[video] And then [text]
[The phone clicks on to show a nondescript black floor, and then a simple chair. On the chair is a Christmas sweater, a rather terrible looking pink Christmas sweater with white lace in all the appropriate places and a bunch of Santa Claus heads on the front. However, the sweater appears to have been cut carefully down the middle, as it is lying slightly open on the chair.]
[A pair of simple scissors sit on the edge of the chair, they look almost harmless really, like children's scissors...but they did the job, apparently. And then the feed clicks off.]
I noticed everyone seems to have been accosted by gaudy, unpleasant sweaters today.
I myself awoke in one, and my attempts to remove it were met with as little success as the rest of you seem to be experiencing.
However, I also found to a pair of scissors that allowed me to free myself from the offending garment when other utensils proved fruitless.
I think perhaps they were designed for that purpose, though why I was chosen to receive them, I can't say.
That said, I believe they will also work on other people's Christmas finery.
And I would be willing to do so.
If you can find some way to make the effort worth my time.
So, taking offers on Freedom from Christmas.
Whether it be something tangible, or an interesting story about yourself, or just a willingness to discuss...things...
All offers will be humored, at least.
And no, I will not come to you.
I would prefer not to have another encounter with the snow goons.
[A pair of simple scissors sit on the edge of the chair, they look almost harmless really, like children's scissors...but they did the job, apparently. And then the feed clicks off.]
I noticed everyone seems to have been accosted by gaudy, unpleasant sweaters today.
I myself awoke in one, and my attempts to remove it were met with as little success as the rest of you seem to be experiencing.
However, I also found to a pair of scissors that allowed me to free myself from the offending garment when other utensils proved fruitless.
I think perhaps they were designed for that purpose, though why I was chosen to receive them, I can't say.
That said, I believe they will also work on other people's Christmas finery.
And I would be willing to do so.
If you can find some way to make the effort worth my time.
So, taking offers on Freedom from Christmas.
Whether it be something tangible, or an interesting story about yourself, or just a willingness to discuss...things...
All offers will be humored, at least.
And no, I will not come to you.
I would prefer not to have another encounter with the snow goons.