re意識 (au contrant) | tvxq, au.
seven of-???
6883w.
ao3
changmin presses his thumb to the spot between his eyes, hard, elbow digging into the cafe’s high table as he attempts to keep the headache trying to bloom there away.
“i do not want to go to another party.” he says crisply, exasperated, doing his best not to growl as victoria pleads and attempts to coax him on another night out.
it’s been months and victoria is completely unaware of changmin’s move as of yet, and changmin isn’t sure how much longer he cares to keep the secret. especially if it makes victoria shut up. as it is, changmin no longer lives as far from the campus and it’s hot spots as he once did, and he’s wary that victoria is going to offer him a ride due the storm forming so quick. changmin can feel it from inside; the way the scent of the air sharpens, the building pressure that raises his hair on end, the subtle quietness of the little animals that live in the city, unnoticed by humans. it makes him anxious. afraid.
he hates thunderstorms.
“i swear it won’t be like before. the asshole you told me about somehow ended up in the hospital the same night. turns out someone decided to stick up for you. he didn’t dish out who it was though.” victoria tells him, playing with her hair. “he said it was a demon, but as far as i can remember you were the only one dressed up supernaturally that night. didn’t know arms could even break that way.”
changmin looks at victoria, his teeth starting to ache at her ranting. he opens his mouth, annoyed and offended and with a few choice words to say, but he snaps his jaw shut as a wave of pain knocks through his skull with the thunder that rolls in from the distance. he presses his thumb to his forehead harder still, seizing his thoughts. he does not want to remember that night. that or the fact that yunho had decided to so viciously exact retribution on his behalf.
“i do not want to go to another party, victoria. i have plans for tonight.” changmin turns the lie over on his tongue, the taste of it unusually angry as he thinks. he’s not even sure if yunho is previously engaged for the night, but changmin knows that he will be happier with sitting at home curled up with seraphina than going down to hyunwoo’s for another hellish experience victoria so casually dubs “party.”
“c’mon min! it’s new years eve. besides, don’t you want a new years kiss or something?”
“a what.”
“lip locking at the minute of midnight! you could probably use one. it’s supposed to bring you luck in love for the next year.”
“victoria, please.” changmin complaines, tired. “i do not need any luck in love. if i need luck anywhere it’s in school and dealing with the men and women that are already in my life.”
victoria rolls her eyes. “what? your sisters and your dad can’t be that awful. or is your grandpa visiting, throwing holy water around at people that even come close to you again?”
changmin blinks, mirth tugging at his mouth. victoria has met none of his family, and she’s only going off of vague childhood stories he told her once a few years ago. his lips twitch into an almost smile. his family literally would not be caught dead near any holy water.
raising his cup of ice coffee to his mouth, changmin looks at the window, seeing none of the people passing by and ignoring how the sky continues to darken as he thinks about christmas, where his grandfather had glared at yunho right until he gave him his present to open. his grandfather had eased after that, had been genial and respectful to no end of yunho’s amusement.
“no, not really, but it’s a really long story.”
“we’ve got time,” victoria says, pointedly glancing at her watch. “probably need to head back to grab my stuff around nine, you place too, but we can go straight to hyunwoo’s then.”
“uh,” changmin starts, remembers what his father had said to him on christmas eve and tries narrowing down the best way to explain that he is living with someone and that they are just not his significant other to his wild minded best friend. a roll of thunder shakes the cafe windows, and changmin halts, clamps down on the forming lump of nausea in his throat, closes his eyes against the ring in his head. “i-”
“sounds great,” victoria grins, leaning forward.
changmin opens his eyes and frowns at her. “do you remember the story i told you during our second year?”
“japan?”
“no. the girl.”
“oh, the one that got away! i remember.”
changmin resists the urge to roll his eyes; the single time he told victoria about jihye she had gushed and cooed and made jokes in the concerns of his love life, claiming that she finally knew why he didn’t get close with anyone.
“whatever.” changmin huffs. “the point is that i ran into her brother that night.”
“woah. small world,” victoria murmurs around her straw, not once shifting her gaze away. changmin tries not to feel pinned by the stare, the storm outside already setting him on edges he shouldn’t be on.
“mhm. yunho lives in the building and by some miracle i lost my phone at the party. too late for buses and couldn’t call a cab, so. yunho offered to let me up and clean, i ended up crashing with him-”
“min min min, you sly dog-” changmin snorts, “-you slept with your ex’s brother?” victoria whispers, eyes widening and face flushing with excitement.
“no.” changmin says slowly, exasperated. “i slept in the guest room, not shit happened so cut it out, stop looking at me like that.”
victoria gives, pouts and goes back to sipping her drink, looking put out.
“he gave me a ride home after. he saw my place and… just-” changmin stops, unsure and also vaguely uncaring of his friend’s reaction.
“and?”
“and he offered to let me to be his roommate.” changmin lifts one shoulder in a shrug, purposely leaving out the finer details of the entire encounter. victoria doesn’t know that he had been taking out an extra loan check to keep living in his old apartment, and she doesn’t need to know now.
“you live with him?”
“yes. he’s not a terrible roommate-”
“rent free?” victoria sputters, incredulous, brows snapped and eyes ever wider.
“yes,” changmin says slowly, cautious about what victoria is getting at.
“in that building?” she screeches.
“vic, shut up,” changmin hisses, feeling rather than seeing the eyes of everyone in the cafe turn on them. the scent of curiosity and annoyance thickens in the air, and changmin frowns harder.
“changmin, you live with your ex-girlfriend’s brother for free in the most expensive condo in the entire city, and you didn’t think to tell me?”
changmin rubs the bridge of his nose gently, eyes shutting again. “not that it’s any of your business-”
“i’m your best friend-”
“not that it’s any of your business, it was all just really perfect timing.” changmin presses. “and for the record, yunho’s sister was never my girlfriend. that aside, trust me when i say that i wasn’t sure how to bring this up. you’re not exactly good at handling news.”
“and you’re sure you’re not sleeping with him?”
changmin fixes victoria with a glare, impatient, broken blue eyes snapping to her brown one’s with a sense of finality that makes her pause.
“i think i would know, victoria. yunho is just being gracious with me while i’m in school. he’s not a stranger, he’s an old friend-”
“i want to meet him.” victoria declares, standing abruptly, almost upsetting their drinks. “i have to make sure he won’t do anything to take advantage of you.”
that idea ranks right up there with changmin’s own prank of an idea to annoy yunho by hiding alarm clocks throughout the apartment to go off within minutes of one another in the middle in the night, an idea that had gotten him pulled out of a dead sleep and locked in the shower with cold water on blast.
that idea is awful.
“i’m not a child, vic.”
“changmin if you think i won’t find a way to meet him you are mistaken. it’s either now or later, mister. your choice.”
changmin wonders how long he can possibly postpone later, but the look on victoria’s face is bespoken with curious determination. never do those two emotions together do any good.
sucking in a breath between his teeth, changmin agrees reluctantly. he wants this over and done as soon as possible.
“fine.” he says shortly. “yunho’s home now. i’m going to call him though; it’s my home too but i’m not just going to bring you over unannounced.”
victoria beams. changmin ignores her pointedly, unlocking his phone. it’s not often that he calls yunho-they see eachother every day. unfortunately, yunho picks up immediately.
“changminnie,” he says, serious sounding despite the ridiculous nickname. “everything alright?”
stifling a groan and a shiver as the sky outside grows darker, changmin goes back to pressing his thumb between his eyes, headache easing into a full migraine. “victoria would like to meet you,” he says carefully. “i declined but you’ll find her damn determined.”
“that’s fine,” yunho says it dismissively, pauses, and, quiet and concerned, “are you sure you’re alright?”
changmin stares out the window, watches how the light drizzle of rain starts to tap at the glass. his head hurts. his gums ache.
he closes his eyes again. “mhm.” he hums, then, warning, not sure if yunho will be upset or not about bringing a human into their house, especially an inquisitive one. “we’ll be home in a few minutes.”
yunho makes an affirmitive sound. changmin hangs up. “come on,” he sighs, not bothering to finish his drink. his stomach roils dangerously, and he’s not sure if he’s going to choke, vomit, or get hungry first. victoria follows him out. the storm begins in earnest, rain pelting the ground.
victoria grabs his hand, and they make a dash for her car, doors slamming just as lightning cracks and the rain comes down hard. the city lights up with the flash. thunder booms.
changmin grips his seatbelt.
“god, it’s going to be bad.,” victoria says as she pulls out of the parking lot, quickly shifting traffic as it grows worse with the rain. the drive takes seven minutes, the elevator ride up takes two. not that changmin’s counting.
