[Memories] Board Games
Hey kids, it's another pointless Roger Nyström childhood memory!
We were unique, growing up, in the fact that we had a collection of games that NO ONE ELSE on the planet seemed to have heard of. We used to spend tons of time, for example, playing Milles Bornes, the "go 1,000 miles but wait this game is French and that means fucking up the other player's car" board game. I used to enjoy the hell out of the game, even as the cards slowly disappeared to the point where the game was no longer even playable.
Then I realized that NO ONE KNEW what this game was. I remember trying to get a replacement deck years ago, at places like Toys R Us, and I was just stared at like I was from another planet. Suddenly this couple in their 70's (at LEAST), having heard my multiple requests for this game, started to reminisce about the game. "You remember when we used to play that game, Herbert? Oohhh it was SO much fun!" It was a little bizarre, admittedly, to know that I was apparently the only person in my age group to have ever played this game!
When I was in grade school, my father used to get laid off from General Motors. Frequently. (This would, indeed, be a great time for me to segue into my loathing of the company and my amazement that it hadn't folded fifteen years ago, but I'll stay on topic!) He wanted to give us Christmas gifts but often couldn't afford them, and when I was in the fourth grade, he got an idea: why not give the kids some of my old toys?
This led to mixed results. There were some awesome things that he'd given us -- like his steel playsets and figurines, which occupied so many hours with my brother and I. It didn't matter that, for example, the plastic-molded queen figurine had been mauled decades prior by my dad's dog Queenie, for it just added to our little fantasy storyline involving an evil queen who was disfigured as a child and whose horrific looks could kill men dead. :: laugh ::
But then some of what was given to us? Not so great. For example, there was Park and Shop.
Worst. Board game. Ever. From the Board Game Geek's write-up on the game:
Game originally produced by the Traffic Game Inc. Company of Allentown PA. The object is to drive your car from your home to the nearest Park & Shop parking lot then move your pedestrian marker to all of the stops on your shopping list, returning to your car, then moving your car back to the starting point before any other player.
In reality, the game was really much duller than this. ":: move :: I'm at the pharmacy. :: move move :: I'm at the bakery. :: move move move :: I'm at the gun shop in order to end my miserable Park and Shop experience." Even our childhood imaginations weren't enough to save this game -- I mean, my brother had introduced new rules like "Vehicular Homicide" and it STILL wasn't very entertaining.
You know what WAS fun, though? Camouflage, which is apparently for sale on eBay. The whole concept: you would answer questions and then, with a wax crayon, try to find items on a screen that are hidden by wavy crazy 60's style lines. Whoever finds the most items, wins. It was, apparently, based on some game show I'd never heard of, but man, if I had money? I'd totally buy this again (not having any idea what happened to our old set), it was just that fun. How this never got a rerelease or anything is beyond me.
It was games like Camouflage that had spoiled me for some of the crap we had in the 80's. As a child I LOVED the show Finders Keepers. We would try to recreate this show at home, as one of us would hide an item and the other would try to find it, tearing apart the living room or the kitchen until our mother would come in screaming, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO MY HOUSE?!?!?!" :: laugh ::
So, in order to stop the destruction my parents got me the home version of the TV show, which was suspiciously low-priced. I was so excited to play, tore the box open ... and found six cardboard boxes, and little cardboard squares containing bad drawings of household items. I was so confused as to what this had to do with anything, and read the manual, seething as I find out that you put the cardboard squares inside one of the cardboard "rooms", and you add other "furniture" -- it suggested doll furniture, cotton, and popsicle sticks -- and then try to find the "hidden items". Basically you just knocked shit over and tried to find cardboard squares, and it infuriated me. I wasted all my time on this???? I had my hopes on THIS???
I played it three or four times, and it sat in my closet, along with Park and Shop, as I played more Camouflage. :: sigh :: Memories ...
We were unique, growing up, in the fact that we had a collection of games that NO ONE ELSE on the planet seemed to have heard of. We used to spend tons of time, for example, playing Milles Bornes, the "go 1,000 miles but wait this game is French and that means fucking up the other player's car" board game. I used to enjoy the hell out of the game, even as the cards slowly disappeared to the point where the game was no longer even playable.
Then I realized that NO ONE KNEW what this game was. I remember trying to get a replacement deck years ago, at places like Toys R Us, and I was just stared at like I was from another planet. Suddenly this couple in their 70's (at LEAST), having heard my multiple requests for this game, started to reminisce about the game. "You remember when we used to play that game, Herbert? Oohhh it was SO much fun!" It was a little bizarre, admittedly, to know that I was apparently the only person in my age group to have ever played this game!
When I was in grade school, my father used to get laid off from General Motors. Frequently. (This would, indeed, be a great time for me to segue into my loathing of the company and my amazement that it hadn't folded fifteen years ago, but I'll stay on topic!) He wanted to give us Christmas gifts but often couldn't afford them, and when I was in the fourth grade, he got an idea: why not give the kids some of my old toys?
This led to mixed results. There were some awesome things that he'd given us -- like his steel playsets and figurines, which occupied so many hours with my brother and I. It didn't matter that, for example, the plastic-molded queen figurine had been mauled decades prior by my dad's dog Queenie, for it just added to our little fantasy storyline involving an evil queen who was disfigured as a child and whose horrific looks could kill men dead. :: laugh ::
But then some of what was given to us? Not so great. For example, there was Park and Shop.
Worst. Board game. Ever. From the Board Game Geek's write-up on the game:
Game originally produced by the Traffic Game Inc. Company of Allentown PA. The object is to drive your car from your home to the nearest Park & Shop parking lot then move your pedestrian marker to all of the stops on your shopping list, returning to your car, then moving your car back to the starting point before any other player.
In reality, the game was really much duller than this. ":: move :: I'm at the pharmacy. :: move move :: I'm at the bakery. :: move move move :: I'm at the gun shop in order to end my miserable Park and Shop experience." Even our childhood imaginations weren't enough to save this game -- I mean, my brother had introduced new rules like "Vehicular Homicide" and it STILL wasn't very entertaining.
You know what WAS fun, though? Camouflage, which is apparently for sale on eBay. The whole concept: you would answer questions and then, with a wax crayon, try to find items on a screen that are hidden by wavy crazy 60's style lines. Whoever finds the most items, wins. It was, apparently, based on some game show I'd never heard of, but man, if I had money? I'd totally buy this again (not having any idea what happened to our old set), it was just that fun. How this never got a rerelease or anything is beyond me.
It was games like Camouflage that had spoiled me for some of the crap we had in the 80's. As a child I LOVED the show Finders Keepers. We would try to recreate this show at home, as one of us would hide an item and the other would try to find it, tearing apart the living room or the kitchen until our mother would come in screaming, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO MY HOUSE?!?!?!" :: laugh ::
So, in order to stop the destruction my parents got me the home version of the TV show, which was suspiciously low-priced. I was so excited to play, tore the box open ... and found six cardboard boxes, and little cardboard squares containing bad drawings of household items. I was so confused as to what this had to do with anything, and read the manual, seething as I find out that you put the cardboard squares inside one of the cardboard "rooms", and you add other "furniture" -- it suggested doll furniture, cotton, and popsicle sticks -- and then try to find the "hidden items". Basically you just knocked shit over and tried to find cardboard squares, and it infuriated me. I wasted all my time on this???? I had my hopes on THIS???
I played it three or four times, and it sat in my closet, along with Park and Shop, as I played more Camouflage. :: sigh :: Memories ...