(Untitled)

[groovy_mutation]

Characters: Charles Xavier & Erik Lehnsherr
When: Sometime after the event has ended.
Where: The abode of Charles, Erik and the X-Babies.
What: Erik having a difficult time handling things and needing some comfort.
Open or Closed?: Closed
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, bad memories and thoughts possible.

Comments

[token_vengeance]

He couldn't sleep. Every time Erik closed his eyes in the darkness, he saw the young girl he had never been able to save, felt the throbbing of his wrist, and the sicking sense that he had nearly died. Because he hadn't found the solution fast enough. Rukia was fine, now--but not from his own work. There had been teamwork, yes--but he couldn't help but feel if he had been better, stronger, faster...he could have extricated them from the cuffs earlier.

But he hadn't. And if Shaw had been there, Rukia would have lost her hand. A point in failure. Always that.

Getting out of bed, he changed the bandages on his wrist again (torn and huen, a bleeding mess), before slowly moving out of his bedroom toward Charles's.

He had no right to knock; no right to wake him.

But he found that he needed something, right now. Erik just wanted something small--to eek some comfort out of someone who might give it.

Letting out a breath, and adjusting his pajama bottoms (the only thing he wore), he knocked on the door, before peaking his head in."...

[groovy_mutation]

The knock doesn't wake him, his name being called into the dark of his room stirs him. Partially awake it's the guilt that has him fully coming to. Erik's guilt is heavy and he finds it difficult to feel it as he rolls over, rubbing sleepy eyes to peer towards his door in the dark.

"Mm? ... Erik? What is it? Something the matter?"

[token_vengeance]

"...I can't sleep."

Even as it leaves his lips, Erik realizes how stupid it sounds. Like some child, coming to their mother for comfort. Letting out a sigh, he still enters the room, running a hand through his hair. The door closes behind him, and still he's moving forward, edging to the bed.

"Just--"

He looked down, shaking his head.

"--I just don't want to be alone."

Such a simple thing. Such a hard thing to voice.

[groovy_mutation]

Charles will slowly sit up as Erik makes his way over, as he seems to struggle with simple words to express himself. What he wants, needs. Tugging at the flannel nightshirt he's wearing, fixing it really a bit crooked from moving around in bed, he'll then reach out to rest a hand on Erik's cheek, thumb gentle as it strokes it.

"You're not alone, Erik."

A tired smile, warm, understanding. And his hands will linger, before dropping and he'll scoot back a bit, making room on the bed for Erik to join him. Laying down and making himself comfortable he'll look up at his friend, expectant for him to do the same.

[token_vengeance]

"And how you're always here to remind me." Erik gave Charles a weak smile, leaning into the touch slightly. Despite his exhaustion, the pain in his wrist, in the rest of his body as it recovers, he has this desperate thrum of energy. That edgy sort that seems not to leave.

Climbing into bed, he tangles his legs with Charles's, wraps an arm around a waist, pressing his face against the crook of shoulder and neck, just breathing in. It's desperate, pathetic, but he can't help it. A shudder sounds through is body as he holds in, just taking in the warmth provided.

It's selfish, to want this. But he can't stop himself.

[groovy_mutation]

It feels as if Erik would crawl inside him right now if he could. Charles can only wait until Erik settles before he can bring his arms up, awkwardly hug him. It reminded him of nights that Raven had nightmares, would run to his room and jump into bed with him.

Curl against him as if it would protect her from everything bad in the world.

He wished he could give that to Erik. Arms tighten around his friend, and he'll let his cheek rest in Erik's hair, quiet as he let's their breathing fill the dark room. It's some moments before he'll speak, a soft question against the metal bender's head.

"... is there anything I can do to make it better?" To truly help. Anything at all, he wanted to do it.

[token_vengeance]

"You're here." And that's enough, for now. Words are muffled, Erik not wanting to pull back his face. He should be asking Charles if he was all right, if everyone else was. But he can't manage it. Instead, he just breathes, in, out.

He's alive. And he has something, right here, in his arms.

Something that could easily be ripped from him.

To have, is to have something that can be removed.

"I'll have scars." On his wrist. That match the past more than he can say.

[groovy_mutation]

His answer makes Charles feel happier than he feels he should be allowed right now. With Erik as he is it felt wrong to smile, but he can't help the smile he hides in Erik's hair, hands rubbing over the metal bender's back, trying to be soothing.