“top floor?”
“he’s an architect.”
“woah,” victoria breathes, nodding.
hesitating punching in the code for the door, changmin levels victoria a look.
“oh, anything i should be worried about?”
“yourself.” changmin responds tersely, snappish, serious. “yunho can be blunt. if he seems rude, trust me when i say it’s just him with people he doesn’t know that well. you should probably also not piss him off.”
“and how is he with you?” victoria presses, crossing her arms.
“christ, vic,” changmin grips the door handle with untamed force. he can hear the sound of rain hitting the windows inside; it beats dully in his head. the handle dents under his fingers. right now he doesn’t care. “he is my friend. that’s. it.”
victoria takes the hint, but changmin makes a point to stare at her for a good six seconds, until she squirms a bit, raises her hands defensively.
changmin punches the code in.
“oh my,” victoria gushes as changmin lets her step in before him. the rain is louder, the storm is raging, nothing if not impressive, and changmin reigns in his fear with a tight leash, masks the scent of it with long unused power. victoria walks to the windows and stares out at the quickly descending drape of darkness, city lights flickering on one by one, blurred by the fat drops of water trickling down the glass.
“this is amazing, min. you really, really live here?”
“he does,” yunho intones, there in an inhuman flicker of speed, one changmin himself almost doesn’t catch. yunho’s concealment reigns firmly in place as he comes from the kitchen. victoria jumps at his abruptness, turning, mouth open and ready with a plethora of questions that die before even reaching her lips.
changmin wants to bang his head against a wall, maybe take a chance at survival by jumping through the glass and into the storm.
yunho is prefectly disguised as human, but it doesn’t make him any less beautiful, especially not when he’s barefoot in a pair of slacks and his white work shirt unbuttoned just enough to be rumpled, or with his darkened hair in disarray. yunho looks like he just stepped off the front page of a magazine. or bed.
both, changmin muses wryly, dreadfully. he knows exactly what victoria is about to think.
“victoria, this is yunho.” changmin says tiredly. “yunho, this is one of my closest friends, victoria.”
“does your ex look anything like him?” victoria blurts bluntly, making changmin want to fall through every single story of the building, right to the concrete floor of the lowest level of the underground parking garage. “if she does, i totally and indefinitely understand you for clinging on to her like you do.”
changmin presses his hand to his face. “jihye isn’t my ex-”
“my sister and i are similar in looks,” yunho says plainly. something subtle crackles in the air, a minuscule shift in yunho’s aura, and changmin can already tell that he does not like victoria. he wouldn’t like her either if she gawked at him like she is.
yunho turns to changmin, voice carefully blank. “would our guest like anything?”
“i’ll get it,” changmin grapples onto that like a lifeline, makes his way to the kitchen. any space away from the fifteen square feet of icy fire that had instantly formed around yunho and victoria was definitely the better space, and safer by far, despite the open floor plan of the condo. changmin looks through the fridge meticulously, slow on purpose. he ignores the bottles of chilling wine and finally opts for one of the flavored waters. neither yunho or victoria mutter a sound as changmin pours, not even a single word when he gulps down the entire glass before refilling it, and then a second one.
changmin feels caught between predator and prey, his hackles rising as he offers yunho and victoria a glass each, and for the life of him, he can’t decide who he should be more concerned about.
victoria accepts one glass, eyes still glued to yunho, who regally accepts the second. changmin retreats back to the kitchen for his own, running his fingers through his damp hair in frustration, knotting them there, tugging. the edges of his hair brushes pass his jaw now. he’s going to have to trim it soon.
“maybe try sitting,” changmin suggests flatly, leaning on the counter, hating the way his voice almost cracks.
yunho’s voice is calm and cold, more reminiscent of the yunho changmin used to know years before. seemingly oblivious, victoria seats herself one one of the couches, keeps staring as yunho takes a seat across from her.
“are you and changmin sleeping together?” victoria asks forcefully.
changmin’s throat closes in on itself, heat rises up his body, his gums hurt something wicked.
“victoria song-”
“though i hardly see how who my preferred bed partners are any of your business,” yunho rumbles, interrupting changmin with a short, graceful raise of his hand. “we are not.”
“are you going to take advantage of him?” victoria shoots out.
“for the love-” changmin’s glass shatters in his hands. he exhales, runs water from the sink and ignores victoria’s glance. he picks a shard of glass from his palm, watches the blood drip and the skin stitch up.
the room seems to drop another ten degrees, and changmin hopes, almost prays, and pleads with the gods that it is because of the storm outside.
“i don’t have any interest of taking advantage of changmin.” yunho answers, and changmin stills where he is in the kitchen, locks his legs unconsciously. that tone is dangerous. “or betraying the trust that he so willingly places in me.”
the harsh shift in yunho is lost on victoria and all of her human senses; she is obliviously and recklessly interested, and changmin wonders if the evening will possibly end in bloodshed.
changmin gets another glass, uncaring of the stray shards he steps on, fills it and downs it again, moves for a refill. yunho holds his own glass up, and changmin quietly goes over and accepts it, sends a longing glance toward the kitchen.
“are you even gay?”
an unnamed emotion slams into changmin. he turns to vitoria, hair falling about from his previous tugging, and brows snapped down.
yunho beats him to speaking. “also none of your business.”
“are you single?”
“perhaps revisit my previous answer.”
“want to go to a party with us?”
silence echoes through the apartment, punctuated by a flash of lightning that startles changmin into movement. the usually noticeable hum of the house is gone. changmin feels his heartbeat pick up.
“i would probably rather have my internal organs cut out with a dull knife,” yunho says casually, examining a hand, flicking imaginary dirt from his nails.
changmin gives up any pretense of being comfortable, eases up on the right hold he had intended on holding. he swivels on his heel and strides to the kitchen, gets some distance from the inevitable fallout. if he’s lucky-and he is not-yunho will forget he is there. victoria too.
he stares at the floor, waiting for it to open. “any second now,” he mutters to himself.
“wow?” victoria reels, snaps. “you are such a jerk!”
“i rather that than whatever else you automatically presume.” yunho says flatly, casually, comfortably leaning into the couch with a royal air.
“seriously, who took a shit in your shoes today, you arrogant-”
“victoria,” changmin warns, frowning, steeling her with a hard look. he’s had enough. bad, bad idea. “i knew this wouldn’t end well, and yet i still gave you the benefit of the doubt. vic, yunho is not the person you seem hellbent on making him out to be. i’ve known him for years, he is closer to me than almost anyone.” he turns to yunho, meets his fake brown gaze with his unwavering blue one. “yunho, victoria is my friend, one of the few people who have stuck by me. you don’t have to like eachother, but don’t you dare do this. it’s a holiday for fucks sake.”
victoria makes a face, and a feeling of dread seeps down changmin’s spine. “and you were going to stay stuck up here in the place with him? god changmin, he can’t even get a date, and you’re going to take pity on him and miss out-”
the dread turns into anger, built up from over the course of the afternoon, hot and tinged with annoyance. changmin see’s slivers of ultraviolet. his leash is gone.
“did you not listen to a word i’ve said all day? i do not like parties, vic. i do not like the idea of going down to hyunwoo’s after what happened, which you clearly don’t care about, and i sure as shit don’t care for the idea of a new years kiss or love in the next year. it doesn’t matter if yunho has a date or not, what matters is you talking about him like the way you are. what in the hell is wrong with you?” changmin snaps, feels his gums split harshly as his teeth elongate. he clicks his mouth shut, the taste of his own blood strong, and venom flows from his canines, unbidden, numbing his tongue.
thunder shakes the windows. anger flips into fear, pungent and raw in the air. changmin ignores the way yunho’s stare finds him and stays, takes a breath, fighting the lightheaded feeling.
victoria looks at changmin with narrowed, angry eyes, mouth turned down, and stomps up to him.
“you’d rather stay here by yourself than hang out with me?”
changmin does his best to regulate the length of his teeth, bites out. “you said we’d hang out at the last one. funny how you ended up in a bedroom with someone between your legs.”
victoria’s face flushes red, and she steps back, embarrassment washing in with her anger.
“how did you-”
“i came looking for you, you know, after you left me alone? i walked in right before asshole of the year tried to assault me in the bathroom. if you want to party, fine. but it’s not for me, alright?”
