Mid-School Year Check in
Midwinter is upon us. Looking back through my Livejournal, I can see that Midwinter can traditionally be a low time for me, let's hope I survive this one. Also looking back through my entries I realized I how involved I was with Stephanie, the pain lasted so long I pretty much forgot or pushed out the good times. I just realized recently how big of an effect that and everything leading to it had on me. Starting College is hard enough by itself, add to that a drawn out re-dumping and it can seriously mess with one's self perception. I also realized I was still reeling from it all and quite frankly the whole damn year even though I've been LOOOONG past it. I was wallowing in some major self loathing and depression, and trying to figure out why. I've been stuck in this rut of selling myself short and being afraid and ashamed to be me. Well no more!
The past year was a weird mix of stuff. Supreme highs and bottomless lows, a nauseating rollercoaster.
I hope this year goes well, there will be writing, learning, working, travelling and that's all I know. I gotta write some scenes in the next few days. I'm going to ACTF again this year, this time in Wyoming and this time as a competitor.
Every love is new, and exploring it is really fun and wonderful, and also really terrifying and scary. I've fallen into a pit of anxiety, but I'm climbing out of it. It's all quite exciting, going into uncharted territory, but it's another reason to make sure my confidence is up to snuff.
Live Journal. Pah! Farewell until the next inventory search!
The past year was a weird mix of stuff. Supreme highs and bottomless lows, a nauseating rollercoaster.
I hope this year goes well, there will be writing, learning, working, travelling and that's all I know. I gotta write some scenes in the next few days. I'm going to ACTF again this year, this time in Wyoming and this time as a competitor.
Every love is new, and exploring it is really fun and wonderful, and also really terrifying and scary. I've fallen into a pit of anxiety, but I'm climbing out of it. It's all quite exciting, going into uncharted territory, but it's another reason to make sure my confidence is up to snuff.
Live Journal. Pah! Farewell until the next inventory search!