Starts coherent, ends...
So I love that even in emails where I theoretically have all the time in the world to compose my words and say what I want to say and how I want to say it they still come put just as awkward and gawky as though I had spoken them which as we all know is me at my least eloquent. I remember being in HOTA last year, Adrian and I were talking sometime in the autumn and we couldn't hear each other and we decided we should figure out how to communicate like bees, i.e. via dancing. As we all know my dancing is just as awkward as my speaking and writing if not more so but who knows? Maybe that's how I communicate most effectively. So from here on out I will work on speaking through dance. Anybody interested in joining my swingin' lingo is by all means invited to do so, just don't say hello to me, dance at me instead, then I'll know and I'll dance a chipper "What, ho!" Right back atcha.
Anywho, this came up after writing a couple emails today. One of them was to Tim True the amazing actor who has most recently brilliantly performed in Number Three and The Pillowman. What a man. I wanted to thank him for his performances and also to ask him a question about something in Pillowman that's been eating at me and that I can't seem to find an answer to. I'm excited to possibly hear back from him. I might just pee my pants.
Speaking of pants it's time to move on. Shorts. Fun Pants. Commando. Whatever! The weather needs to allow me to make the change! Last time I tried to whip out the shorts the weather spurned me.
Stupid spurning.
I'm tired of it.
I suppose it's all just a state of mind.
I guess...
However that applies.
DONE WITH CLEVELAND!!! And EVERYTHING that Cleveland Means! I want to leave! Why won't you let me go! College is right there! If I look out the window I can see it, literally! LET ME OUTTA HERE! CONOR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!?! GET YOURSELF OUT OF STUFF LIKE THIS!!!! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO STICK AROUND!!!! GET OUT!!!!
Don't be surprised if I don't come back from the Ashland trip.
I'm tired of those halls and those classes and those people and those smells and the negativity and the prison! I try to not let it get to me but there are so many things that do their best to get to me, some things that I start thinking are important, some things that are very important to me, that have been very important to me. I don't want it anymore. I'm done!
Well at least. But I couldn't. No never. But maybe if. No. No. Not at all.
I got to see Drew today for a brief few minutes. Man was that cool. I haven't seen him since last spring. I wish we had connected more during our time together since middle school. There was plenty for us to connect with but we just never did or could or something... I dunno. Too bad. But I certainly enjoyed seeing him again.
I will become a spectre. I already am. To some. Maybe. I'm not at all sure now that I think about it. What am I even saying? If you know, you should tell me.
Maybe if I went through the school day with a blindfold on. And earplugs/phones.
Nothing I try seems to work. Maybe I should stop trying.
Yoda would be proud...
And just do.
Four more chances. Then I die. Apparently. Or so I'm told. But I've been told many things by many people in my day, and in my experience being told something means near nothing. But the fact remains; I could very well be sleeping with the fishes. Would it matter to people? Who? That wasn't a suicidal thought, don't worry, just a passing flash of thought and curiosity.
Just stories.
Four more? Then they will be such a four as to make the earth tremble and hearts tremor.
Difficult.
Worthwhile?
Dunno.
Four more?
Let's hope so.
More?
Who knows?
Sounds like you've got enough to go on.
More than enough.
Let's hit it.
Anywho, this came up after writing a couple emails today. One of them was to Tim True the amazing actor who has most recently brilliantly performed in Number Three and The Pillowman. What a man. I wanted to thank him for his performances and also to ask him a question about something in Pillowman that's been eating at me and that I can't seem to find an answer to. I'm excited to possibly hear back from him. I might just pee my pants.
Speaking of pants it's time to move on. Shorts. Fun Pants. Commando. Whatever! The weather needs to allow me to make the change! Last time I tried to whip out the shorts the weather spurned me.
Stupid spurning.
I'm tired of it.
I suppose it's all just a state of mind.
I guess...
However that applies.
DONE WITH CLEVELAND!!! And EVERYTHING that Cleveland Means! I want to leave! Why won't you let me go! College is right there! If I look out the window I can see it, literally! LET ME OUTTA HERE! CONOR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!?! GET YOURSELF OUT OF STUFF LIKE THIS!!!! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO STICK AROUND!!!! GET OUT!!!!
Don't be surprised if I don't come back from the Ashland trip.
I'm tired of those halls and those classes and those people and those smells and the negativity and the prison! I try to not let it get to me but there are so many things that do their best to get to me, some things that I start thinking are important, some things that are very important to me, that have been very important to me. I don't want it anymore. I'm done!
Well at least. But I couldn't. No never. But maybe if. No. No. Not at all.
I got to see Drew today for a brief few minutes. Man was that cool. I haven't seen him since last spring. I wish we had connected more during our time together since middle school. There was plenty for us to connect with but we just never did or could or something... I dunno. Too bad. But I certainly enjoyed seeing him again.
I will become a spectre. I already am. To some. Maybe. I'm not at all sure now that I think about it. What am I even saying? If you know, you should tell me.
Maybe if I went through the school day with a blindfold on. And earplugs/phones.
Nothing I try seems to work. Maybe I should stop trying.
Yoda would be proud...
And just do.
Four more chances. Then I die. Apparently. Or so I'm told. But I've been told many things by many people in my day, and in my experience being told something means near nothing. But the fact remains; I could very well be sleeping with the fishes. Would it matter to people? Who? That wasn't a suicidal thought, don't worry, just a passing flash of thought and curiosity.
Just stories.
Four more? Then they will be such a four as to make the earth tremble and hearts tremor.
Difficult.
Worthwhile?
Dunno.
Four more?
Let's hope so.
More?
Who knows?
Sounds like you've got enough to go on.
More than enough.
Let's hit it.