“how do you know if you don’t even try it!”
changmin blinks, stares, dumbfounded and irresponsibly unamused, and then he calms. he stands straight, mouth tilting up just so as he looks at his friend. “because i did, victoria,” he says casually, evenly, at ease. “and i did not like it.”
victoria’s mouth opens, closes. she steps back again. something flashes across her face, and changmin looks without real emotion, unwavering, dauntless, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. victoria looks trapped. her lashes flutter, her face reddens more, she spins on her heel and stares at yunho, who is standing now, face impassive and eyes cold, appearing ready to pounce at the drop of a word.
“you,” victoria breathes angrily, pointing. “don’t you dare ever try to take advantage of him either. changmin is amazing and deserves only the best and if you even lay a finger on him you’re dead. i know you’re helping changmin out big time, and i respect that, but i don’t like you. at all.”
yunho gives a mirthless, wicked thing of a chuckle. “the feeling is mutual. tell me, though, are all of the men you associate yourself with such excellent examples of masculinity?”
“excuse me?”
“you jump to the conclusion that every person of the opposite sex you meet is terrible,” yunho elaborates dryly.
victoria narrows her eyes. “most of them aren’t that bad, they’re just in college. i’m sure even you had a phase where you were a complete asshole. it’s just how men are.”
a small, low noise comes from the back of changmin’s throat, his attempt to hide it turning the sound into a snort. yunho levels a look at him, and he shrugs.
“you’re correct in the fact that changmin is amazing. he deserves to be treated well and i have no designs on him,” yunho says conversationally to victoria, then, coldy, “do know that i would appreciate it if you did not come back until you can mind your tongue and speak with some civility.”
victoria bristles, mouth opening in protest, stopping when yunho’s hand raises again.
“girl, we are strangers. i do not appreciate some child i do not know coming into my home and speaking to me in such a manner, nor do i care for the questions of such a personal nature. more than anything i do not appreciate you pushing changmin into doing something he clearly did not wish to do and then hurting him the way you have.”
shoulders dropping, victoria seems to deflate. she turns to changmin, and he regards her with a blank, impassive stare.
“i was worried-” victoria starts, gesturing to the apartment around her, then turning to yunho. “even you have to admit it’s suspicious, right?”
“it would be understandable, if changmin was not a fully capable adult.” yunho states firmly. “he’s your friend, is he not? if he says he is comfortable you should trust him. not go out of your way to make him uncomfortable.”
“changmin,” victoria’s tone leans on a whine. she stops, sighs, shakes her head. “i’ll see you at school, min.”
“no,” changmin says plainly, uncaring at how victoria flinches, how sadness sharpens her usually enjoyable scent. “probably not.”
the apartment fills with the sound of relentless rain as victoria walks out of the door, closing it gently behind her with a click.
one beat, two, changmin sinks to the couch, curls in on himself and presses his hands to his face. “that went well,” he mutters quietly.
“your friend is rude.”
“i don’t think she’s my friend right now.” changmin moves his hands to his hair, tugging again. he stares out the windows blankly. “you’d think i’d be more jaded with how long i’ve been alive, right? i’m sorry, yunho. i didn’t think it would turn out this bad.”
lightning cracks, thunder rolls.
changmin chokes down a terrified sound, fingers pulling at his hair, eyes shutting. he ignores the feel of yunho’s gaze on him, counts to ten, sighs.
“i’m going to go change,” changmin says. it’s almost a whisper, quiet under the rain.
yunho’s stare is hard, seizing, compelling. changmin avoids it, and yunho says nothing as changmin makes for the stairs, movements heightened with a touch of demonic speed at another roll of thunder.
changmin shuts his door behind him and sags against it, forcing down the irrational fear of the storm and the surge of guilt from bringing victoria into their home. he had given into her demands, and he shouldn’t have. yunho is different, with pack. with him. but not with other people. the tolerance yunho graciously extends to changmin’s own family is for changmin, and will not extend towards his friends. he should have known that victoria would have grated against yunho’s temper. he should have said no.
changmin breathes through his mouth as the storm outside intensifies, distracts himself with a long, mental discussion about house rules and changes out of his jeans and sweater into gym shorts and a tshirt. he stands before his door and counts to ten again, checks himself and reigns in, leash tight, and finally steps out of his room. he makes his way downstairs carefully, tuning out the sound of the storm, focusing on the shallow thump of his heart, the thrum of the house.
yunho’s bracelet is off, and he is watching the storm outside with a neutral expression, almost surprisingly calm, though changmin supposes it’s natural. yunho is centuries old; he holds more control over himself than even some of the elders changmin has met. calm and cool is yunho’s default personality, though he doesn’t use it with changmin anymore.
changmin opens his mouth, “i’m sorry-”
“it’s not your fault. from an odd angle, i can see why she would be concerned. it was her questioning. her scent.” yunho sighs, relaxing a little, amber eyes darkening.
“her scent?” changmin questions. he hadn’t been paying that much attention, only after he’d snapped did he let his senses come into their natural focus.
“she was interested.”
“i figure you get that pretty often,” changmin laughs wryly. yunho glances at him, eyebrows arching, mouth tilting up at the corner by a fraction.
“mmn,” he says, turning back to the window. “it was the combination of it. i could smell her before she even entered the building. her concern turned false the moment she saw me, changmin. i don’t take lightly to deception.”
“i suppose it doesn’t matter,” changmin exhales, swinging his hands as another distraction, refusing to jump as lightning lights up the city below. “she won’t be coming back.”
“wonderful,” yunho says, eyes still cast to the storm. “do you actually wish to go out tonight?”
“the party is at hyunwoo’s,” changmin points out firmly. “i didn’t want to before and i definitely don’t want to now.”
“want to help me cook dinner?”
“i thought you were going out?”
“i make a point to avoid holidays that usually involve fireworks.”
changmin laughs, feeling lighter. “dinner it is, then.”
“are the boys at your school really-”
for a moment changmin thinks about the idiot who couldn’t take no for an answer without having to have his arms broken. “yunho,” he says, mildly amused. “do i look like i know, or care, for that matter,”
turning to look at changmin fully, yunho’s eyes flicker with the lightning outside. he takes in changmin, his dark broken blue eyes, his messy hair, the way his wifebeater settles across his collar bones, the smooth hard lines of his frame, and says, low, lids easing towards half mast,
“you look like you could have who you want, do what you want, and get away with it.”
changmin’s brows raise in the same second his heart skips. something he doesn’t want to acknowledge ricochets through him, pulses in his veins intently. his gums hurt for a different reason. ultraviolet turns into something deep and swirling. his mouth parts. yunho follows the movement.
changmin says nothing. can’t.
a beat. yunho chuckles that mirthless, wicked chuckle. it simmers through changmin. “has becoming part of the pack isolated you from others?”
changmin focuses on the undertone of concern in yunho’s swarthy voice, grips it, breathes.
“if anything being pack again has kept me from being alone. i’m trying to tackle in as many credits as i can, so not much time for socializing.” he says quietly, quieter still. “being here helps more than you know. you don’t have to worry about it.”
“your friend seemed to think otherwise.”
“victoria was just reacting to you and your wonderfully descriptive way of rejecting her. she doesn’t get rejected often. she’s gorgeous and the president of like four school clubs, and hasn’t been out of a relationship for more than four days. i don’t think anyone has told her no so… forcefully,”
“human boys have strange tastes,” yunho intones, gone from the window in one second, opening the refrigerator in another.
“show off,” changmin mumbles, walking over as yunho peers inside, pulls out two wrapped stakes. changmin almost grins at the way yunho says the word ‘strange’ and knows that he is not exactly being… nice. changmin also knows it’s not an apology by a long shot.
“humans like what they like.” changmin says, ignoring the lack of remorse in his own tone. “victoria is generally the kind of girl that boys generally like.”
yunho mutters something, and changmin cocks his head, hair swaying.
“say again?”
“i question their taste,” yunho says. “and sense.”
changmin has the distinct feeling that yunho is not being nice again, and knows for a fact that is not what he said. changmin turns the water in the sink on, grabs the hose.
“not highly recommended,” yunho says, still turned to the fridge.
“tell me what you said, then.”
“i question human taste-”
changmin presses down on the trigger. a burst of water hits the back of yunho’s shirt. it sticks to every line of muscle, shows the cut of his tattoo like birthmarks, wet and clinging and see through. changmin exhales out of his mouth. yunho turns to him, more than mildly annoyed.
“the truth, yunho.”
“and sense.”
a second burst of water, and yunho is stepping towards changmin like he’s on the hunt. changmin presses the trigger down, and watches how the front of his shirt soaks through, sticks, and leaves little to the imagination.
yunho’s mouth twitches.
