38 days later...
I just had the best talk with my mom and stepdad. Each night, they sit in my living room and watch a variety of televisions shows, mostly academic ones about interesting topics. My stepfather is so learned, it is amazing. I have lived in his house for 6 years now (I think...) and as time passes, I learn more and more about him. My mom is awesome as well =), I just talk to her a lot more.
I started out the conversation by telling him that Drew loved him and his taste in things. I came to realize that there are definite similarities between him and Drew. A passion for learning, for one thing. An admiration for obscure and interesting authors, films, etc. I love that my family loves my friends... all of them. My mom always mentions this, but my stepdad actually said it tonight which just satisfied me in a unique way. I feel increasingly like an adult with my parents, and it makes my life more dynamic at a time where I feel lost in the confusion of lifes decisions and outcome.
This weekend was a really good one, looking back on the ones I have had lately. It felt long at one point but now feels short. It is interesting to me that few people have posted about it =), but I really have wanted to write an entry for a while, so I forewarn that this might be a long one. Stay with me if you will =)
Since I haven't updated in a while,
Highlights from last week:
- finding out on Monday that I got into Furman, doing a Furman dance with Jessica, and spending the afternoon with Jess and Linz
- having Drew over to watch American Idol with my family and it feeling so amazingly comfortable
- shopping at the thrift store for two hours with JMac =)
- actually feeling motivated to do schoolwork
(The motivation to do schoolwork, however, has mysteriously disappeared just now as there is nothing I want to do less than study for my Psych test =)
Anyways, for anyone that is still unsure about my college scene, there have been some big changes this past week. Each day, I have gotten more excited and real about Furman, the university I will most likely attend in the Fall. My mom is so excited and can't STOP talking about it =) It is hard to describe the feelins I have toward it. I almost feel like I am waiting, but I'm not sure what for. It has been such an unexpected joy, however, to tell people for the first time this week that Furman is the school I think I will be attending. There have been mixed reactions, of course. My close friends have known about the background for months, so it is not as much of a surprise to them, but for some reason I have loved telling people that didn't know much about it. I think part of the excitement stems from having a college, any college, to talk about and feel secure about, but part of the excitement is stemming from Furman itself. We are not at full throttle, though, not yet at 100%. This journal will hopefully progress in the process as we all find out the news we've been waiting for for months, years.
On Friday night, I lay in Lindsay's bed as we talked in the wee hours about life, career, decisions, people... It was one of the greatest talks I've had in a while. It wasn't unusually profound or exciting, but it was so real. I found myself listening to Lindsay with a keen admiration. She spoke with the mind of an adult thinking about real life. It is hard to describe. Spending time with her and Jess this weekend proved incredibly refreshing. Life is so hectic right now, with so many looming decision making challenges, frustrating ambiguities, etc, and I find hope in the security in these two pillars in my life. I don't know what I would do without them.
I have also loved seeing new people as well. It was awesome to see so many cool people at the soccer game on Friday night, and for some reason it amazed me that so many Seniors from every group under the sun were there together.
I was going to write an entry about Eternal Sunshine's surprising impact on me, but now doesn't feel like the time.
Thanks for reading all of this if you did, I just felt like sharing a lot of what has been going on. I got back from a good night at church tonight, had the awesome conversation with my parents that I started off the entry with, and felt compelled to write. I am wondering if I wrote what I was feeling, something I often do when writing, worry too much, but I am trying to be a little more impulsive tonight, see where it takes me.
I found a song this morning while I played a CD while taking a shower that stands as one of my all-time favorites. I want to learn it and embrace it slowly this week. It is by Jami Smith, a Christian female singer I haven't listened to in quite a while. The song is beautiful, and it writes, "Your love is deeper than my view of grace, higher than this worldly place, longer than this road I travel, wider than the gap you filled." The last verse is the most meaningful. Spiritually, I feel indescribable. I crave and beg for clearer meaning this week. It has been a humble week as I have realized just how many times I screw up so well. I am undeserving of the happiness I yearn for. Thats what makes it so confusing =)
I have a feeling these next two weeks are going to be crazy. Give me the strength to face them with solidarity!
