Why I need a new job.
I am going to kill a mother fucker. and not in the threatening kind of way but in an actual kind of way. like i will take the paper cutter and carefully slice off their hand and their big toe (i dont know why it just seemed appropriate) and watch them bleed to death. hell i might even collect their lifes blood as it drains out of their bodies and put it in a tub and revel in my own personal evilness.
customers are driving me crazy. lemme tell ya, this woman has on red socks, black stockings and tennis shoes. she also has on pink pink pink sunglasses that were designed for someone who was 12 not 50. she also has a scrunchie. a fucking scrunchie. she tells me shes writing a poem in a greeting card and then proceeds to ask me how to spell every other word. now i am not a great speller, im not even a good speller. in fact without spell check i frequently seem to be an exceptionally smart 5 year old based on the formation of my words. alas.
or this lady who cusses me out at the coliseum on thursday night because when she heard on the radio that circus tickets were $14 dollars she thought it meant that her entire family could come for 14 bucks. after informing her of her error she proceeds to throw her arms up (while smacking her daughter accidentally in the process, but she doesnt stop to apologize) and in her heavy slavic accent says "fuck this and fuck you this shitty coliseum fucking fucking shitty shitty damn ass" you get the idea. I just stare and tell her to have a nice day. customers hate it when they're mad and you tell them to have a nice day. its wonderful. because you're just being polite.
or dude last night. i was in willcall. bear in mind that the greensboro coliseum complex is one of the largest facilities on the eastern seaboard. we have not only an arena that seets 20,000 but also an auditorium for plays and concerts, a special events center for trade shows and whatever else you can stick in there, meeting rooms, and also the odeon, which is a much smaller facility for plays and such. with this said, i can completely understand how and why a person would get lost. and we do frequently have multiple events going on at the same time. oh but his man, whoooo did he steam me. he walks up to my willcall window. he was wearing a blue velour jacket. velour. is that spelled right? ah who cares. he throws his i.d. at me and says his name, as he arrogantly puts one elbow on the window and then angles his body away as if he was far too good to be there in the presence of me. i tell him bluntly there are no tickets for him. he then repeats his name and says "4 tickets". i repeat my statement to him that there are no tickets for him. he then says hes here for brian regan, he knows he has tickets, and i had damn well find them now.
thats when i started to laugh. in the mans face. i had lost it by this point. in the arena, is the circus. you cant miss it. there is circus vendors and circus everything leading up to the arena. its impossible to miss. its fucking neon everything saying "CIRCUS!!!!". after i informed him of his error he and his velour sulked off. arrogant ass.
i think im cracking up.
customers are driving me crazy. lemme tell ya, this woman has on red socks, black stockings and tennis shoes. she also has on pink pink pink sunglasses that were designed for someone who was 12 not 50. she also has a scrunchie. a fucking scrunchie. she tells me shes writing a poem in a greeting card and then proceeds to ask me how to spell every other word. now i am not a great speller, im not even a good speller. in fact without spell check i frequently seem to be an exceptionally smart 5 year old based on the formation of my words. alas.
or this lady who cusses me out at the coliseum on thursday night because when she heard on the radio that circus tickets were $14 dollars she thought it meant that her entire family could come for 14 bucks. after informing her of her error she proceeds to throw her arms up (while smacking her daughter accidentally in the process, but she doesnt stop to apologize) and in her heavy slavic accent says "fuck this and fuck you this shitty coliseum fucking fucking shitty shitty damn ass" you get the idea. I just stare and tell her to have a nice day. customers hate it when they're mad and you tell them to have a nice day. its wonderful. because you're just being polite.
or dude last night. i was in willcall. bear in mind that the greensboro coliseum complex is one of the largest facilities on the eastern seaboard. we have not only an arena that seets 20,000 but also an auditorium for plays and concerts, a special events center for trade shows and whatever else you can stick in there, meeting rooms, and also the odeon, which is a much smaller facility for plays and such. with this said, i can completely understand how and why a person would get lost. and we do frequently have multiple events going on at the same time. oh but his man, whoooo did he steam me. he walks up to my willcall window. he was wearing a blue velour jacket. velour. is that spelled right? ah who cares. he throws his i.d. at me and says his name, as he arrogantly puts one elbow on the window and then angles his body away as if he was far too good to be there in the presence of me. i tell him bluntly there are no tickets for him. he then repeats his name and says "4 tickets". i repeat my statement to him that there are no tickets for him. he then says hes here for brian regan, he knows he has tickets, and i had damn well find them now.
thats when i started to laugh. in the mans face. i had lost it by this point. in the arena, is the circus. you cant miss it. there is circus vendors and circus everything leading up to the arena. its impossible to miss. its fucking neon everything saying "CIRCUS!!!!". after i informed him of his error he and his velour sulked off. arrogant ass.
i think im cracking up.