It is just too easy
Last night I made out with a friend. A friend who has a boyfriend waiting for her back in Maryland. The Russian as expected was not smart enough to figure out how to get to China without someone telling her what to do. I was surprisingly not as disappointed as I thought I would be about that, but her lack of being able to think past five minutes into the future was starting to get to me. This post is not really about that though.
I met an American girl here. From the very beginning we got along very well. Almost too well. You know how sometimes you meet someone who you just get along with so well immediately? Well that was us. Needless to say our friendship quickly grew to sexual tension. It could not be helped on my end. My relationship with the Russian was coming to a close, and her boyfriend was all the way back in Maryland. They had been dating for five months before she decided to come to China although I was surprised he did not follow her here. He is just working at the supermarket right now. What does he have to lose by not coming here with her and saving money? I don´t know. So she has been sexual frustrated for months now. It was a recipe for disaster.
I am not a good person when it comes to women. It is my one fatal flaw. She sent me a song by some guy named Hozier called "It will come back" and boy did it describe me in a nut shell. I know the effect I have on women. She is not the first person who has cheated on their boyfriends with me, even the Russian had as well.
Well last night things got really heated between us. She asked to come over so as to plan our trip for Shanghai even though there really was not much to plan. It was just an excuse to see me. We watched a television show for a while before I wrapped my arms around her. I could get really descriptive, but perhaps that is not something that should be written about. Needless to say we kissed passionately for a long time that night.
This weighed on her conscious however and this morning she spoke with her boyfriend and told him what she had done. I had told her to just keep it between ourselves, but the guilt she had was too much. I guess her boyfriend told her not to see me anymore because she wrote to me later saying just that. She wanted to stay friends, but at this point I did not care to say yes just for it to backfire and we end up kissing again so I said it was not possible. There was a mutual interest between both of us, and for us to keep our hands off of each other would be impossible.
We humans when it comes to relationships are so weak. It was so easy to seduce Maryland girl, Russian girl, and so many others. I have come to like R & B so much lately because everything they say in the songs is true. Throughout all this I do not feel anything. No sadness, no grief. Absolutely nothing. I fell out of love with the Russian because she is stupid, Maryland girl I did not know long enough. In a certain sense I feel relief because yet again I am free. I had made certain plans revolving around the Russian. Certain sacrifices I was going to take for her, but now that I do not need to worry about it I can focus on myself again. It seems alright.
I know I am not a good person. To the few people that read my LiveJournal I realized that a long time ago so no need to chastize me. This is just who I am.
I met an American girl here. From the very beginning we got along very well. Almost too well. You know how sometimes you meet someone who you just get along with so well immediately? Well that was us. Needless to say our friendship quickly grew to sexual tension. It could not be helped on my end. My relationship with the Russian was coming to a close, and her boyfriend was all the way back in Maryland. They had been dating for five months before she decided to come to China although I was surprised he did not follow her here. He is just working at the supermarket right now. What does he have to lose by not coming here with her and saving money? I don´t know. So she has been sexual frustrated for months now. It was a recipe for disaster.
I am not a good person when it comes to women. It is my one fatal flaw. She sent me a song by some guy named Hozier called "It will come back" and boy did it describe me in a nut shell. I know the effect I have on women. She is not the first person who has cheated on their boyfriends with me, even the Russian had as well.
Well last night things got really heated between us. She asked to come over so as to plan our trip for Shanghai even though there really was not much to plan. It was just an excuse to see me. We watched a television show for a while before I wrapped my arms around her. I could get really descriptive, but perhaps that is not something that should be written about. Needless to say we kissed passionately for a long time that night.
This weighed on her conscious however and this morning she spoke with her boyfriend and told him what she had done. I had told her to just keep it between ourselves, but the guilt she had was too much. I guess her boyfriend told her not to see me anymore because she wrote to me later saying just that. She wanted to stay friends, but at this point I did not care to say yes just for it to backfire and we end up kissing again so I said it was not possible. There was a mutual interest between both of us, and for us to keep our hands off of each other would be impossible.
We humans when it comes to relationships are so weak. It was so easy to seduce Maryland girl, Russian girl, and so many others. I have come to like R & B so much lately because everything they say in the songs is true. Throughout all this I do not feel anything. No sadness, no grief. Absolutely nothing. I fell out of love with the Russian because she is stupid, Maryland girl I did not know long enough. In a certain sense I feel relief because yet again I am free. I had made certain plans revolving around the Russian. Certain sacrifices I was going to take for her, but now that I do not need to worry about it I can focus on myself again. It seems alright.
I know I am not a good person. To the few people that read my LiveJournal I realized that a long time ago so no need to chastize me. This is just who I am.