“have it your way.”
yunho doesn’t haul changmin over his shoulder again, to changmin’s surprise. instead he reaches around him, dangerously close and exuding warmth, stare locked on changmin’s, and reaches under the sink.
changmin clings to the hose.
yunho lifts up a water gun, one that would have been monstrous if the color had been anything but neon green.
changmin presses down on the trigger, cursing at himself, because he definitely didn’t mean to, because “no, absolutely not-”
changmin yelps, gets soaked from scalp to toe, hair clinging about his jaw and water dripping to the floor. “happy now?” he asks, almost petulant at his obvious loss.
“quite. not only have i made my point, but this is the first reasonable suggestion my little sister has ever made.”
“this was jihye’s idea?”
“and gift,” yunho smiles, and it’s a little breathtaking.
“gonna strangle her,” changmin mutters, a little blind, walking from the kitchen and into the living room, collapsing on a couch.
“aren’t you going to change?” yunho asks, amused.
“i just changed. bite me.”
“careful, changminnie. it’s a demon you speak to.”
“a dog demon. so, what, you chase tires, too?”
“fair point.” yunho laughs, storing the water gun back under the sink. changmin makes a mental note to destroy it later, or at least hide it to never be found again. like in the trash can. or out the window. he looks up as yunho comes over, squishy noises and all, and sits down next to him. changmin feels water spreading further over the fabric of the seat.
“i’m not cleaning the couch.”
“you sat down first.”
changmin narrows his eyes and changes the subject. “takeout would be amazing right about now.”
“takeout it is,” yunho says easily.
“and beer. it’s been a while since i’ve had beer.”
yunho tugs his cellphone from his pocket and checks it, tsking when it doesn’t even light up.
“maybe we should get the really sleek indestructible ones,” changmin laughs quietly. “the kind you can put through the washing machine and they still come out alive.”
“not sure they make nokia’s anymore, but perhaps.” yunho mutters, amusement light in his voice as he walks back to the kitchen and retrieves the cordless. changmin watches him dial, senses turned inward and every thing muted down. he listens to the lull of yunho’s voice as he orders, the sound of his steps as he comes back and sits back down next to him, the motion punctuated by a strike of lightning and a roll of thunder that has changmin jumping, heart hammeringing, lungs burning.
yunho watches him, lips thinned, brows snapped down. he looks as if he’s about to ask.
“am i weird?” changmin questions, rushed, not wanting to talk about it, the ridiculous, out of water fear; he’s vampiric for gods sake, he doesn’t have irrational fears.
yunho allows it, sitting straighter still, gaze not once moving elsewhere.
“in what sense?”
“victoria makes dating and parties seem so normal. normal is something i strive for, but it’s just not… every time i mention being too busy with my studies victoria gives me this insanely sad look. and this new years thing. i swear to you she looked as if i lost my mind.”
“new years thing,” yunho half asks, still quiet. still watching.
“some teenage stupidity that has apparently carried into her adulthood.”
“you mean the new years kiss you told her you did not want,” yunho clarifies, head tilting back in recognition.
“not just that, but the meaning behind it, luck in love in the next year. i don’t need it, though there is a part of me that wonders if i make myself the odd one out for thinking that way. i don’t need it,” changmin repeats.
“then the question becomes a matter of do you want it, not if you need it, or think yourself weird.”
the light in the kitchen flickers, one, twice, and the power goes out with a quiet clicking sound.
“if that’s not a sign, i don’t know what is,” changmin mutters, standing, eyes immediately adjusting. “i’ll go find candles.”
they don’t need candles. changmin escapes anyway, suddenly feeling foolish, despite how a part of him still wonders even after decades of life and multiple flings. his answers to the questions of actually dating and actual love are always the same: no time, no need, no thanks. his business comes first always, and his degree comes first right now. yet in all of the time, he hasn’t once thought about wanting it. he hasn’t wanted for something in decades, and even though his studies are fulfilling and his pack probably the best support system, there are parts of him, old, unused, and untouched, that are beginning to ache, telling him that he does want it, is at the very least romanticizing it, to which he knows better.
perhaps, maybe giving into that romanticized vision is what has victoria going through relationships the way she does, one after the other, always excited about newness after growing bored with the last. it seems dangerous at best, futile and ultimately self destructive at worse.
changmin thinks of the way yunho set him on fire from the inside. his throat dries. he swallows fruitlessly. his stupid gums ache.
he exhales, lifting the jut of his palm to his teeth and nicking it, letting the nearly nonexistent pain ground him.
“better off with the degrees,” he mutters, finally upon the candles. he lets the cut knit, and then gathers a few thick candles with their bases in a stray towel. he carries the bundle down the stairs, sees yunho sitting on the couch still, staring out at the storm.
“i smelled blood.” yunho rumbles.
“just a cut,” changmin dismisses. he sets the candles up, and then looks to yunho, who’s turned to him. “so, alpha. how’s your magic?”
yunho says nothing, but the moment changmin steps back the candles light, burning blue before settling into the usual colored glow, casting flickering shadows across the room, the tables, the couches. changmin looks at yunho, in all of his ethereal, unconcealed beauty, and is reminded of what yunho really is as the shadows dance across his face. terrifying. a killer without mercy and a bloodlust like no other. the swirls of yunho’s birthmarks are visible, glimpsed via his undone buttons and dulled through the still wet parts of his shirt. they cut sharp, swirl down, further still to where changmin can’t see.
changmin forces his heart to stay slow.
“you are not strange.” yunho tells him sagely, serious just under the surface of his tone. “you see clearer than most, human and inhuman.”
“vague,” changmin mutters, settling unceremoniously onto the couch next to yunho. yunho laughs quietly, nodding in acknowledgement, and doesn’t offer to elaborate.
“perhaps it’s for the best,” changmin sighs quietly. “victoria believes in the fairy tale scenario but i’m the stuff of fairy tales. the idea of sweeping someone off of their feet, doing the little and big things, making them feel like the most important person in the world is her dream, and no one is perfect. they’ll leave the drawers open, or constantly misplace important things, maybe let their laundry go until there isn’t a clean thing left.” changmin scoffs, lets his eyes close as he sags deeper into the couch. “perhaps there is a bit of that in me, but to give in would mean trouble.”
a low, calming growl sounds from yunho’s chest. “you’ve proven my explanation.”
“how so?”
“you recognize your weakness and proceed to deal with it, albeit in your own, oddly unhealthy way.”
changmin’s eyes narrow, but yunho isn’t looking at him; his golden gaze is zeroed in on the front door as if waiting, and then he stands, four seconds, two before there is a knock on the door.
yunho’s wallet is as sopping wet as the delivery boy, and changmin can hear the kid’s heartbeat, fast and hard, and he guesses that the boy’s taken the stairs since the power is out.
“from the containers,” changmin demands as yunho comes back, bringing the warm smell of food with him. “beer?”
“soon.”
“does this mean we wait?”
“it’s your choice.”
changmin decides they wait, and for a moment there is a quiet accompanied by the rain against the windows. it doesn’t last, and yunho’s voice washes over him, smooth and low,
“the cicadas sing, in the twilight of my mountain village,”
“tonight, no one will visit, save the wind,” changmin finishes the poem with ease. “i’ve never pegged you for a hopeless romantic,” he laughs quietly.
“when my desire grows too fierce i wear my bed clothes inside out, dark as the night’s rough husk,” yunho recites, slow and deep, then, “i am more romantic than hopeless,” he says, mirth dancing in the darkened gold of his gaze. “not that you would know anything about that.”
the air between them gains a pressuring density. those words sound too much like an invitation, and changmin’s throat closes. “i wouldn’t.”
“a shame.”
fireworks go off in the distance, colorful and high despite the rain.
“i think it’s new years,” changmin says, trying to distract himself, voice small, body rung with a winding tension. suddenly the space between him and yunho doesn’t seem so far, and when yunho’s fingers curl under his chin to turn, to tilt just so, he almost wishes he were across the table, anywhere but in the electrifying space of yunho’s presence and the warmth of his touch.
“it is,” yunho says, kisses him chaste and sweet, firm. his fingers trail up his jaw to tangle in is hair, and changmin’s breath catches, a warm tingle flutters down his spine, a small sound gathers at the back of his throat, his body shudders, and he wants.
the power flicks back on, bright, intrusive. there is a knock at their door. the beer is here. yunho licks changmin’s bottom lip, once, and then rises, leaving changmin to stare after him with hazy, broken blue eyes.
yunho smiles an almost smile.
“i wish you luck in love in the next year.”
