Away and we'll fly until no one exists
Footnote Senior Night was tonight, and we pretty much sit around and get all lovey dovey. Everybody gets nostalgic and sentimental, and it's a sad but good time. But getting so close to seniors every year makes you think when it comes time for them to graduate. I mean, here I am, an upperclassman already. Two years of college down. Halfway there. And what have I accomplished? I mean, really, am I having the sort of impact I thought that I would? I don't even know if I have goals for myself for college, I sure wish I knew what they were or if I was any closer to them. I just feel like I'm not developing relationships like I ought to be. I'm afraid that people don't think of me in a way I would like to be remembered. In a very general sense I feel like I'm not using my time well. I question decisions I have made lately and wonder if they're making me a better person. I sometimes wonder what that even means these days. I just feel really lost. I don't really know why I do anything.
Maybe it's good to go through these traumatic separations yearly, it's almost like a funeral. It reminds me of my mortality and makes me evaluate where I'm headed. But who even knows if it will lead to any real change? Tomorrow I'll be rested and the sun will be out and there will be things to do and I'll forget all about the fact that I don't know who I am anymore.
Maybe it's good to go through these traumatic separations yearly, it's almost like a funeral. It reminds me of my mortality and makes me evaluate where I'm headed. But who even knows if it will lead to any real change? Tomorrow I'll be rested and the sun will be out and there will be things to do and I'll forget all about the fact that I don't know who I am anymore.