Broken, Bitter Hearts
Lately I've been struggling a lot with certain things. Family, friends, God, work... everything has seemed to either fall apart or come together at once. The boy that I did like (see Alex? I'm over him!) is now mostly in love with my sister. Honestly, most of my problems seem to center around my sister. I love her to death, but she's just so... there aren't even words. She is beautiful and vivacious and gregarious - and every single boy I have ever liked has fallen for her at some point. It is hard.... but I've recently decided that I can't be bitter about it. It only hurts me and my relationships to be bitter and angry about it. I can only hope that someday I'll meet a guy who doesn't fall for her first... or start ignoring me for her. I think at the root of everything is the fact that I am jealous of her... and I know that that is wrong, but I just can't seem to help myself. She is like a better, more accomplished, prettier version of me... and I have to see her every day, and know that I will never be that good. And it sucks.