(no subject)
my dad has been a crack head for over a decade.
I've decided that I will make one last trip to a place formally known to me as home.
I will get only things I truly can't live without, and proceed to write a how ever lengthly letter to my..."father".
What it will say I don't know, but if I were to say it to his face, I know I would physically hurt him, or myself.
I can't evern write this properly.
I need him out of my system and he never will be.
He was my dad.
And I was... daddy's girl.
And I still really wanta be, but know I can't and will never be capable of being so to him as long as he continues to breathe the way he has been.
Some of you are not meant to know this because of specific relations you have with my family (aka me and my mother).
I'm writing this now not for you. Thought I'm sure some of you won't put it into consideration as to the reason why I'm posting it on the internet.
The reason is mine.
Everything that hurts is from this former person or connected to him, and I have to live with that.
I've decided that I will make one last trip to a place formally known to me as home.
I will get only things I truly can't live without, and proceed to write a how ever lengthly letter to my..."father".
What it will say I don't know, but if I were to say it to his face, I know I would physically hurt him, or myself.
I can't evern write this properly.
I need him out of my system and he never will be.
He was my dad.
And I was... daddy's girl.
And I still really wanta be, but know I can't and will never be capable of being so to him as long as he continues to breathe the way he has been.
Some of you are not meant to know this because of specific relations you have with my family (aka me and my mother).
I'm writing this now not for you. Thought I'm sure some of you won't put it into consideration as to the reason why I'm posting it on the internet.
The reason is mine.
Everything that hurts is from this former person or connected to him, and I have to live with that.