Blank Walls
I hung those circle, framed mirrors on the bedroom wall tonight.. It really validates that wall, I think. We have too many blank walls in this place. I'd really like to finish setting up the apartment, considering that we've been here for almost 4 months now, 3 together.
3 months... Geez. Our wedding feels like ages ago. And your text this morning about your office decorating for Christmas.... To think that at this time last year, I was pulling a prank on your desk to welcome you back from Orlando. I took your picture with Adam to make stockings for HR and IT. We had only just had one week of truly revealing correspondence. Oh the butterflies I had in my stomach at every e-mail from Aaron Stough that I saw in my inbox. What joy and energy I had all day just from contact with you. I still felt a little bit like a fifth grader who didn't know how to talk to boys whenever we spoke face to face and made eye contact. This is also the week I told you that, while you were in Orlando, I found out I wasn't accepted to Pismo Beach YWAM, and that I would be in Roanoke afterall come January 2010. I guess this is when it suddenly got complicated for you. Reality caught up to you. Seeds of procrastination and avoidance were now reeping a harvest of limited options, collision, and misplaced blame.
This week last year I was still only wishing I could share experiences with you. I remember that you were constantly on my mind. I remember thinking what a surprisingly perfect pair we'd probably make since it seemed that almost anything I thought of doing or anything I wanted to converse about or anything I felt like investigating, would somehow interest you just as much. Very soon I would find myself frustrated that none of this was possible. It only made sense for us to explore life together.
Today you've dealt with quite a load of tough questions from me about this time last year on to March. Thank you for allowing me that. And thank you for coming around and seeing what I needed you to see. I can't wait to see you tonight. Miss you.
3 months... Geez. Our wedding feels like ages ago. And your text this morning about your office decorating for Christmas.... To think that at this time last year, I was pulling a prank on your desk to welcome you back from Orlando. I took your picture with Adam to make stockings for HR and IT. We had only just had one week of truly revealing correspondence. Oh the butterflies I had in my stomach at every e-mail from Aaron Stough that I saw in my inbox. What joy and energy I had all day just from contact with you. I still felt a little bit like a fifth grader who didn't know how to talk to boys whenever we spoke face to face and made eye contact. This is also the week I told you that, while you were in Orlando, I found out I wasn't accepted to Pismo Beach YWAM, and that I would be in Roanoke afterall come January 2010. I guess this is when it suddenly got complicated for you. Reality caught up to you. Seeds of procrastination and avoidance were now reeping a harvest of limited options, collision, and misplaced blame.
This week last year I was still only wishing I could share experiences with you. I remember that you were constantly on my mind. I remember thinking what a surprisingly perfect pair we'd probably make since it seemed that almost anything I thought of doing or anything I wanted to converse about or anything I felt like investigating, would somehow interest you just as much. Very soon I would find myself frustrated that none of this was possible. It only made sense for us to explore life together.
Today you've dealt with quite a load of tough questions from me about this time last year on to March. Thank you for allowing me that. And thank you for coming around and seeing what I needed you to see. I can't wait to see you tonight. Miss you.