(no subject)
i dont think i could be feeling more emotions rigth now i if i tried. i hate this lonely abandoned feeling, but i know that i am loved by the two best girls in the whole world, i hate the mother lecturething because i know he will not listen to me not matter what. this is bullshit this whole...ugly unwanted thing. it seriously came out of no where. when people say i dont give a shit about anything they have to say or do it makes me want to scream because they know better and then that makes me feel guilty and bitchy because i was an asshole to them and shouldnt have been. im so freaking frusteerated because i am so happy for my friends who deserve what they have been getting the past week or so, but at the same time im not because im not really happy myself. that is a human nature thing. i hate that feeling. i have the feeling in your stomach that makes you want to throw up and scream and cry and run away and punch something and crumble to the floor in a big mess somthered in kleenax and tears. i guess the other thing that just really sets me off is not being wanted. its like....im being slowly returned or exchanged for a whole group of people. i feel kind of alone actually. just me and my ashley and my kylie....i miss those times..they were amazing. i never felt more wonderful then when i was with them. i probably will never get that with anyone else because they are so wonderful. i feel so stupid because i am so overwhelmed and it just hit me in the past like hour. i cleaned a ton of shit up in my room because i felt so...low. just low. thats a good word for all of these emotions. low.
sometimes you know that youve done something good and you knw that you deserve better, but you cant say anything because that would be cocky right? i hate that too...what ever it is called.
the rain today felt good. its like.....i cried all day but my cheeks never got wet.
this is just really shitty.
abberz8806: so we must both just be poop huh?
KissTheGirl06: basically
abberz8806: i love you poopy
KissTheGirl06: i love you too poopy
sometimes you know that youve done something good and you knw that you deserve better, but you cant say anything because that would be cocky right? i hate that too...what ever it is called.
the rain today felt good. its like.....i cried all day but my cheeks never got wet.
this is just really shitty.
abberz8806: so we must both just be poop huh?
KissTheGirl06: basically
abberz8806: i love you poopy
KissTheGirl06: i love you too poopy