Um so like yeah...
I've decided that I'm going to write stories in here instead of updating 'cause I feel like it. And we all know how funny my stories can be. It was originally 50 commments that I left on my friend's Myspace page but I moved it onto LJ. So yeah, here's the most recent creative masterpiece that went from my brain to Compy:
So yeah, I don't wanna go to Spanish today. Becuase I hate it and it's not fun. My prof just needs to hurry up and die 'cause she's like really old and she's a bitch. She's always forgetting EVERYTHING!! Everyday she's like "Did we already do this!?!?! Yes? Oh... I guess I forgot." Sometimes I just wanna yell at her and be like "YEAH, YOU FORGOT! YA WANNA KNOW WHY!?!?!? IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE 983479834 YEARS OLD!! YOU FUCKIN' TAUGHT THE DINOSAURS SPANISH!! JUST DIE!!" Someday, I just know I'm going to loose it for real and yell at her. See, she doesn't really teach. She just reads from the book. So if she wasn't there, we'd learn as much as if she was there. I KNOW! Makes no sense to me either!! I know I'm going to be like "OMFG, YOU ARE THE WORST TEACHER!! GET SOME CREATIVITY!! EVERYONE HATES THIS CLASS AND THEY HATE YOU 'CAUES YOU'RE AN UN-CREATIVE BITCH!!" I'll probably get on top of my desk and yell at the top of my lungs at her. Pffft, I bet she'd have a heart attack. OMFG, "RED LIGHT SPECIAL" BY TLC JUST CAME ON!! I'd laugh if she became afraid of me, haha. Then BOTH of us would have profs that are scared of us. It would be fun to have a prof afraid of you!!!! I bet you l<3ve it. I seriously hate my Spanish class. All I do is talk all hour and I don't pay attention. One day, I'm just going to be like "Listen, FUCK THIS CLASS YOU OLD ASS BITCH!!" Then, I'm going to walk out and walk to the Library. Then, I'm going to take the elevator to the fourth floor and run around and scream and knock all the books off the shelves. Then, when the nerdy deskies call the Secret Library Police Squad (SLPS) on me, I'll take the computers and throw them at them. When they finally regain their consciousness I will be miles away. Actually, I'll probably wait for them to wake up. I'm nice like that. I wouldn't cheat. So after they'd wake up, I'd just jump down to the first floor. Fuck elevators. Fuck stairs. I don't need them. Since the SLPS is too afraid to jump down such a height, they'd have to use their super secret ropes that they have hidden in certain books at the Lib. Books like, "How to Kick Everyone off the Internet." and "How to Make Food Look Absolutely Un-edible." Those books are secret though, so you didn't hear that from me. So when they finally get down to the first floor, I would already have my get-away car built and ready to go. I'd make it out of books. So I'd jump in and speed off. But, of course, the SLPS would have their own means of transportation and they'd get in theirs and follow me. We'd zoom all over campus at speeds not known to mankind, always stopping for pedestrians. 'Cause, shoooooooooooooooot, I don't want to have to pay for someone else's tuition. I'd have to drop out of college, get a job at McDonald's, and then pay for who ever I hit. And I am NOT working at McDonalds. I mean, yeah, the food's good and it's a great place to go when drunk and make new friends and meet your soulmate ( <3 Ronald) but I will NOT be seen behind that counter. Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellz no. But andyways, the SLPS and I would be racin' all around campus. I would get tired of them never bein' able to catch me ('cause I mean, srsly, they'd never be able to). So I'd act like my car blew up. "How can someone act like their car blew up?" you ask!?!?!?!?!? Well, it's much easier than people realize. But I can't go into that now, I have to finish. So yeah, I'd act like my car blew up and then when they came to inspect to see if I really had died... I pounce on them like a starving tiger who just stalked a gazelle and couldn't wait any longer to sink my fangs into it and tear it limb from limb. But the SLPS would suspect that I acted like my car blew up and they'd have a plan ready for when I pounced. They would shoot nets at me and tie me up like some animal. Then, they'd take me to the zoo and put me my own exibit and open it up the public five days a week. Charging them $10 to see me. But little would they know, I'm a master of escaping from cages that are open to the public five days a week. Cages that are open six days a week are a little tricky, but I can handle five day. So yeah, I'd escape and seek out the SLPS that put me behind close bars. I'd secret sneek into each one of their houses and write things on their face like they were passed out college students at some lame ass frat party. I'd write things like "insert here" and "I eat poop." Then, when their families woke up the next morning and saw what was written on their faces, they disown them and throw them out on the streets. I'd be waiting outside on those streets with a huge smile on my face and I'd say "WHAT NOW BITCHES! DIDN'T THINK I'D ESCAPE FROM THE ZOO!?!?!? WELL I DID AND I'M BACK TO RUIN YOUR LIFE!!" They'd all become enraged and start to chase me, but since they'd still be in their pajama's... they wouldn't have the proper foot apparel on and they'd step all over the broken glass I ingeniously laid all over the ground. They'd all start crying their little eyes out. I'd feel bad, help them, and then realize that I just saved my enemy and then I'd push them into the glass. 'Cause them to experience pain like they've never experienced before. They'd be covered in glass from heard to foot and it would stay in them forever since I covered each piece of broken glass with super glue. Don't mess with super glue, kids. Then I'd send them to the zoo they sent me to and I'd charge $479823479823 dollars a visit to see them. I'd become the richest man in the world and eventually buy the world and become the ruler.