.[ 06 | 08 ]
.comments are ♥
6883w.
ao3
changmin presses his thumb to the spot between his eyes, hard, elbow digging into the cafe’s high table as he attempts to keep the headache trying to bloom there away.
“i do not want to go to another party.” he says crisply, exasperated, doing his best not to growl as victoria pleads and attempts to coax him on another night out.
it’s been months and victoria is completely unaware of changmin’s move as of yet, and changmin isn’t sure how much longer he cares to keep the secret. especially if it makes victoria shut up. as it is, changmin no longer lives as far from the campus and it’s hot spots as he once did, and he’s wary that victoria is going to offer him a ride due the storm forming so quick. changmin can feel it from inside; the way the scent of the air sharpens, the building pressure that raises his hair on end, the subtle quietness of the little animals that live in the city, unnoticed by humans. it makes him anxious. afraid.
he hates thunderstorms.
“i swear it won’t be like before. the asshole you told me about somehow ended up in the hospital the same night. turns out someone decided to stick up for you. he didn’t dish out who it was though.” victoria tells him, playing with her hair. “he said it was a demon, but as far as i can remember you were the only one dressed up supernaturally that night. didn’t know arms could even break that way.”
changmin looks at victoria, his teeth starting to ache at her ranting. he opens his mouth, annoyed and offended and with a few choice words to say, but he snaps his jaw shut as a wave of pain knocks through his skull with the thunder that rolls in from the distance. he presses his thumb to his forehead harder still, seizing his thoughts. he does not want to remember that night. that or the fact that yunho had decided to so viciously exact retribution on his behalf.
“i do not want to go to another party, victoria. i have plans for tonight.” changmin turns the lie over on his tongue, the taste of it unusually angry as he thinks. he’s not even sure if yunho is previously engaged for the night, but changmin knows that he will be happier with sitting at home curled up with seraphina than going down to hyunwoo’s for another hellish experience victoria so casually dubs “party.”
“c’mon min! it’s new years eve. besides, don’t you want a new years kiss or something?”
“a what.”
“lip locking at the minute of midnight! you could probably use one. it’s supposed to bring you luck in love for the next year.”
“victoria, please.” changmin complaines, tired. “i do not need any luck in love. if i need luck anywhere it’s in school and dealing with the men and women that are already in my life.”
victoria rolls her eyes. “what? your sisters and your dad can’t be that awful. or is your grandpa visiting, throwing holy water around at people that even come close to you again?”
changmin blinks, mirth tugging at his mouth. victoria has met none of his family, and she’s only going off of vague childhood stories he told her once a few years ago. his lips twitch into an almost smile. his family literally would not be caught dead near any holy water.
raising his cup of ice coffee to his mouth, changmin looks at the window, seeing none of the people passing by and ignoring how the sky continues to darken as he thinks about christmas, where his grandfather had glared at yunho right until he gave him his present to open. his grandfather had eased after that, had been genial and respectful to no end of yunho’s amusement.
“no, not really, but it’s a really long story.”
“we’ve got time,” victoria says, pointedly glancing at her watch. “probably need to head back to grab my stuff around nine, you place too, but we can go straight to hyunwoo’s then.”
“uh,” changmin starts, remembers what his father had said to him on christmas eve and tries narrowing down the best way to explain that he is living with someone and that they are just not his significant other to his wild minded best friend. a roll of thunder shakes the cafe windows, and changmin halts, clamps down on the forming lump of nausea in his throat, closes his eyes against the ring in his head. “i-”
“sounds great,” victoria grins, leaning forward.
changmin opens his eyes and frowns at her. “do you remember the story i told you during our second year?”
“japan?”
“no. the girl.”
“oh, the one that got away! i remember.”
changmin resists the urge to roll his eyes; the single time he told victoria about jihye she had gushed and cooed and made jokes in the concerns of his love life, claiming that she finally knew why he didn’t get close with anyone.
“whatever.” changmin huffs. “the point is that i ran into her brother that night.”
“woah. small world,” victoria murmurs around her straw, not once shifting her gaze away. changmin tries not to feel pinned by the stare, the storm outside already setting him on edges he shouldn’t be on.
“mhm. yunho lives in the building and by some miracle i lost my phone at the party. too late for buses and couldn’t call a cab, so. yunho offered to let me up and clean, i ended up crashing with him-”
“min min min, you sly dog-” changmin snorts, “-you slept with your ex’s brother?” victoria whispers, eyes widening and face flushing with excitement.
“no.” changmin says slowly, exasperated. “i slept in the guest room, not shit happened so cut it out, stop looking at me like that.”
victoria gives, pouts and goes back to sipping her drink, looking put out.
“he gave me a ride home after. he saw my place and… just-” changmin stops, unsure and also vaguely uncaring of his friend’s reaction.
“and?”
“and he offered to let me to be his roommate.” changmin lifts one shoulder in a shrug, purposely leaving out the finer details of the entire encounter. victoria doesn’t know that he had been taking out an extra loan check to keep living in his old apartment, and she doesn’t need to know now.
“you live with him?”
“yes. he’s not a terrible roommate-”
“rent free?” victoria sputters, incredulous, brows snapped and eyes ever wider.
“yes,” changmin says slowly, cautious about what victoria is getting at.
“in that building?” she screeches.
“vic, shut up,” changmin hisses, feeling rather than seeing the eyes of everyone in the cafe turn on them. the scent of curiosity and annoyance thickens in the air, and changmin frowns harder.
“changmin, you live with your ex-girlfriend’s brother for free in the most expensive condo in the entire city, and you didn’t think to tell me?”
changmin rubs the bridge of his nose gently, eyes shutting again. “not that it’s any of your business-”
“i’m your best friend-”
“not that it’s any of your business, it was all just really perfect timing.” changmin presses. “and for the record, yunho’s sister was never my girlfriend. that aside, trust me when i say that i wasn’t sure how to bring this up. you’re not exactly good at handling news.”
“and you’re sure you’re not sleeping with him?”
changmin fixes victoria with a glare, impatient, broken blue eyes snapping to her brown one’s with a sense of finality that makes her pause.
“i think i would know, victoria. yunho is just being gracious with me while i’m in school. he’s not a stranger, he’s an old friend-”
“i want to meet him.” victoria declares, standing abruptly, almost upsetting their drinks. “i have to make sure he won’t do anything to take advantage of you.”
that idea ranks right up there with changmin’s own prank of an idea to annoy yunho by hiding alarm clocks throughout the apartment to go off within minutes of one another in the middle in the night, an idea that had gotten him pulled out of a dead sleep and locked in the shower with cold water on blast.
that idea is awful.
“i’m not a child, vic.”
“changmin if you think i won’t find a way to meet him you are mistaken. it’s either now or later, mister. your choice.”
changmin wonders how long he can possibly postpone later, but the look on victoria’s face is bespoken with curious determination. never do those two emotions together do any good.
sucking in a breath between his teeth, changmin agrees reluctantly. he wants this over and done as soon as possible.
“fine.” he says shortly. “yunho’s home now. i’m going to call him though; it’s my home too but i’m not just going to bring you over unannounced.”
victoria beams. changmin ignores her pointedly, unlocking his phone. it’s not often that he calls yunho-they see eachother every day. unfortunately, yunho picks up immediately.
“changminnie,” he says, serious sounding despite the ridiculous nickname. “everything alright?”
stifling a groan and a shiver as the sky outside grows darker, changmin goes back to pressing his thumb between his eyes, headache easing into a full migraine. “victoria would like to meet you,” he says carefully. “i declined but you’ll find her damn determined.”
“that’s fine,” yunho says it dismissively, pauses, and, quiet and concerned, “are you sure you’re alright?”
changmin stares out the window, watches how the light drizzle of rain starts to tap at the glass. his head hurts. his gums ache.
he closes his eyes again. “mhm.” he hums, then, warning, not sure if yunho will be upset or not about bringing a human into their house, especially an inquisitive one. “we’ll be home in a few minutes.”
yunho makes an affirmitive sound. changmin hangs up. “come on,” he sighs, not bothering to finish his drink. his stomach roils dangerously, and he’s not sure if he’s going to choke, vomit, or get hungry first. victoria follows him out. the storm begins in earnest, rain pelting the ground.
victoria grabs his hand, and they make a dash for her car, doors slamming just as lightning cracks and the rain comes down hard. the city lights up with the flash. thunder booms.
changmin grips his seatbelt.
“god, it’s going to be bad.,” victoria says as she pulls out of the parking lot, quickly shifting traffic as it grows worse with the rain. the drive takes seven minutes, the elevator ride up takes two. not that changmin’s counting.