Scars. His fingers brush over scars, littering Erik's back, more on his front, he won't linger on them, by pass them as if they don't matter. They do, but Charles doesn't want to focus on them, not right now.

"We'll match then. You and I." His will hardly be as ugly as Erik's, his would probably fade eventually, soon enough even. Erik's were much worse than his own. A sigh leaves him, lips press to the top of Erik's head.

"... I'm sorry I cannot take them away for you. All of it." Well not the scars at least. The memories... he could do that, technically. But he couldn't, not if Erik didn't want it. Even then it would feel weird messing with his mind like that.

"I'm sorry that I cannot do many things for you."

[token_vengeance]

"...I wish we didn't." Erik pulled back slightly, brushing hair away from Charles's face, frowning. He never wanted Charles to bare the marks that he did.

"I alone live with myself, my friend. I wouldn't wish it on anyone." He wouldn't share it with the world, even if it meant easing his own pain. No one deserved it. He had been trained to deal; he had channeled the frustrated, the anger into something productive. Or, at least, productive in the world away from Abax. Here? It just festered like a wound, to be torn open by the games this place played on them.

He couldn't even explain, to Charles, why this event had torn a whole in his chest, left him bleeding. He didn't wish to. Erik simply wanted to bury himself inside the other man, close his eyes, and breath in warmth he didn't think he deserved.

[groovy_mutation]

"Erik, you don't have to live alone with anything any more. I am here for you, I want to help. I want to shoulder burdens along side you." Or he wanted to try at least. He knew it wouldn't be easy for Erik to allow him to help in that way, he knew it was asking for a lot. But it didn't mean he wouldn't hope that Erik would eventually allow him to.

It was sad to know that his friend didn't think he deserved this, didn't deserve to be held and given the warmth of someone who loved him. Then again Charles might be calling the kettle black on that one.

[token_vengeance]

"I know." Erik's fingers gripped at Charles's side, turning his head slightly so he could breathe easier, see the profile of his friend, as well.

"You shouldn't have to shoulder those burdens. I just..." He frowned. What did he want? What was he asking for?

To sleep in the same bed with someone, for once, without worrying, without fear, just...comfort. Companionship. Knowing that he finally had something--even if it might be taken away, tomorrow.

"...I just want you to stay with me."

Erik knew he should ask how Charles was, if the wrist was all right, if the others were all right. But he didn't.

Forgive him, his act of selfishness.

[groovy_mutation]

A hand finds its way into Erik's hair, petting, soothing and attempting to be reassuring.

"I only wish to carry a bit of the weight on your shoulders, to help if you would allow me." To lessen the load if only a little.

"Then we want the same thing." Lips press against Erik's forehead, "I want you to stay with me." And Charles would forgive you, Erik. He didn't mind that the other mutant wasn't fussing over him, in fact he was quite alright with it. He was happy to be here for him when he needed him.

"Sleep with me tonight?"

[token_vengeance]

"...I'll lay here, at least." Erik isn't sure he's going to be able to sleep. But being with Charles, like this, here--it's more comforting than he could have ever anticipated. Closing his eyes at the hand through his hair, and the press of lips, Erik pushed a hand up under Charles's top, large fingers splaying on the other's stomach, just needing more contact than what they had through clothing.

"You do that already, Charles."

What would he ever do without you.

[groovy_mutation]

Lips rest against Erik's forehead, and he'll not say anything for a moment, just lay there with Erik, fingers gentle as they brush through the hair at the nape of his neck. Erik's fingers are warm against his stomach and for a second he ponders moving to take of his nightshirt... but doesn't want to ruin what they have right now.

He'll consider something for a moment before speaking, words soft, careful.

"... I could help you sleep, if you wanted."

[token_vengeance]

Erik keeps his eyes closed, simply breathing in time with Charles. It feels more right than anything had in a long while, here. And some part of him knows that taking this now, forging this relationship here--is idiotic.

It might not matter, when they get back. Might not remember it at all. And something--hard and fast--is coming on the horizon.

But perhaps that's why Erik clings to this even more, now. Because it might never happen, when they get back.

Which is what they have to do. Fulfill what they were meant to do.

Letting out a tired sigh, his fingers tightened slightly on the other's skin, before relaxing.

"...you could. If you could keep the nightmares out.

And a pause.

"...are you happy?"

With this. That this could be some safe place in the mass of hell that was passing here.