Ok, I know it's really long but it's really funny. So yeah, read it. If you don't have time to read something so long, then make time. Bitch.
Until next time...
So yeah, I don't wanna go to Spanish today. Becuase I hate it and it's not fun. My prof just needs to hurry up and die 'cause she's like really old and she's a bitch. She's always forgetting EVERYTHING!! Everyday she's like "Did we already do this!?!?! Yes? Oh... I guess I forgot." Sometimes I just wanna yell at her and be like "YEAH, YOU FORGOT! YA WANNA KNOW WHY!?!?!? IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE 983479834 YEARS OLD!! YOU FUCKIN' TAUGHT THE DINOSAURS SPANISH!! JUST DIE!!" Someday, I just know I'm going to loose it for real and yell at her. See, she doesn't really teach. She just reads from the book. So if she wasn't there, we'd learn as much as if she was there. I KNOW! Makes no sense to me either!! I know I'm going to be like "OMFG, YOU ARE THE WORST TEACHER!! GET SOME CREATIVITY!! EVERYONE HATES THIS CLASS AND THEY HATE YOU 'CAUES YOU'RE AN UN-CREATIVE BITCH!!" I'll probably get on top of my desk and yell at the top of my lungs at her. Pffft, I bet she'd have a heart attack. OMFG, "RED LIGHT SPECIAL" BY TLC JUST CAME ON!! I'd laugh if she became afraid of me, haha. Then BOTH of us would have profs that are scared of us. It would be fun to have a prof afraid of you!!!! I bet you l<3ve it. I seriously hate my Spanish class. All I do is talk all hour and I don't pay attention. One day, I'm just going to be like "Listen, FUCK THIS CLASS YOU OLD ASS BITCH!!" Then, I'm going to walk out and walk to the Library. Then, I'm going to take the elevator to the fourth floor and run around and scream and knock all the books off the shelves. Then, when the nerdy deskies call the Secret Library Police Squad (SLPS) on me, I'll take the computers and throw them at them. When they finally regain their consciousness I will be miles away. Actually, I'll probably wait for them to wake up. I'm nice like that. I wouldn't cheat. So after they'd wake up, I'd just jump down to the first floor. Fuck elevators. Fuck stairs. I don't need them. Since the SLPS is too afraid to jump down such a height, they'd have to use their super secret ropes that they have hidden in certain books at the Lib. Books like, "How to Kick Everyone off the Internet." and "How to Make Food Look Absolutely Un-edible." Those books are secret though, so you didn't hear that from me. So when they finally get down to the first floor, I would already have my get-away car built and ready to go. I'd make it out of books. So I'd jump in and speed off. But, of course, the SLPS would have their own means of transportation and they'd get in theirs and follow me. We'd zoom all over campus at speeds not known to mankind, always stopping for pedestrians. 'Cause, shoooooooooooooooot, I don't want to have to pay for someone else's tuition. I'd have to drop out of college, get a job at McDonald's, and then pay for who ever I hit. And I am NOT working at McDonalds. I mean, yeah, the food's good and it's a great place to go when drunk and make new friends and meet your soulmate ( <3 Ronald) but I will NOT be seen behind that counter. Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellz no. But andyways, the SLPS and I would be racin' all around campus. I would get tired of them never bein' able to catch me ('cause I mean, srsly, they'd never be able to). So I'd act like my car blew up. "How can someone act like their car blew up?" you ask!?!?!?!?!? Well, it's much easier than people realize. But I can't go into that now, I have to finish. So yeah, I'd act like my car blew up and then when they came to inspect to see if I really had died... I pounce on them like a starving tiger who just stalked a gazelle and couldn't wait any longer to sink my fangs into it and tear it limb from limb. But the SLPS would suspect that I acted like my car blew up and they'd have a plan ready for when I pounced. They would shoot nets at me and tie me up like some animal. Then, they'd take me to the zoo and put me my own exibit and open it up the public five days a week. Charging them $10 to see me. But little would they know, I'm a master of escaping from cages that are open to the public five days a week. Cages that are open six days a week are a little tricky, but I can handle five day. So yeah, I'd escape and seek out the SLPS that put me behind close bars. I'd secret sneek into each one of their houses and write things on their face like they were passed out college students at some lame ass frat party. I'd write things like "insert here" and "I eat poop." Then, when their families woke up the next morning and saw what was written on their faces, they disown them and throw them out on the streets. I'd be waiting outside on those streets with a huge smile on my face and I'd say "WHAT NOW BITCHES! DIDN'T THINK I'D ESCAPE FROM THE ZOO!?!?!? WELL I DID AND I'M BACK TO RUIN YOUR LIFE!!" They'd all become enraged and start to chase me, but since they'd still be in their pajama's... they wouldn't have the proper foot apparel on and they'd step all over the broken glass I ingeniously laid all over the ground. They'd all start crying their little eyes out. I'd feel bad, help them, and then realize that I just saved my enemy and then I'd push them into the glass. 'Cause them to experience pain like they've never experienced before. They'd be covered in glass from heard to foot and it would stay in them forever since I covered each piece of broken glass with super glue. Don't mess with super glue, kids. Then I'd send them to the zoo they sent me to and I'd charge $479823479823 dollars a visit to see them. I'd become the richest man in the world and eventually buy the world and become the ruler.
Ok, I know it's really long but it's really funny. So yeah, read it. If you don't have time to read something so long, then make time. Bitch.
Until next time...