I want to go home now
I want the heck off of this bloody island. I honestly cannot stand one more day here, and I have 6 left. I miss Ashley, I miss Emily, I miss Sean... I miss all my friends back at CMU... I miss food that isn't distributed by f-ing SYSCO. I want out.
Work sucks. I once again get stuck with all the crappy "bitch work" while everyone else takes thier sweet time slicing cheesecake or whatnot. The only good part about work is that at lunch and dinner dishes are done by 3 student workers... one of which... UGH!!! Plus, even though they re doign dishes, this still leaves pots and pans. Guess who gets stuck doign them most of the time? Oh, and I still bring in the food, and put it away. I know this is apart of my job but, I HATE IT!
I am sick of the people up here. I use to love them and think of them as friends, but now I see that I never really was a friend- just a piece of ass or whatever. I miss my real freinds. I miss you guys. I feel so diconnected and so far away. I am. I feel so lost without you. Words can't express my anger, my hurt, my sadness right now. I just feel so alone. I need you guys right now. Please tell me you are still there and will be when I get back.
I feel like being up here has been a waste of my summer. I could be at home, sleeping in... in my own bed next to my puppy, babysitting, paddle boating with Wei, going on adventures with Emily, hanging out with my BFF Ashley, partying with my Pooty Girl Katie, spending time with Sean.... But no. Instead I am stuck on an Island 6 hours away from home with a bunch of people who act liek they are my friends but really aren't. I am stuck in a place where I wake up at 5, come back to my mesely unit. sleep thru lunch, go back to work at 3:30, come back to the unit and just stare blankly at the computer screen searching for some sign of civilization outside this shithole that is my world.
Life doesn't sound that bad to you guiys, I know. Who wouldn'tr want to live on a pretty island way the hell away from saburbia? That seems kind of nice, right? Who wouldnt want to work from 5-9AM, have a break and work again form 3:30-7:30 PM, in a kitchen. Soudns pretty good, right? And who woudln't want to live on a lake all summer with new faces and friends? Seems kinda cool, right? NO. I can't take this anymore people. I need the hell out.
I know I chose this. I know I wanted to get away. I'm sorry, ok? I MADE A MISTAKE AND I AM SORRY FOR IT.
This expereince hasn't been all bad. I have my good days. Bon fires are fun, volleyball is a blast... Some people are nice. Well, just last week after I passed out Treavor said he was sorry he is never nice to me. Ever since then,. I have seen him in a new light. But it is all so miniscuel. The bad out number the good. I am burned out. Tired. Ca-put. Done. I am ready to go home now.
Going to sleep. Seem to be doing a lot of that lately... what was that quote from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? " Let them sleep. In dreams we are in a world that is entirely our own. Let them climb the highest mountains, let them..... " something. Let me sleep, and tell me that everythign will be okay int he morning.
Later days,
Lauren
Work sucks. I once again get stuck with all the crappy "bitch work" while everyone else takes thier sweet time slicing cheesecake or whatnot. The only good part about work is that at lunch and dinner dishes are done by 3 student workers... one of which... UGH!!! Plus, even though they re doign dishes, this still leaves pots and pans. Guess who gets stuck doign them most of the time? Oh, and I still bring in the food, and put it away. I know this is apart of my job but, I HATE IT!
I am sick of the people up here. I use to love them and think of them as friends, but now I see that I never really was a friend- just a piece of ass or whatever. I miss my real freinds. I miss you guys. I feel so diconnected and so far away. I am. I feel so lost without you. Words can't express my anger, my hurt, my sadness right now. I just feel so alone. I need you guys right now. Please tell me you are still there and will be when I get back.
I feel like being up here has been a waste of my summer. I could be at home, sleeping in... in my own bed next to my puppy, babysitting, paddle boating with Wei, going on adventures with Emily, hanging out with my BFF Ashley, partying with my Pooty Girl Katie, spending time with Sean.... But no. Instead I am stuck on an Island 6 hours away from home with a bunch of people who act liek they are my friends but really aren't. I am stuck in a place where I wake up at 5, come back to my mesely unit. sleep thru lunch, go back to work at 3:30, come back to the unit and just stare blankly at the computer screen searching for some sign of civilization outside this shithole that is my world.
Life doesn't sound that bad to you guiys, I know. Who wouldn'tr want to live on a pretty island way the hell away from saburbia? That seems kind of nice, right? Who wouldnt want to work from 5-9AM, have a break and work again form 3:30-7:30 PM, in a kitchen. Soudns pretty good, right? And who woudln't want to live on a lake all summer with new faces and friends? Seems kinda cool, right? NO. I can't take this anymore people. I need the hell out.
I know I chose this. I know I wanted to get away. I'm sorry, ok? I MADE A MISTAKE AND I AM SORRY FOR IT.
This expereince hasn't been all bad. I have my good days. Bon fires are fun, volleyball is a blast... Some people are nice. Well, just last week after I passed out Treavor said he was sorry he is never nice to me. Ever since then,. I have seen him in a new light. But it is all so miniscuel. The bad out number the good. I am burned out. Tired. Ca-put. Done. I am ready to go home now.
Going to sleep. Seem to be doing a lot of that lately... what was that quote from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? " Let them sleep. In dreams we are in a world that is entirely our own. Let them climb the highest mountains, let them..... " something. Let me sleep, and tell me that everythign will be okay int he morning.
Later days,
Lauren