(no subject)
i've been thinking a lot lately.
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i'm thinking of going back to wkpc [my old church]. but then.. it feels weird. cuz if i go back now, after all the "troubles" have been "resolved" i feel that it would sort of be.... i dunno.. betraying? [it doesn't seem like the right word...] i want to go back.. and see everyone's faces. but then a part of me says don't go back, cuz... i dunno. it's not like, "dont' go back cuz i dont' want to" but it's more like.. "dont' go back.. cuz.. things won't be like before" truthfully, i'm sort of scared to face everyone. i have no idea what went on among the adults... but i know that things will be different when i go back.. so i'm scared.
i guess change impacts me greatly. i'm scared of change... it scares me that things will be different. maybe that's why i'm so immature.. cuz i want to stay a kid forever.. maybe that's why i love kids so much. its so ridiculous.. how i think like this. i should accept the changes and move on, but i have this habit of holding on to things and never letting go. that's why i can never throw out my old school work and stuff..
blah.. i should stop now before i make whoever reads this fall asleep. xD
this is what naruto does to my brain.. i'm at the part where everything is all serious and yeah.. lol