyes and said. “Oh, how did you know I made his bento boxes?” I was surprised he knew that fact. I never told my brother that I made his lunches. He always assumed that it was my mother who made it. My mother was terrible with making kawaii bento boxes.
“Ah, he told me. He was happy and ecstatic everyday when it was lunchtime.” I slowly nodded my head and both of us approached his room. I took a deep breath and then opened the doors. Every time I come and visit him, he would look so scared and depressed. Actually I'm always nervous when I was alone with him.
I forced a smile on my face and searched for him. He was on his bed and he slowly turned his head towards us. I stepped forward and shouted. “Oni-chan! I made lunch for you.” I held up the wrapped bento box for him to see.
I closely examined his face and quickly he widened his eyes. He began to look even more scared and suddenly he began to shout at me. “STAY AWAY FROM ME!” He hid under his covers and I could see him trembling under the sheets.
My heart began to ache and the bento box slipped from my hand. It made a huge breaking noise as it hit the floor. From that moment, I felt like my soul floated away from my body. Now I’m just an empty shell. No one is by my side anymore.
~I made mistakes about what I wanted to tell you in those days
If I could go back, I'd want to go back right this instant…
I realized if I had just been honest, there would have been only one answer
I should have called out to you when my voice could still reach
Words of love that aimlessly go on~ (Flashback)
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A/N: Did anyone expect this to happen? (^ω^)V The last few sentences of this chapter are commonly seen (in my opinion) in Arashi songs. XP As always, I will be posting the next chapter next week but I'm afraid more of the water works will be continuing into the next chapter. (。-_-。)