this all seems too familiar...

[abandonshipnow]

today i said my last goodbye to am old family friend. yesterday, was my last time seeing her. a family once lived in my building and they had a daughter, Melissa, four years older than i. last friday, 21 year old Melissa was taken away from this life. On highway 400 with five of her friends in the car, and five more in the other truck involved, she was the only one to die. their Envoy rolled three times before hitting the Ford truck, sending them to hospital. She came to, and was airlifted to sunnybroook, only to succumb to her severe head injuries. she was the youngest person who's funeral i have attended. on my way to the viewing yesterday i was sure to miss it because of stalled cars , car accidents, and floods along the way from dan's house. to my good graces, i was able to make it 20 minutes before the viewing was over. i was hesitant to see her, open casket , young woman, severe head trauma, i was too afraid of what i might find, and i would have wanted to just keep the memory of what she was when i ran into her in the mall. but , i went up, paid my respects and watched the weeping over her body, kissing her face, brushing back her hair. to watch her brother weep over her was a sight, it made me think about my own relationship with my brother. Melissa had a tough life, living from group home to group home, but it was in the last years of her life that she really pulled things together for herself. the pictures on britol boards in the funeral home were all of her and her friends with a warm smile speard across her face. that also made me think about the relationship with my own friends. this morning i got up, got dressed and made my way with my family to the church. the same church where i have experienced most funeral services. most peopel were able to stay strong and hold back tears and emotions until we got to the cemetary. i stayed until they covered her casket , and slowly turned away. i will always have the image of her brother hunched over on the ground beside her , with his hand on her casket , telling her he loves her. with her mother sobbing over him, and his girlfriend weeping , consoling her .
theway she looked, asleep in her casket, so peaceful, so bruised, so made up, so young, so beautiful , so loved.
::: i'd like the memory of me to be a happy one.
i'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when the
day is done.
i'd like tto leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways, of happy times,
and laughing times and bright sunny days.
i'd like the tears of those who grieve
to dry before the sun
of happy memories that i leave
behind,--when the day is done.:::
sweet dreams, and warm days for you.