“top floor?”
“he’s an architect.”
“woah,” victoria breathes, nodding.
hesitating punching in the code for the door, changmin levels victoria a look.
“oh, anything i should be worried about?”
“yourself.” changmin responds tersely, snappish, serious. “yunho can be blunt. if he seems rude, trust me when i say it’s just him with people he doesn’t know that well. you should probably also not piss him off.”
“and how is he with you?” victoria presses, crossing her arms.
“christ, vic,” changmin grips the door handle with untamed force. he can hear the sound of rain hitting the windows inside; it beats dully in his head. the handle dents under his fingers. right now he doesn’t care. “he is my friend. that’s. it.”
victoria takes the hint, but changmin makes a point to stare at her for a good six seconds, until she squirms a bit, raises her hands defensively.
changmin punches the code in.
“oh my,” victoria gushes as changmin lets her step in before him. the rain is louder, the storm is raging, nothing if not impressive, and changmin reigns in his fear with a tight leash, masks the scent of it with long unused power. victoria walks to the windows and stares out at the quickly descending drape of darkness, city lights flickering on one by one, blurred by the fat drops of water trickling down the glass.
“this is amazing, min. you really, really live here?”
“he does,” yunho intones, there in an inhuman flicker of speed, one changmin himself almost doesn’t catch. yunho’s concealment reigns firmly in place as he comes from the kitchen. victoria jumps at his abruptness, turning, mouth open and ready with a plethora of questions that die before even reaching her lips.
changmin wants to bang his head against a wall, maybe take a chance at survival by jumping through the glass and into the storm.
yunho is prefectly disguised as human, but it doesn’t make him any less beautiful, especially not when he’s barefoot in a pair of slacks and his white work shirt unbuttoned just enough to be rumpled, or with his darkened hair in disarray. yunho looks like he just stepped off the front page of a magazine. or bed.
both, changmin muses wryly, dreadfully. he knows exactly what victoria is about to think.
“victoria, this is yunho.” changmin says tiredly. “yunho, this is one of my closest friends, victoria.”
“does your ex look anything like him?” victoria blurts bluntly, making changmin want to fall through every single story of the building, right to the concrete floor of the lowest level of the underground parking garage. “if she does, i totally and indefinitely understand you for clinging on to her like you do.”
changmin presses his hand to his face. “jihye isn’t my ex-”
“my sister and i are similar in looks,” yunho says plainly. something subtle crackles in the air, a minuscule shift in yunho’s aura, and changmin can already tell that he does not like victoria. he wouldn’t like her either if she gawked at him like she is.
yunho turns to changmin, voice carefully blank. “would our guest like anything?”
“i’ll get it,” changmin grapples onto that like a lifeline, makes his way to the kitchen. any space away from the fifteen square feet of icy fire that had instantly formed around yunho and victoria was definitely the better space, and safer by far, despite the open floor plan of the condo. changmin looks through the fridge meticulously, slow on purpose. he ignores the bottles of chilling wine and finally opts for one of the flavored waters. neither yunho or victoria mutter a sound as changmin pours, not even a single word when he gulps down the entire glass before refilling it, and then a second one.
changmin feels caught between predator and prey, his hackles rising as he offers yunho and victoria a glass each, and for the life of him, he can’t decide who he should be more concerned about.
victoria accepts one glass, eyes still glued to yunho, who regally accepts the second. changmin retreats back to the kitchen for his own, running his fingers through his damp hair in frustration, knotting them there, tugging. the edges of his hair brushes pass his jaw now. he’s going to have to trim it soon.
“maybe try sitting,” changmin suggests flatly, leaning on the counter, hating the way his voice almost cracks.
yunho’s voice is calm and cold, more reminiscent of the yunho changmin used to know years before. seemingly oblivious, victoria seats herself one one of the couches, keeps staring as yunho takes a seat across from her.
“are you and changmin sleeping together?” victoria asks forcefully.
changmin’s throat closes in on itself, heat rises up his body, his gums hurt something wicked.
“victoria song-”
“though i hardly see how who my preferred bed partners are any of your business,” yunho rumbles, interrupting changmin with a short, graceful raise of his hand. “we are not.”
“are you going to take advantage of him?” victoria shoots out.
“for the love-” changmin’s glass shatters in his hands. he exhales, runs water from the sink and ignores victoria’s glance. he picks a shard of glass from his palm, watches the blood drip and the skin stitch up.
the room seems to drop another ten degrees, and changmin hopes, almost prays, and pleads with the gods that it is because of the storm outside.
“i don’t have any interest of taking advantage of changmin.” yunho answers, and changmin stills where he is in the kitchen, locks his legs unconsciously. that tone is dangerous. “or betraying the trust that he so willingly places in me.”
the harsh shift in yunho is lost on victoria and all of her human senses; she is obliviously and recklessly interested, and changmin wonders if the evening will possibly end in bloodshed.
changmin gets another glass, uncaring of the stray shards he steps on, fills it and downs it again, moves for a refill. yunho holds his own glass up, and changmin quietly goes over and accepts it, sends a longing glance toward the kitchen.
“are you even gay?”
an unnamed emotion slams into changmin. he turns to vitoria, hair falling about from his previous tugging, and brows snapped down.
yunho beats him to speaking. “also none of your business.”
“are you single?”
“perhaps revisit my previous answer.”
“want to go to a party with us?”
silence echoes through the apartment, punctuated by a flash of lightning that startles changmin into movement. the usually noticeable hum of the house is gone. changmin feels his heartbeat pick up.
“i would probably rather have my internal organs cut out with a dull knife,” yunho says casually, examining a hand, flicking imaginary dirt from his nails.
changmin gives up any pretense of being comfortable, eases up on the right hold he had intended on holding. he swivels on his heel and strides to the kitchen, gets some distance from the inevitable fallout. if he’s lucky-and he is not-yunho will forget he is there. victoria too.
he stares at the floor, waiting for it to open. “any second now,” he mutters to himself.
“wow?” victoria reels, snaps. “you are such a jerk!”
“i rather that than whatever else you automatically presume.” yunho says flatly, casually, comfortably leaning into the couch with a royal air.
“seriously, who took a shit in your shoes today, you arrogant-”
“victoria,” changmin warns, frowning, steeling her with a hard look. he’s had enough. bad, bad idea. “i knew this wouldn’t end well, and yet i still gave you the benefit of the doubt. vic, yunho is not the person you seem hellbent on making him out to be. i’ve known him for years, he is closer to me than almost anyone.” he turns to yunho, meets his fake brown gaze with his unwavering blue one. “yunho, victoria is my friend, one of the few people who have stuck by me. you don’t have to like eachother, but don’t you dare do this. it’s a holiday for fucks sake.”
victoria makes a face, and a feeling of dread seeps down changmin’s spine. “and you were going to stay stuck up here in the place with him? god changmin, he can’t even get a date, and you’re going to take pity on him and miss out-”
the dread turns into anger, built up from over the course of the afternoon, hot and tinged with annoyance. changmin see’s slivers of ultraviolet. his leash is gone.
“did you not listen to a word i’ve said all day? i do not like parties, vic. i do not like the idea of going down to hyunwoo’s after what happened, which you clearly don’t care about, and i sure as shit don’t care for the idea of a new years kiss or love in the next year. it doesn’t matter if yunho has a date or not, what matters is you talking about him like the way you are. what in the hell is wrong with you?” changmin snaps, feels his gums split harshly as his teeth elongate. he clicks his mouth shut, the taste of his own blood strong, and venom flows from his canines, unbidden, numbing his tongue.
thunder shakes the windows. anger flips into fear, pungent and raw in the air. changmin ignores the way yunho’s stare finds him and stays, takes a breath, fighting the lightheaded feeling.
victoria looks at changmin with narrowed, angry eyes, mouth turned down, and stomps up to him.
“you’d rather stay here by yourself than hang out with me?”
changmin does his best to regulate the length of his teeth, bites out. “you said we’d hang out at the last one. funny how you ended up in a bedroom with someone between your legs.”
victoria’s face flushes red, and she steps back, embarrassment washing in with her anger.
“how did you-”
“i came looking for you, you know, after you left me alone? i walked in right before asshole of the year tried to assault me in the bathroom. if you want to party, fine. but it’s not for me, alright?”
