(no subject)
Convention was SO much fun. We were running around from Thursday until Sunday, but it was amazing. I think it brought us a lot closer together, which is pretty sweet. We had the most amazing banquet/dance/formal thing ever. There were basically no guys and I don't think I've ever had as much fun. I can't remember the last time I've danced so much. And now I'm home.
I don't know what I'm majoring in. I'm considering a double with a possible minor. I don't know if I can do it. I kind of feel like I lost myself sometime during last year. It's weird because the things I loved doing don't interest me anymore. It's like I've had to redefine myself all over again. And normally that's okay, but it seems like I've had to redefine everything I thought I was. And that is a little taxing.
I haven't written in so long that I've forgotten what it's like. I tried painting the other day, but it just wasn't satisfying. I haven't been able to read. I really can't stop worrying about hopkins-related stuff. It's driving me nuts and I need to pull myself back together before summer's over. Otherwise I'm just not going to make it next year. And that scares me a bit. That scares me a lot actually.
I think my worrying about things makes it worse. But how can I not worry about it? How can I just sit back and be okay with not feeling like myself? iunno what's going on. I think that if I could just feel like myself then I'd be okay. If I felt like I wasn't defined by my major or who I'm dating or what my summer plans are then maybe I'd be okay. I think I need to lock myself into my room and not come out for a while.
I don't know what I'm majoring in. I'm considering a double with a possible minor. I don't know if I can do it. I kind of feel like I lost myself sometime during last year. It's weird because the things I loved doing don't interest me anymore. It's like I've had to redefine myself all over again. And normally that's okay, but it seems like I've had to redefine everything I thought I was. And that is a little taxing.
I haven't written in so long that I've forgotten what it's like. I tried painting the other day, but it just wasn't satisfying. I haven't been able to read. I really can't stop worrying about hopkins-related stuff. It's driving me nuts and I need to pull myself back together before summer's over. Otherwise I'm just not going to make it next year. And that scares me a bit. That scares me a lot actually.
I think my worrying about things makes it worse. But how can I not worry about it? How can I just sit back and be okay with not feeling like myself? iunno what's going on. I think that if I could just feel like myself then I'd be okay. If I felt like I wasn't defined by my major or who I'm dating or what my summer plans are then maybe I'd be okay. I think I need to lock myself into my room and not come out for a while.