short update of everything
-my mom found a rental house for all of us to stay in while we try to rebuild our house(no idea how long thats gonna take)
-people have been giving us donations all week(furniture and whatnot) lots of donations from mormans haha theyve been so awesome to us. i guess it totally does pay to hae the right connections
-been awake every morning around 7(after going to sleep around 3 or 4 goddamn insomnia) because theres just so much shit to do that it takes all fucking day
-depression still really sucks
-saw iamx last night. fucking amazing. stayed in l.a. for the night got to the hotel at like 12:30am went to sleep at like 2 and got woken up at 6. ugh.
-halloween was pretty fun. i got trashed. well more trashed than i have been for a long time now. it was pretty great. i havent even seen the pictures yet though. kinda scary thought. haha
-tomorrow is my birthday. dont know what im going to do. probably nothing.
-i dont think tone even remembers that its tomorrow im supposed to see him on tuesday. i saw him a few days ago... it had been a while. it was a bit weird but then not at the same time. hes changed so much....
-the woman gave us/me 3 50's looking kitchen aprons. they are so fucking cute. im considering wearing them in public haha. i feel like baking cookies or summat whenever i wear one.
-casara is moving. there goes a close member of my very small group of friends.
-i wish i could say that i was closer to my goal of numbness but all i really feel nowadays is complete sorrow and i see no solution to it.
-it bugs me that the only time most of the people i know has tried to contact me in the last few months is when they are worried about me/my house. and then i tell them whats going on and they offer to help me in any way they can(which i dont think most can really help) and then i dont hear from them again. fuck... ive tried to talk to these people over the last few months and leave them a note or messege over the last few months and nothing back from them till the fires happen and they call me once.
*sigh* im tired of fake sypathy and fake friends.
i think im just tired in general. ive felt cranky all week cause of this lack of sleep and lack of personal space. my room is the fucking living room and we havent even put a cutain or anything to sheild my room from everything else "we dont have time to do that yet" my mom says. i cant wait for her to go back to work tomorrow. being around her this much is starting to bug me. ugh... life sucks.
-people have been giving us donations all week(furniture and whatnot) lots of donations from mormans haha theyve been so awesome to us. i guess it totally does pay to hae the right connections
-been awake every morning around 7(after going to sleep around 3 or 4 goddamn insomnia) because theres just so much shit to do that it takes all fucking day
-depression still really sucks
-saw iamx last night. fucking amazing. stayed in l.a. for the night got to the hotel at like 12:30am went to sleep at like 2 and got woken up at 6. ugh.
-halloween was pretty fun. i got trashed. well more trashed than i have been for a long time now. it was pretty great. i havent even seen the pictures yet though. kinda scary thought. haha
-tomorrow is my birthday. dont know what im going to do. probably nothing.
-i dont think tone even remembers that its tomorrow im supposed to see him on tuesday. i saw him a few days ago... it had been a while. it was a bit weird but then not at the same time. hes changed so much....
-the woman gave us/me 3 50's looking kitchen aprons. they are so fucking cute. im considering wearing them in public haha. i feel like baking cookies or summat whenever i wear one.
-casara is moving. there goes a close member of my very small group of friends.
-i wish i could say that i was closer to my goal of numbness but all i really feel nowadays is complete sorrow and i see no solution to it.
-it bugs me that the only time most of the people i know has tried to contact me in the last few months is when they are worried about me/my house. and then i tell them whats going on and they offer to help me in any way they can(which i dont think most can really help) and then i dont hear from them again. fuck... ive tried to talk to these people over the last few months and leave them a note or messege over the last few months and nothing back from them till the fires happen and they call me once.
*sigh* im tired of fake sypathy and fake friends.
i think im just tired in general. ive felt cranky all week cause of this lack of sleep and lack of personal space. my room is the fucking living room and we havent even put a cutain or anything to sheild my room from everything else "we dont have time to do that yet" my mom says. i cant wait for her to go back to work tomorrow. being around her this much is starting to bug me. ugh... life sucks.