Soothing my soul
I'm back for an update so that I don't forget what I have been up to, and all the little thoughts I have been having.
Despite not having Sunday free last weekend, I was in good spirits on Monday and Tuesday. Maybe because of the euphoria of having got a lot done. Maybe also partly hormones. Wednesday, I was also feeling fine up until my 11 a.m. class and then everything went downhill from there. My Wednesday 11 a.m. class is an adult class of two ladies that I really enjoy. We talk about our lives, our worries, our good days and bad, our plans etc. It's almost like having some friends. So much so that I forget sometimes that we are not. I'm the teacher, they are the students, I am the foreigner and they are the Japanese people who will never ever accept me as anything other than an outsider no matter how close we might be. One of these ladies sings in a choir - a publicly funded choir that is created for the purpose of singing in two concerts a year, usually along with an orchestra and with some famous soloists. We talk about singing in class. The other lady is into hula and oil painting. I had been telling them both about my choir's concert in December since probably January of this year. Of course it became unsure whether we would go ahead with the concert due to COVID, but it was decided in September that we would, and I had told them this at the time. Two weeks ago, I told the first lady again and told her I would have tickets and posters the next week if she would like to come. She told me she would pay for a ticket beforehand if I preferred but I told her the next week would be fine. So Wednesday, I was expecting to be able to give her a ticket, but she told me that sadly she had something else planned on that day and couldn't come. The painter lady also appologized that she could not come and this was because her painting exhibit was on the same day. I was disappointed by the first because I was so sure she would come, and understanding of the second as she of course must put her own exhibit first. But as we talked, the first lady said she would go to the second lady's exhibit. So... that means she really doesn't have any other plans for that day? I had a hard time acting cheerful for the duration of that class or that whole day for that matter. Reflecting back, it may be that she was just worried about COVID and didn't think a concert was appropriate at this time. Japanese people tend to lie like that to "protect" the other's feelings. I would have understood that reason more than what she game me.
That night I was starved for some more romance so I read a book called The Contract by Melanie Moreland. I wasn't expecting much, but was very pleasantly surprised. Basically a typical ass of a guy changing after he falls in love with a girl. The twist is that he asks this girl who was his secretary, to pretend to be his fiance so that he can get a job at a company that put family first. He and she were working at a cutthroat company, he was good at his job but a terrible boss and bad at relationships. We find out why later on. The girl on the other hand is the kindest person ever and has her sainted reasons for accepting his proposal. I was hit the most by her personality and his effort to become more like her and how everyone around her basically loved her for who she was and felt I needed to try harder too (especially after the rejection of the Wednesday ladies).
I really liked reading this novel which was mostly from the guy's point of view. It made me laugh, it made me cry, and was definitely at the top of it's class of similar plots. I've been reading a lot of crap just because it was free so it was refreshing to finally find something I liked. I read the short sequel The Baby Clause and started the next one: The Amendment, but wouldn't recommend those.
On Thursday, I watched a Netflix movie called Holidate. This was also happy-making and I definitely recommend it for light viewing and an awww ending. Lots of laughs and a cute romance. This was similar to the above book in that they were in a sort of pretend relationship and there is again an aha moment when they realize they are falling (or are already) in love with the other person but have to assume that the other person has no such feelings and is doing this just for the benefits of the "pretend relationship." Also in this case there are past traumas that have made them reluctant to trust in a new "real" relationship and these have to be addressed and overcome.
Thursday was my daughter's birthday so I also made some cake and we had a candle-blowing ceremony again later that night once Julian got home from his job. While I was getting ready for that, my mom called. It's not often my mom calls at a time I can pick up and I was really happy to hear from her. When I told her we were getting ready to celebrate, she told me she could call again later, but I got her to talk with all the kids instead. When I got back on the phone, she told me she had actually called to ask me something. She was getting her affairs in order and was wondering if I would be able to go back to Canada when she passed, to carry out her Will. I understood right away why she felt she needed to do this now. Even at my age I think about it, and in her case, two of her siblings have passed recently. But her asking me if I could be there after she died just made me remember how much I want to be with her now. Before she's gone. And it made me tear up and my mom felt bad that she had done that when we were just about to celebrate and worried she had ruined it. When I told her - that of course I would be there, but I wanted to be with her when she wasn't gone even more, she talked about her thoughts of wanting to come to Japan again to see us, which made me more hopeful. She wrote later saying that COVID made it difficult now to come over but she wanted to keep it as a possibility for the future.
Anyway, the kids heard me crying and maybe understood some of the conversation. After the phone call as I got the cake ready for the candles, Alex and Julian kind of rallied by me to see if I needed anything, and Alex came and hugged me gently from behind and I felt sooooo lucky to have such loving kids and hoped they would never leave to live in another country like I did.
Then hubby came in and told me that his friend and wife had an answer regarding the concert. I had invited them. He said it in a way that I was sure they had said they couldn't come and I was expecting those words next, but then it was the opposite. They can come! And I am so grateful.
I also got a message from an older teacher and friend living nearby who has always accepted me and our family almost like real relatives - like a daughter or sister you know? She and her husband have always been really kind. She told me that she and her husband would like to come to the concert and that made me really happy.
Friday was a tough day. I couldn't watch show. I felt that I'd be rushing and wanted more time. I started reading a new book. I actually bought this one on kindle because it looked good in the reviews and I wanted another happy story to read. It is called The Flat Share by Beth O'Leary. This was excellent! I loved it so much I stayed up until 3 a.m. to finish it. The writing style is really interesting and I learned a lot from it as a person interested in writing fiction. There is great humor, and a panicky part at around 80% through the book that made me frantically read through to the happy conclusion I knew was waiting. This was about a girl who escapes from a manipulative relationship by renting a flat of a medical nurse who worked nights. Their jobs make it so that they are using the flat at different times and are using the same bed and everything but don't even meet for a long time. They get to know each other through the post-it notes they leave for each other and end up falling in love and it is damn cute. This was half from the guy's point of view and half from the girl's. I love reading about love from the guy's POV lol. The trauma the girl goes through as she detoxes from her previous relationship is heartrending and the love this guy shows for her as she does is so heartwarming. There are several plot twists that make it very engaging and interesting. It is set in London and a lot of the words sounded British. It was refreshing and very fun to read. I actually said awwwww out loud as I read the final line of the book. And when I woke up today, I reread some of it. I think I might even read it over from the beginning. It was that good. I would definitely recommend it to anyone.
Today, I have choir practice in the afternoon, but it is a normal Sunday - my last normal Sunday before the craziness begins. I think I will be taking out the Christmas tree and decorating. Some pictures of the birthday and yesterday's dinner. Costco again. I was too tired and told hubby so he and Alex went to get the food <3
I really need to take a shower now and get ready to go. Hope you have a good weekend!