Mar 28, 2005 00:21
Seventeeeeeeeeeeeeeen - ok so ive been really busy, i swear....and when i get busy i tend to not pay attention to the things that i should. no im not really talking about this journal, altho it has been neglected....but if ive been MIA the last few weeks or so, dont take it personally, its been like that with every1 because im just really really really busy right now...so busy ive hated on my journal and all my avid readers (including the ones who read it yet i have never even met them), so for today im going to write about spring break, yes thats how long its been since ive written, and more specifically my ride home, not really spring break itself.....so heres some random/funny stuff for you
Ok so i had my spring break time, i went to florida, i had fun and all that good stuff....but the subject of my story comes from my LONG, and i cant emphasize long enough, drive back to TX. Well i get to driving, ive got a full head of steam and everything is going good....im flying of course, doing speeds of well over 100MPH the entire way, well many many hours go by and i am starving and slightly tired so i decide to stop and eat at mcdonalds. now those of you who know me will understand how big of a deal it was for me to eat by myself. i love people and i HATE to be alone as much or more than any1 that i know, in fact this was the first time ive ever in my entire life had to eat by myself (aside from in my house). so i order my food, "a number 7 please, with a dr. pepper to drink....umm some sweet and sour sauce would be splendid" - so i tell the 17 year old white guy who talks like he just learned the english language yesterday. i get my food and i decide to sit down...no 45 seconds later a cute little blonde girl comes up to me and says "are you eating by yourself?", im a little shocked and honestly a tad bit embarassed, even tho it takes a lot for me to get embarassed. so i give a lil laugh and say "yeah well unfortunately i have to at this point"....keep in mind i knew darn well what i was getting at when i said that, and she bit saying "well i have to eat by myself right now too, can i sit with you?"....so naturally i come with, in a completely shocked voice as if i had no clue she would say that "oh thatd be awesome......" and the story goes, her name was shelly...and she was a sophomore from the university of kentucky, and she was driving for spring break too, no i did not get her #, seeing as tho she lives far away....but it was awesome how i didnt have to eat by myself, ok i think ill make a new paragraph here for fun, even tho its my same story...
ok so i get back in my car, drive for a long time until im on the edge of mississippi, very close to louisiana...now i always always make fun of Louis. for being backwoods, country, and just flat out dirty everywhere....i am not a big fan of louis most of the time, and will make fun of it for everything, even how their gas stations sell liquor. so i start this by saying, this is something that i woudl expect in louis. and not mississippi....im tired, i have about 6-7 hours left and i need gas, so i stop to pee, get food, gas, and all that. i goto the bathroom and its locked, so i wait outside - a few minutes later this pudgy little 10 year old boy walks out with some baseball pants on, i start to enter the b-room and "BAM" the smell literally drives me back a few feet, i mean it was like that little fat kid had 3 wishes granted by a genie...and 1 of them was to take a dump that smelled so bad it could take the life out of a person....anyway i decide to do my bladder a favor and just hold my breath and pee....but imagine my surprise when i walk in the 1 person bathroom and there about 3 feet from the toilet, garbage and sink...is fecal, excriments, poop, the 10 year old fat kids dump on the floor...now let me tell you, its in a nice little pile, its not liquid, its not a marble or 2...its an all out - full fledged lincoln logs castle on the tile floor....shocked by this, i do what all of you would expect me to do...i to the drink section of the store, and find that lil non-potty trained 10 year old, of course i say "did you just take a dump on the floor?" im sorry if thats not the best thing to say, but he took a dump on the floor, i mean come on - he deserves to get in trouble for that....of course he makes up some excuse "i couldnt make the pot" but you dont drop "batons" on the floor when u have to go so bad you cant make it, i mean i should know....i have lots of those kinds of dumps, they are fully formed poo-hot dogs in a neat lil pile....so then i say "well thats fine, but you need to go tell that guy at the front that you pooped on the floor", then i went pee in the girls bathroom, in the trash can...ok im kidding about the trash can but i did pee in the girls bathroom, and then i decided ot buy a dr. pepper, it costs $1.28, i had the cashier a dollar and 2 quarters....he gives me my change, i walk out, and as i am about to open my car door i notice i have 1 dollar and 22 cents in my hand, which means i paid 28 cents for a 20 OZ dr. pepper, (only in louis/miss.), and then to make things worse, i go back inside hand him the doller and tell him how he should have only given me 22 cents back, and he tries to argue with me and tell me he didnt give me that dollar....i was like do you really think i would just give you a dollar for no reason? and make up some story about too much change if i was going to do that? eventually hes like oh yeah you are right, thanks for being honest....the story doesnt end yet
so i leave that gas station shaking my head thinking - did he really poop? did he really give me 1 22 back? - i get in my car and take a deep breathe, knowing im about to have to drive thru louis so things could get worse, but NO it only took about 30 seconds to continue...i leave the gas station and stop at this red light....abotu 15 feet ahead is the on ramp for I-10....im approaching the on ramp, accelerating, not very fast yet cuz i was drinking DP (thank goodness)....and i see this chair in the middle of the on ramp (it was abotu 11 30 pm at this point), so i slow down, cuz i know im gonna have to drive around it, as i get closer i notice my lights reflect of two little circles, as an animals eyes do when you cant see it yet....oh yes, do you know what it is? go ahead take a guess? i bet you didnt guess it was a bum, sitting upright, with his legs crossed "indian style" looking directly at my car as it approaches.....WTF IS GOING ON????? did u just read that, a f-ing bum was sitting directly in the middle of the on ramp staring at my car as i approached it at 11 30 at night, seriously???? that was unreal, i just decided to drive around him tho, cuz he either wanted to die, wanted to get arrested so he coudl have a better place to go and eat (jail), or he wanted some1 to get otu so he could attack them, none of those options were going to be fulfilled by me on that day, so i slowly drove around him and drove as fast as i could to get away from that bad bad place......
ok folks thats the end of my "spring break 05 return trip from tampa, florida the weekend before my birthday trip" story, i have one more story to tell from when i was on the bus earlier this week...its short tho, and ill save it for another journal, maybe tomorrow -
and number 17 has officially concluded