“how do you know if you don’t even try it!”
changmin blinks, stares, dumbfounded and irresponsibly unamused, and then he calms. he stands straight, mouth tilting up just so as he looks at his friend. “because i did, victoria,” he says casually, evenly, at ease. “and i did not like it.”
victoria’s mouth opens, closes. she steps back again. something flashes across her face, and changmin looks without real emotion, unwavering, dauntless, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. victoria looks trapped. her lashes flutter, her face reddens more, she spins on her heel and stares at yunho, who is standing now, face impassive and eyes cold, appearing ready to pounce at the drop of a word.
“you,” victoria breathes angrily, pointing. “don’t you dare ever try to take advantage of him either. changmin is amazing and deserves only the best and if you even lay a finger on him you’re dead. i know you’re helping changmin out big time, and i respect that, but i don’t like you. at all.”
yunho gives a mirthless, wicked thing of a chuckle. “the feeling is mutual. tell me, though, are all of the men you associate yourself with such excellent examples of masculinity?”
“excuse me?”
“you jump to the conclusion that every person of the opposite sex you meet is terrible,” yunho elaborates dryly.
victoria narrows her eyes. “most of them aren’t that bad, they’re just in college. i’m sure even you had a phase where you were a complete asshole. it’s just how men are.”
a small, low noise comes from the back of changmin’s throat, his attempt to hide it turning the sound into a snort. yunho levels a look at him, and he shrugs.
“you’re correct in the fact that changmin is amazing. he deserves to be treated well and i have no designs on him,” yunho says conversationally to victoria, then, coldy, “do know that i would appreciate it if you did not come back until you can mind your tongue and speak with some civility.”
victoria bristles, mouth opening in protest, stopping when yunho’s hand raises again.
“girl, we are strangers. i do not appreciate some child i do not know coming into my home and speaking to me in such a manner, nor do i care for the questions of such a personal nature. more than anything i do not appreciate you pushing changmin into doing something he clearly did not wish to do and then hurting him the way you have.”
shoulders dropping, victoria seems to deflate. she turns to changmin, and he regards her with a blank, impassive stare.
“i was worried-” victoria starts, gesturing to the apartment around her, then turning to yunho. “even you have to admit it’s suspicious, right?”
“it would be understandable, if changmin was not a fully capable adult.” yunho states firmly. “he’s your friend, is he not? if he says he is comfortable you should trust him. not go out of your way to make him uncomfortable.”
“changmin,” victoria’s tone leans on a whine. she stops, sighs, shakes her head. “i’ll see you at school, min.”
“no,” changmin says plainly, uncaring at how victoria flinches, how sadness sharpens her usually enjoyable scent. “probably not.”
the apartment fills with the sound of relentless rain as victoria walks out of the door, closing it gently behind her with a click.
one beat, two, changmin sinks to the couch, curls in on himself and presses his hands to his face. “that went well,” he mutters quietly.
“your friend is rude.”
“i don’t think she’s my friend right now.” changmin moves his hands to his hair, tugging again. he stares out the windows blankly. “you’d think i’d be more jaded with how long i’ve been alive, right? i’m sorry, yunho. i didn’t think it would turn out this bad.”
lightning cracks, thunder rolls.
changmin chokes down a terrified sound, fingers pulling at his hair, eyes shutting. he ignores the feel of yunho’s gaze on him, counts to ten, sighs.
“i’m going to go change,” changmin says. it’s almost a whisper, quiet under the rain.
yunho’s stare is hard, seizing, compelling. changmin avoids it, and yunho says nothing as changmin makes for the stairs, movements heightened with a touch of demonic speed at another roll of thunder.
changmin shuts his door behind him and sags against it, forcing down the irrational fear of the storm and the surge of guilt from bringing victoria into their home. he had given into her demands, and he shouldn’t have. yunho is different, with pack. with him. but not with other people. the tolerance yunho graciously extends to changmin’s own family is for changmin, and will not extend towards his friends. he should have known that victoria would have grated against yunho’s temper. he should have said no.
changmin breathes through his mouth as the storm outside intensifies, distracts himself with a long, mental discussion about house rules and changes out of his jeans and sweater into gym shorts and a tshirt. he stands before his door and counts to ten again, checks himself and reigns in, leash tight, and finally steps out of his room. he makes his way downstairs carefully, tuning out the sound of the storm, focusing on the shallow thump of his heart, the thrum of the house.
yunho’s bracelet is off, and he is watching the storm outside with a neutral expression, almost surprisingly calm, though changmin supposes it’s natural. yunho is centuries old; he holds more control over himself than even some of the elders changmin has met. calm and cool is yunho’s default personality, though he doesn’t use it with changmin anymore.
changmin opens his mouth, “i’m sorry-”
“it’s not your fault. from an odd angle, i can see why she would be concerned. it was her questioning. her scent.” yunho sighs, relaxing a little, amber eyes darkening.
“her scent?” changmin questions. he hadn’t been paying that much attention, only after he’d snapped did he let his senses come into their natural focus.
“she was interested.”
“i figure you get that pretty often,” changmin laughs wryly. yunho glances at him, eyebrows arching, mouth tilting up at the corner by a fraction.
“mmn,” he says, turning back to the window. “it was the combination of it. i could smell her before she even entered the building. her concern turned false the moment she saw me, changmin. i don’t take lightly to deception.”
“i suppose it doesn’t matter,” changmin exhales, swinging his hands as another distraction, refusing to jump as lightning lights up the city below. “she won’t be coming back.”
“wonderful,” yunho says, eyes still cast to the storm. “do you actually wish to go out tonight?”
“the party is at hyunwoo’s,” changmin points out firmly. “i didn’t want to before and i definitely don’t want to now.”
“want to help me cook dinner?”
“i thought you were going out?”
“i make a point to avoid holidays that usually involve fireworks.”
changmin laughs, feeling lighter. “dinner it is, then.”
“are the boys at your school really-”
for a moment changmin thinks about the idiot who couldn’t take no for an answer without having to have his arms broken. “yunho,” he says, mildly amused. “do i look like i know, or care, for that matter,”
turning to look at changmin fully, yunho’s eyes flicker with the lightning outside. he takes in changmin, his dark broken blue eyes, his messy hair, the way his wifebeater settles across his collar bones, the smooth hard lines of his frame, and says, low, lids easing towards half mast,
“you look like you could have who you want, do what you want, and get away with it.”
changmin’s brows raise in the same second his heart skips. something he doesn’t want to acknowledge ricochets through him, pulses in his veins intently. his gums hurt for a different reason. ultraviolet turns into something deep and swirling. his mouth parts. yunho follows the movement.
changmin says nothing. can’t.
a beat. yunho chuckles that mirthless, wicked chuckle. it simmers through changmin. “has becoming part of the pack isolated you from others?”
changmin focuses on the undertone of concern in yunho’s swarthy voice, grips it, breathes.
“if anything being pack again has kept me from being alone. i’m trying to tackle in as many credits as i can, so not much time for socializing.” he says quietly, quieter still. “being here helps more than you know. you don’t have to worry about it.”
“your friend seemed to think otherwise.”
“victoria was just reacting to you and your wonderfully descriptive way of rejecting her. she doesn’t get rejected often. she’s gorgeous and the president of like four school clubs, and hasn’t been out of a relationship for more than four days. i don’t think anyone has told her no so… forcefully,”
“human boys have strange tastes,” yunho intones, gone from the window in one second, opening the refrigerator in another.
“show off,” changmin mumbles, walking over as yunho peers inside, pulls out two wrapped stakes. changmin almost grins at the way yunho says the word ‘strange’ and knows that he is not exactly being… nice. changmin also knows it’s not an apology by a long shot.
“humans like what they like.” changmin says, ignoring the lack of remorse in his own tone. “victoria is generally the kind of girl that boys generally like.”
yunho mutters something, and changmin cocks his head, hair swaying.
“say again?”
“i question their taste,” yunho says. “and sense.”
changmin has the distinct feeling that yunho is not being nice again, and knows for a fact that is not what he said. changmin turns the water in the sink on, grabs the hose.
“not highly recommended,” yunho says, still turned to the fridge.
“tell me what you said, then.”
“i question human taste-”
changmin presses down on the trigger. a burst of water hits the back of yunho’s shirt. it sticks to every line of muscle, shows the cut of his tattoo like birthmarks, wet and clinging and see through. changmin exhales out of his mouth. yunho turns to him, more than mildly annoyed.
“the truth, yunho.”
“and sense.”
a second burst of water, and yunho is stepping towards changmin like he’s on the hunt. changmin presses the trigger down, and watches how the front of his shirt soaks through, sticks, and leaves little to the imagination.
yunho’s mouth twitches.
