why write this? because i can

[aareject]

i figure, if i saw a psychologist today to discuss my most recent problems, our 'conversation' would be more of a monologue if anything, becuase, well, i'd be the only one talking. any time she'd try to open her mouth to say something, i'd just shut her up and keep talking because i feel that i've shut myslef down from thinking and expressing myself lately and this would be my only chance. so who cares about her college education, master's degree, and whatever else? i dont care about her advice; i wanna spill my soul .. if i was a can of paint, i'd spill myself open on a huge canvas .. if i were a bottle of alchohol, i'd pour myslef down someone's throat and intoxicate them so deeply that they would not remember a thing, a single thing, that occured prior to this intoxicationn .. if i were an ocean, i'd drown out the world ...... you get the picture ......
i guess im just feeling a little .... unheard
like, there's all this stuff in my head i wanna say and i dont because i dont know how to put the right words together. it frustrates me -

if i ever got the chance to be a can of paint, i'd take it -
i'd take it and run