"The One with too many thoughts" - JP
I started out the conversation by telling him that Drew loved him and his taste in things. I came to realize that there are definite similarities between him and Drew. A passion for learning, for one thing. An admiration for obscure and interesting authors, films, etc. I love that my family loves my friends... all of them. My mom always mentions this, but my stepdad actually said it tonight which just satisfied me in a unique way. I feel increasingly like an adult with my parents, and it makes my life more dynamic at a time where I feel lost in the confusion of lifes decisions and outcome.
This weekend was a really good one, looking back on the ones I have had lately. It felt long at one point but now feels short. It is interesting to me that few people have posted about it =), but I really have wanted to write an entry for a while, so I forewarn that this might be a long one. Stay with me if you will =)
Since I haven't updated in a while,
Highlights from last week:
- finding out on Monday that I got into Furman, doing a Furman dance with Jessica, and spending the afternoon with Jess and Linz
- having Drew over to watch American Idol with my family and it feeling so amazingly comfortable
- shopping at the thrift store for two hours with JMac =)
- actually feeling motivated to do schoolwork
(The motivation to do schoolwork, however, has mysteriously disappeared just now as there is nothing I want to do less than study for my Psych test =)
Anyways, for anyone that is still unsure about my college scene, there have been some big changes this past week. Each day, I have gotten more excited and real about Furman, the university I will most likely attend in the Fall. My mom is so excited and can't STOP talking about it =) It is hard to describe the feelins I have toward it. I almost feel like I am waiting, but I'm not sure what for. It has been such an unexpected joy, however, to tell people for the first time this week that Furman is the school I think I will be attending. There have been mixed reactions, of course. My close friends have known about the background for months, so it is not as much of a surprise to them, but for some reason I have loved telling people that didn't know much about it. I think part of the excitement stems from having a college, any college, to talk about and feel secure about, but part of the excitement is stemming from Furman itself. We are not at full throttle, though, not yet at 100%. This journal will hopefully progress in the process as we all find out the news we've been waiting for for months, years.
On Friday night, I lay in Lindsay's bed as we talked in the wee hours about life, career, decisions, people... It was one of the greatest talks I've had in a while. It wasn't unusually profound or exciting, but it was so real. I found myself listening to Lindsay with a keen admiration. She spoke with the mind of an adult thinking about real life. It is hard to describe. Spending time with her and Jess this weekend proved incredibly refreshing. Life is so hectic right now, with so many looming decision making challenges, frustrating ambiguities, etc, and I find hope in the security in these two pillars in my life. I don't know what I would do without them.
I have also loved seeing new people as well. It was awesome to see so many cool people at the soccer game on Friday night, and for some reason it amazed me that so many Seniors from every group under the sun were there together.
I was going to write an entry about Eternal Sunshine's surprising impact on me, but now doesn't feel like the time.
Thanks for reading all of this if you did, I just felt like sharing a lot of what has been going on. I got back from a good night at church tonight, had the awesome conversation with my parents that I started off the entry with, and felt compelled to write. I am wondering if I wrote what I was feeling, something I often do when writing, worry too much, but I am trying to be a little more impulsive tonight, see where it takes me.
I found a song this morning while I played a CD while taking a shower that stands as one of my all-time favorites. I want to learn it and embrace it slowly this week. It is by Jami Smith, a Christian female singer I haven't listened to in quite a while. The song is beautiful, and it writes, "Your love is deeper than my view of grace, higher than this worldly place, longer than this road I travel, wider than the gap you filled." The last verse is the most meaningful. Spiritually, I feel indescribable. I crave and beg for clearer meaning this week. It has been a humble week as I have realized just how many times I screw up so well. I am undeserving of the happiness I yearn for. Thats what makes it so confusing =)
I have a feeling these next two weeks are going to be crazy. Give me the strength to face them with solidarity!
"The One with too many thoughts" - JP