“have it your way.”
yunho doesn’t haul changmin over his shoulder again, to changmin’s surprise. instead he reaches around him, dangerously close and exuding warmth, stare locked on changmin’s, and reaches under the sink.
changmin clings to the hose.
yunho lifts up a water gun, one that would have been monstrous if the color had been anything but neon green.
changmin presses down on the trigger, cursing at himself, because he definitely didn’t mean to, because “no, absolutely not-”
changmin yelps, gets soaked from scalp to toe, hair clinging about his jaw and water dripping to the floor. “happy now?” he asks, almost petulant at his obvious loss.
“quite. not only have i made my point, but this is the first reasonable suggestion my little sister has ever made.”
“this was jihye’s idea?”
“and gift,” yunho smiles, and it’s a little breathtaking.
“gonna strangle her,” changmin mutters, a little blind, walking from the kitchen and into the living room, collapsing on a couch.
“aren’t you going to change?” yunho asks, amused.
“i just changed. bite me.”
“careful, changminnie. it’s a demon you speak to.”
“a dog demon. so, what, you chase tires, too?”
“fair point.” yunho laughs, storing the water gun back under the sink. changmin makes a mental note to destroy it later, or at least hide it to never be found again. like in the trash can. or out the window. he looks up as yunho comes over, squishy noises and all, and sits down next to him. changmin feels water spreading further over the fabric of the seat.
“i’m not cleaning the couch.”
“you sat down first.”
changmin narrows his eyes and changes the subject. “takeout would be amazing right about now.”
“takeout it is,” yunho says easily.
“and beer. it’s been a while since i’ve had beer.”
yunho tugs his cellphone from his pocket and checks it, tsking when it doesn’t even light up.
“maybe we should get the really sleek indestructible ones,” changmin laughs quietly. “the kind you can put through the washing machine and they still come out alive.”
“not sure they make nokia’s anymore, but perhaps.” yunho mutters, amusement light in his voice as he walks back to the kitchen and retrieves the cordless. changmin watches him dial, senses turned inward and every thing muted down. he listens to the lull of yunho’s voice as he orders, the sound of his steps as he comes back and sits back down next to him, the motion punctuated by a strike of lightning and a roll of thunder that has changmin jumping, heart hammeringing, lungs burning.
yunho watches him, lips thinned, brows snapped down. he looks as if he’s about to ask.
“am i weird?” changmin questions, rushed, not wanting to talk about it, the ridiculous, out of water fear; he’s vampiric for gods sake, he doesn’t have irrational fears.
yunho allows it, sitting straighter still, gaze not once moving elsewhere.
“in what sense?”
“victoria makes dating and parties seem so normal. normal is something i strive for, but it’s just not… every time i mention being too busy with my studies victoria gives me this insanely sad look. and this new years thing. i swear to you she looked as if i lost my mind.”
“new years thing,” yunho half asks, still quiet. still watching.
“some teenage stupidity that has apparently carried into her adulthood.”
“you mean the new years kiss you told her you did not want,” yunho clarifies, head tilting back in recognition.
“not just that, but the meaning behind it, luck in love in the next year. i don’t need it, though there is a part of me that wonders if i make myself the odd one out for thinking that way. i don’t need it,” changmin repeats.
“then the question becomes a matter of do you want it, not if you need it, or think yourself weird.”
the light in the kitchen flickers, one, twice, and the power goes out with a quiet clicking sound.
“if that’s not a sign, i don’t know what is,” changmin mutters, standing, eyes immediately adjusting. “i’ll go find candles.”
they don’t need candles. changmin escapes anyway, suddenly feeling foolish, despite how a part of him still wonders even after decades of life and multiple flings. his answers to the questions of actually dating and actual love are always the same: no time, no need, no thanks. his business comes first always, and his degree comes first right now. yet in all of the time, he hasn’t once thought about wanting it. he hasn’t wanted for something in decades, and even though his studies are fulfilling and his pack probably the best support system, there are parts of him, old, unused, and untouched, that are beginning to ache, telling him that he does want it, is at the very least romanticizing it, to which he knows better.
perhaps, maybe giving into that romanticized vision is what has victoria going through relationships the way she does, one after the other, always excited about newness after growing bored with the last. it seems dangerous at best, futile and ultimately self destructive at worse.
changmin thinks of the way yunho set him on fire from the inside. his throat dries. he swallows fruitlessly. his stupid gums ache.
he exhales, lifting the jut of his palm to his teeth and nicking it, letting the nearly nonexistent pain ground him.
“better off with the degrees,” he mutters, finally upon the candles. he lets the cut knit, and then gathers a few thick candles with their bases in a stray towel. he carries the bundle down the stairs, sees yunho sitting on the couch still, staring out at the storm.
“i smelled blood.” yunho rumbles.
“just a cut,” changmin dismisses. he sets the candles up, and then looks to yunho, who’s turned to him. “so, alpha. how’s your magic?”
yunho says nothing, but the moment changmin steps back the candles light, burning blue before settling into the usual colored glow, casting flickering shadows across the room, the tables, the couches. changmin looks at yunho, in all of his ethereal, unconcealed beauty, and is reminded of what yunho really is as the shadows dance across his face. terrifying. a killer without mercy and a bloodlust like no other. the swirls of yunho’s birthmarks are visible, glimpsed via his undone buttons and dulled through the still wet parts of his shirt. they cut sharp, swirl down, further still to where changmin can’t see.
changmin forces his heart to stay slow.
“you are not strange.” yunho tells him sagely, serious just under the surface of his tone. “you see clearer than most, human and inhuman.”
“vague,” changmin mutters, settling unceremoniously onto the couch next to yunho. yunho laughs quietly, nodding in acknowledgement, and doesn’t offer to elaborate.
“perhaps it’s for the best,” changmin sighs quietly. “victoria believes in the fairy tale scenario but i’m the stuff of fairy tales. the idea of sweeping someone off of their feet, doing the little and big things, making them feel like the most important person in the world is her dream, and no one is perfect. they’ll leave the drawers open, or constantly misplace important things, maybe let their laundry go until there isn’t a clean thing left.” changmin scoffs, lets his eyes close as he sags deeper into the couch. “perhaps there is a bit of that in me, but to give in would mean trouble.”
a low, calming growl sounds from yunho’s chest. “you’ve proven my explanation.”
“how so?”
“you recognize your weakness and proceed to deal with it, albeit in your own, oddly unhealthy way.”
changmin’s eyes narrow, but yunho isn’t looking at him; his golden gaze is zeroed in on the front door as if waiting, and then he stands, four seconds, two before there is a knock on the door.
yunho’s wallet is as sopping wet as the delivery boy, and changmin can hear the kid’s heartbeat, fast and hard, and he guesses that the boy’s taken the stairs since the power is out.
“from the containers,” changmin demands as yunho comes back, bringing the warm smell of food with him. “beer?”
“soon.”
“does this mean we wait?”
“it’s your choice.”
changmin decides they wait, and for a moment there is a quiet accompanied by the rain against the windows. it doesn’t last, and yunho’s voice washes over him, smooth and low,
“the cicadas sing, in the twilight of my mountain village,”
“tonight, no one will visit, save the wind,” changmin finishes the poem with ease. “i’ve never pegged you for a hopeless romantic,” he laughs quietly.
“when my desire grows too fierce i wear my bed clothes inside out, dark as the night’s rough husk,” yunho recites, slow and deep, then, “i am more romantic than hopeless,” he says, mirth dancing in the darkened gold of his gaze. “not that you would know anything about that.”
the air between them gains a pressuring density. those words sound too much like an invitation, and changmin’s throat closes. “i wouldn’t.”
“a shame.”
fireworks go off in the distance, colorful and high despite the rain.
“i think it’s new years,” changmin says, trying to distract himself, voice small, body rung with a winding tension. suddenly the space between him and yunho doesn’t seem so far, and when yunho’s fingers curl under his chin to turn, to tilt just so, he almost wishes he were across the table, anywhere but in the electrifying space of yunho’s presence and the warmth of his touch.
“it is,” yunho says, kisses him chaste and sweet, firm. his fingers trail up his jaw to tangle in is hair, and changmin’s breath catches, a warm tingle flutters down his spine, a small sound gathers at the back of his throat, his body shudders, and he wants.
the power flicks back on, bright, intrusive. there is a knock at their door. the beer is here. yunho licks changmin’s bottom lip, once, and then rises, leaving changmin to stare after him with hazy, broken blue eyes.
yunho smiles an almost smile.
“i wish you luck in love in the next year.”
.[ 06 | 08 ]
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