on love....
To be honest I've never really trusted love. It can be used against you in the blink of an eye and you're left realing as to what the fuck it was all about.
The one thing I can say for Jean-Claude is that he's honest. Oh, don't get me wrong he plays his games and he's good at it, but he's honest in his manipulating. I know what I'm dealing with when I talk to him. He isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and do what he has to for the people he's put under his protection. Now see he'd like you to believe it's all about the power, and for the most part it is for him. Vampires get used to one uping their enemies almost from the day they're created and so I don't hold it against him, but if there's one thing I've learned about him it is that he takes very seriously the promises he has made. If he says I'll protect you well he means it. Just like I do. We sometimes don't even have to think about it. I see a course of action, and I know through so many ways that he has gotten to that conclusion too and then it's set because we know people are depending on us. Now, I'm not saying that he probably doesn't keep things from me, but we're on the same page and I'd be lying if I didn't say it doesn't feel good to know I don't have to explain myself to him like I had to with Richard.
He accepts all of me. I look at Richard, for example...yes like you didn't know this was coming, anyway, and all I see is that he wants me because he thinks I'm more human than he is or something. That by having me he'll be less the monster. I look at Jean-Claude and I know that he doesn't expect that of me. He's happy that I can take care of business, and it pleases him that it's not until after that I begin to wonder the toll it's taking on my soul. He told me once that I keep him from becoming more of a monster. I don't know if that's true, but he knows me so maybe all my fears are good for both of us in the end.
So many changes have come my way and he's there through them all. I can't exactly say this is a good thing, I mean after all some of this is his fault, but it was my choice and I know that there's a part of me that will always need him. I can't curl up with him on the couch and listen to my favorite musical. I will never share my day with him, but maybe that was never me anyway. He doesn't need me to change, and I'm beginning to see that's true love.
The one thing I can say for Jean-Claude is that he's honest. Oh, don't get me wrong he plays his games and he's good at it, but he's honest in his manipulating. I know what I'm dealing with when I talk to him. He isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and do what he has to for the people he's put under his protection. Now see he'd like you to believe it's all about the power, and for the most part it is for him. Vampires get used to one uping their enemies almost from the day they're created and so I don't hold it against him, but if there's one thing I've learned about him it is that he takes very seriously the promises he has made. If he says I'll protect you well he means it. Just like I do. We sometimes don't even have to think about it. I see a course of action, and I know through so many ways that he has gotten to that conclusion too and then it's set because we know people are depending on us. Now, I'm not saying that he probably doesn't keep things from me, but we're on the same page and I'd be lying if I didn't say it doesn't feel good to know I don't have to explain myself to him like I had to with Richard.
He accepts all of me. I look at Richard, for example...yes like you didn't know this was coming, anyway, and all I see is that he wants me because he thinks I'm more human than he is or something. That by having me he'll be less the monster. I look at Jean-Claude and I know that he doesn't expect that of me. He's happy that I can take care of business, and it pleases him that it's not until after that I begin to wonder the toll it's taking on my soul. He told me once that I keep him from becoming more of a monster. I don't know if that's true, but he knows me so maybe all my fears are good for both of us in the end.
So many changes have come my way and he's there through them all. I can't exactly say this is a good thing, I mean after all some of this is his fault, but it was my choice and I know that there's a part of me that will always need him. I can't curl up with him on the couch and listen to my favorite musical. I will never share my day with him, but maybe that was never me anyway. He doesn't need me to change, and I'm beginning to see that's true love.