History Lesson #2
This morning at the HLAA meeting (for deaf people and their friends/family), this woman came who trains service dogs. I was so enraptured. I feel like that's something I want to get involved with --when I finally settle down. Even before then, though, I'm thinking I may want to do an intern or volunteer work with them next summer maybe.
Went to dinner with Blake and Jeff. I love those boys with all my heart. We went to Bennigan's for dinner and had this really sweet sort of bumbling waiter Kevin. Talked for several hours, then went over to Old Navy and Fast Forward, where Jeff's girlfriend and a used-to-be friend of mine Jordan's works --she was there. Except now I feel sort of awkward with her because apparently she wasn't happy that I spent the night with Blake and Jeff at their apartment a few weeks ago. He thinks she's being stupid --and she is. I have no romantic interest in Jeff whatsoever; there were three of us there; I slept on the bed and they slept on the floor; we slept very little anyways. I'm spending the night with them again on Wednesday.
This, however, would be a nice seque to give Blake's and my history, since I'm in for the night. "The gang" is gathering at Mikey's house, but neither Jeff or Blake will be there and I haven't talked to anyone else since last summer, so Josh is probably the only one that would be interested with me for more than a few minutes, and that's the last thing I need right now.
So Blake's history. We went to junior high together but I didn't know him. Junior year of high school I got involved with theatre and had a crush on him. It was never as big a crush as all that just because I don't get hard-core crushes, and really it turned into more of a joke with friends than anything. We did several plays together, including UIL where he played my little brother. I tutored him a bit in math. Like I said, it really became more of a joke between Nikki, Erika, Katherine, and me than anything. In some ways, I think he was flirty with me; in others I think he just treated me the same he treated any of his other female friends. It's hard to say, because I could easily be reading things into nothing, or hesitating to call things what they are.
Then we became best friends and the "crush" disappeared. However, you know, the shadow of a crush never totally goes away, even if the desire for anything does. But we were just friends and all that. He gave me rides and stuff like that --purely platonic, just two great friends. Then Josh thought we were dating and that got him to back off a bit, and when he asked around, everyone else thought Blake and I were dating, too. And I'd be lying if I didn't say it gave me some small thrill. Then Blake and me realized that we basically were acting like a couple --talking for HOURS on the phone every night (easily six hours a night), him driving me everywhere, etc. So we both sort of silently back off and cooled things down, and remained friends definitely, but there was this tiny slight awkwardness, at least on my part. We hung out over the summer, friends as always, then I left for school. The times I've seen him since I've been back, things have been as good as always --better. I'm more confident than I've ever been, I don't have any feelings for him other than friendship, so I'm carefree and confident enough to really relax around him and enjoy being his friend. And in return, he feels the same way, I think.
Mom is convinced there's something more between us, but she often is. Maybe there is. However, I highly doubt anything will ever be recognized other than friendship, and I am perfectly satisfied with that. I don't know that I would want it any other way. He's a great friend, and though I still like to joke with my friends about it, we truly are nothing more nothing less than fantastic friends. So what could have turend into a really romantic high-school-crush-realized story . . . is far better off as a friends-forever story, yeah?
But so . . . that's basically the saga of Blake.
Went to dinner with Blake and Jeff. I love those boys with all my heart. We went to Bennigan's for dinner and had this really sweet sort of bumbling waiter Kevin. Talked for several hours, then went over to Old Navy and Fast Forward, where Jeff's girlfriend and a used-to-be friend of mine Jordan's works --she was there. Except now I feel sort of awkward with her because apparently she wasn't happy that I spent the night with Blake and Jeff at their apartment a few weeks ago. He thinks she's being stupid --and she is. I have no romantic interest in Jeff whatsoever; there were three of us there; I slept on the bed and they slept on the floor; we slept very little anyways. I'm spending the night with them again on Wednesday.
This, however, would be a nice seque to give Blake's and my history, since I'm in for the night. "The gang" is gathering at Mikey's house, but neither Jeff or Blake will be there and I haven't talked to anyone else since last summer, so Josh is probably the only one that would be interested with me for more than a few minutes, and that's the last thing I need right now.
So Blake's history. We went to junior high together but I didn't know him. Junior year of high school I got involved with theatre and had a crush on him. It was never as big a crush as all that just because I don't get hard-core crushes, and really it turned into more of a joke with friends than anything. We did several plays together, including UIL where he played my little brother. I tutored him a bit in math. Like I said, it really became more of a joke between Nikki, Erika, Katherine, and me than anything. In some ways, I think he was flirty with me; in others I think he just treated me the same he treated any of his other female friends. It's hard to say, because I could easily be reading things into nothing, or hesitating to call things what they are.
Then we became best friends and the "crush" disappeared. However, you know, the shadow of a crush never totally goes away, even if the desire for anything does. But we were just friends and all that. He gave me rides and stuff like that --purely platonic, just two great friends. Then Josh thought we were dating and that got him to back off a bit, and when he asked around, everyone else thought Blake and I were dating, too. And I'd be lying if I didn't say it gave me some small thrill. Then Blake and me realized that we basically were acting like a couple --talking for HOURS on the phone every night (easily six hours a night), him driving me everywhere, etc. So we both sort of silently back off and cooled things down, and remained friends definitely, but there was this tiny slight awkwardness, at least on my part. We hung out over the summer, friends as always, then I left for school. The times I've seen him since I've been back, things have been as good as always --better. I'm more confident than I've ever been, I don't have any feelings for him other than friendship, so I'm carefree and confident enough to really relax around him and enjoy being his friend. And in return, he feels the same way, I think.
Mom is convinced there's something more between us, but she often is. Maybe there is. However, I highly doubt anything will ever be recognized other than friendship, and I am perfectly satisfied with that. I don't know that I would want it any other way. He's a great friend, and though I still like to joke with my friends about it, we truly are nothing more nothing less than fantastic friends. So what could have turend into a really romantic high-school-crush-realized story . . . is far better off as a friends-forever story, yeah?
But so . . . that's basically the saga of Blake.