Interesting ride, you let us think that there is a chance he'll choose the redemptive path but he only ever wavers slightly and he's always severe with himself over the slip. Too bad he doesn't realize he's guaranteeing his eventual fall. I even suspect Ariel's outcry wasn't because she was in trouble but because she realized she'd lost him to the darkness. It's a strange perspective to be caught in. Not entirely comfortable that's for sure.
As has become altogether common when you offer an opinion on one of my stories, your take on it reflects almost exactly what I was trying to put across. There was indeed a choice to be made, and our man Parker genuinely was at a balance point where it could go either way. Ariel (and did you recognize the character? I offered a few small clues) did everything she could to stack the deck, and it appeared that it was almost enough to tilt the balance …
… but it was his choice to make, and he chose what he did. And your impression matches mine: I believe she felt the moment arrive, cried out for him - the last push that might have worked - and felt him waver at the edge and then fall back in.
If this is so, then she was witness to a tragedy … and the most tragic part is that he was (and remained) completely unaware of his own fall.
Comments 3
Reply
… but it was his choice to make, and he chose what he did. And your impression matches mine: I believe she felt the moment arrive, cried out for him - the last push that might have worked - and felt him waver at the edge and then fall back in.
If this is so, then she was witness to a tragedy … and the most tragic part is that he was (and remained) completely unaware of his own fall.
Reply
I realize I didn't mention how much I enjoyed this story even as it made me uncomfortable. As always, a well crafted story.
Reply
Leave a comment