(no subject)
ive been having a lot of thoughts lately....lots of random ones.
for example, i saw an old friend drive by bba the other day...thought of all the good times that we used to have together, and realized that i missed her in my life. i took advantage of the friendship we had. i didnt realize when she called me everyday and wanted to hang out everyday, that it was a good sign, a sign of best friends....and i threw it aside. at that time, i thought my life was too busy, i didnt want to see her everyday. and now, just to have that person back in my life, to talk to everyday, would be wonderful. i actually got the balls to call her, and sure enough...i didnt have her number in my phonebook. i havent had it since i got my new phone. and i also thought that since we were off and on friends so often over the past 5 years, maybe she'd call me, like she used to...but shes been firm and not given in...that, or she lost my number too. it was simpler in high school...if u got into it with a friend there, u saw em everyday and eventually u'd start talking again....now that we arent in school...we never do see each other to even realize things like this. i really want to get ahold of her.
and also, ive looked back on people i do miss o sooo much...like garrod. we used to hang out like almost everyday...we went to the mall, went to dq, did everything. and i miss your friendship...even tho we are still friends, i miss seeing u.
i feel like i have put some block around me. ive baracaded myself bc i dont want to get hurt anymore. there are so many people i hold dear to my heart, but yet i dont call them anymore. why? maybe its been so long and honestly, i dont know what to say anymore besides i miss u.
somehow im creating this urge for a need....ive lost my best friend, and so far, i cant fill that void. i want to desperately. i have josh, and he will always be my best friend....but i want some girls back in my life. i want to have more slumber parties at my house. i want to get drunk with more than like 2 people. this all ties in i guess with the one person i miss the most.
i dont know what to do. i never see her anywhere online, so no communication available there...and honestly, i dont feel like walking up to her house and just knock on the door like everythings fine.
i really would like some help...the only problem is, i dont know who to ask.
i hate this so called "real world"...bc after so long u lose touch with so many people. i only hang out and talk to the ones i see everyday. my friends are a special few ive held onto since high school and the people i work with.
for example, i saw an old friend drive by bba the other day...thought of all the good times that we used to have together, and realized that i missed her in my life. i took advantage of the friendship we had. i didnt realize when she called me everyday and wanted to hang out everyday, that it was a good sign, a sign of best friends....and i threw it aside. at that time, i thought my life was too busy, i didnt want to see her everyday. and now, just to have that person back in my life, to talk to everyday, would be wonderful. i actually got the balls to call her, and sure enough...i didnt have her number in my phonebook. i havent had it since i got my new phone. and i also thought that since we were off and on friends so often over the past 5 years, maybe she'd call me, like she used to...but shes been firm and not given in...that, or she lost my number too. it was simpler in high school...if u got into it with a friend there, u saw em everyday and eventually u'd start talking again....now that we arent in school...we never do see each other to even realize things like this. i really want to get ahold of her.
and also, ive looked back on people i do miss o sooo much...like garrod. we used to hang out like almost everyday...we went to the mall, went to dq, did everything. and i miss your friendship...even tho we are still friends, i miss seeing u.
i feel like i have put some block around me. ive baracaded myself bc i dont want to get hurt anymore. there are so many people i hold dear to my heart, but yet i dont call them anymore. why? maybe its been so long and honestly, i dont know what to say anymore besides i miss u.
somehow im creating this urge for a need....ive lost my best friend, and so far, i cant fill that void. i want to desperately. i have josh, and he will always be my best friend....but i want some girls back in my life. i want to have more slumber parties at my house. i want to get drunk with more than like 2 people. this all ties in i guess with the one person i miss the most.
i dont know what to do. i never see her anywhere online, so no communication available there...and honestly, i dont feel like walking up to her house and just knock on the door like everythings fine.
i really would like some help...the only problem is, i dont know who to ask.
i hate this so called "real world"...bc after so long u lose touch with so many people. i only hang out and talk to the ones i see everyday. my friends are a special few ive held onto since high school and the people i work with.