i'm a fuck-up
graduation. the party. me.
nothing was what i expected.
everything is regretable but i wouldnt go back and change it.
mainly, because i'm too lazy.
i thought graduating would make me cry. but not a tear ..
just a lot of screaming afterwards. and stress.
why the fuck was i so stressed out???
why was i running around trying to get everything perfect and why was i yelling at the people at miami subs that they were taking too long to make our food? (but they kind of deserved it. if it's that slow, they shouldnt call it fast food.)
i hated sitting up on that stage. waiting for speeches to get done and the applause to die down .. all for a diploma cover without the diploma. i thought thered be more to it. more oomph. at least there was confetti.
i drank the tequila too fast. it wasnt much. i just stupidly decided that since i felt nothing after the first gulp, i'd need another. a few gulps later, i still wasnt feeling anything so off to the club it was. but halfway there, i realized i could hardly keep my balance.
i wasnt bad. i can remember every little thing that happened. i just feel stupid about all those little things that happened. but again, im overanalyzing because i didnt do anything wrong. i just said some stupid shit. all of which i remember. or maybe i acted stupidly. i'm not sure what constitutes for stupid actions.
the whole thing is overrated though.
so we graduated. big deal. it hasnt hit anyone yet. so technically graduating isnt the big deal but going to college is because thats when you really feel it. being on you own ((alone)).
and then senior party ..
i feel like a jack ass for actually spending money on clothes and hair. shallow shallow shallow
it wasnt anything great. the only great thing about it was that i was spending time with my friends.
i guess i had fun though.
last time i got drunk was october .. and it probably wont happen for another long ass time.
alcohol is a funny thing. the way it has such control.
one minute im fine and then next it's woooo-hold-me-up-bitch-i-dont-wanna-hit-the-floor.
i didnt tho .. just in the bathroom but thats because they dont tell you theres a step :)
drank too fast, that's all.
the hotel was really nice. only our room had just one bed (already taken), and i opted to stay up instead of having a cold couch without a blanket or the floor. then finally, what seemed like words of god - "can you drive back with me so i dont fall asleep at the wheel?" she was nice enough to drive me there, so i returned the favor. (plus - bed desperately needed slash sarah needs ride home.) i thought this was BRILLIANT becuase then i'd be at home and could get my car to go back to the hotel and pick up steph and lauren later. apparently, i thought wrong and steph's mad at me for whatever dramatic reason she turned all this into.
thus, i am a fuck-up.
i do things with good intentions only they end up biting me in the ass later.
its wonderful to know that at least i'm good at something.
nothing was what i expected.
everything is regretable but i wouldnt go back and change it.
mainly, because i'm too lazy.
i thought graduating would make me cry. but not a tear ..
just a lot of screaming afterwards. and stress.
why the fuck was i so stressed out???
why was i running around trying to get everything perfect and why was i yelling at the people at miami subs that they were taking too long to make our food? (but they kind of deserved it. if it's that slow, they shouldnt call it fast food.)
i hated sitting up on that stage. waiting for speeches to get done and the applause to die down .. all for a diploma cover without the diploma. i thought thered be more to it. more oomph. at least there was confetti.
i drank the tequila too fast. it wasnt much. i just stupidly decided that since i felt nothing after the first gulp, i'd need another. a few gulps later, i still wasnt feeling anything so off to the club it was. but halfway there, i realized i could hardly keep my balance.
i wasnt bad. i can remember every little thing that happened. i just feel stupid about all those little things that happened. but again, im overanalyzing because i didnt do anything wrong. i just said some stupid shit. all of which i remember. or maybe i acted stupidly. i'm not sure what constitutes for stupid actions.
the whole thing is overrated though.
so we graduated. big deal. it hasnt hit anyone yet. so technically graduating isnt the big deal but going to college is because thats when you really feel it. being on you own ((alone)).
and then senior party ..
i feel like a jack ass for actually spending money on clothes and hair. shallow shallow shallow
it wasnt anything great. the only great thing about it was that i was spending time with my friends.
i guess i had fun though.
last time i got drunk was october .. and it probably wont happen for another long ass time.
alcohol is a funny thing. the way it has such control.
one minute im fine and then next it's woooo-hold-me-up-bitch-i-dont-wanna-hit-the-floor.
i didnt tho .. just in the bathroom but thats because they dont tell you theres a step :)
drank too fast, that's all.
the hotel was really nice. only our room had just one bed (already taken), and i opted to stay up instead of having a cold couch without a blanket or the floor. then finally, what seemed like words of god - "can you drive back with me so i dont fall asleep at the wheel?" she was nice enough to drive me there, so i returned the favor. (plus - bed desperately needed slash sarah needs ride home.) i thought this was BRILLIANT becuase then i'd be at home and could get my car to go back to the hotel and pick up steph and lauren later. apparently, i thought wrong and steph's mad at me for whatever dramatic reason she turned all this into.
thus, i am a fuck-up.
i do things with good intentions only they end up biting me in the ass later.
its wonderful to know that at least i'm good at something.