seniors '05
so these past few weeks and especially this past weekend is starting to make me realize that i don't have that much time left in high school or even in peoria ... like at snowball when people would ask if i was coming back next year or day by day seniors having a countdown till the last day of school or till graduation (yes i admit i have one in my planner too which is also a reminder) and especially to bittle - she left me a warm fuzzy (snowball thing) in my bag that said something about 'i'm gunna miss you so much next year so i don't think you should leave me!' ... i hate thinking about but yet i love it ... i'm gunna hate the fact that i'm not gunna have that comfort zone that high school is - it's a bunch of people you've spent 4 years with and have made some amazing friendships with - in college i especially won't have that - i'm most likely going to WIU and i don't think ne one is really going there at least people i don't really hang out with - i'm gunna be the girl with a random roommate (which i'm scared outta my mind about) and the girl who doesn't know ne one -- i mean i know a million students will be in the same situation but it's gunna be hard and i hate thinking about it. i keep telling myself that it'll be good for me to meet new people and not be around alotta people i know and that know me really well and that i should create other friendships with people. And also theirs the concept of leaving my friends behind - i know i'll still stay friends with everyone but whether we will keep in touch as often is the question. before i go off to college i want to be able to know that when i'm upset or homesick or missing my friends that they'll be there for me that i can call one of them up and nothing will be awkward and they will still call me and everything will be okay. i hate thinking that i won't keep in touch with alot of people. i'm honestly gunna miss high school - i mean as many amazing things i can think of about going to college i'm just scared. I can't believe i'm already 18 years old and a senior in highschool in my last few months of it and going off to college in the fall. growing up is a scary thought. i kno this sounds weird but i feel very very unpreprared for college like i feel like i should have everything i need right now and i don't - it's so annoying! and i feel like i'm not old enough which may sound strange but as me and megan say we need to literally get taller before we go haha we're not tall enough to go to college hahaha ... but seriously - i mean as you all kno i already look like i'm 12 basically i don't even look my age - everyone is gunna be like aww does ur older brother or sister go here?? - yea that'd be fun to deal with! ... wow ... i have soooo many thoughts running through my head and i kno ur prolly sick of reading this if u even are but i just had to get that out - there's so many more thoughts in my head but i'll stop or else this might be the longest live journal ever haha ... peace out :)