we are young, united we stand, love is a battlefield...
I am officially going through the worst thing imaginable. I won't say it on here but there is a lucky few who know, and i hope no has told anyone... but yea. You all complain about parents and being lonely, or money. I wish I was lonely. I wish I had no one here, I wish I could end everything so I wouldn't have to care. I don't want to care. I feel so much pain, I have so many worries, and I can't help but feel for the soul inside me. life has become so complexed, I mean I am just a girl and here I am growing up. I can't hide the feelings I have anymore but I most definitely want them to go away. What do I want with my life? I don't even understand what I want. I want love..... but I'm fricken 17 and I have my whole life to grow up. Why is it that society can pull us to do things we aren't ready for but convince us that we are. I mean a boy isn't going to make my problems go away. It made my problems! life is so much more complicated now that I am here.
My parents don't trust me anymore but yet they're still behind me trying to forget this happened....? I mean what the fuck is that? shouldn't they be trying to help? I tell them I am depressed and I can't deal with it. My friends here are dumbfucks... well not alyssa, she's actually became really close with me in the last few weeks. WOot? I dunno I just don't want to deal with people anymore but when I sit here at home, all I want to do is just be with them. Once again my parents think I am avoiding them and they think I am on a constant party. BUT its not like that, maybe last summer with cheryl(haha that was a great summer). I am so scared to grow up, but at the same time I have to. I thrown these stupid choiced and then I have to ddeal with them. I want a fricken time machine! I want to erase the pain, go back and live where I want to be, be with my true friends and finsih highschool where I want to be.
Oh well I am done contemplating shit, me and alyssa have been hanging out pretty much everyday. Watching movies, sleep overs, and going out. Being stupid is what I do best and I enjoy doing it. BUT today I was actually told I was stupid by a 20 year old. I was like okay, heres the facts... I am just having fun and you can pretty much fuck off. I am sorry you can't comprehend that but maybe you are dumb. THEN I asked him... what are you doing with your life that makes you so smart. and he's all I'm going to college... I'm like really any perticular major? he's like I am undecided but I think I want to be a electrician. I was like okay buddy have fun with that one. I can't wait till you wake up in your 40's wishing you were doing better in life. ME on the other hand... I am going to school to get my practical nurse's degree, try and get recruited to the united states(whish is a most defintely) and then ahve the hospital paying for most of my schooling, which they do that out there. I want to be a pediatric doctor. I will be making twice if not triple the amount he's making and he calls me stupid. If anyone's smart, they will aim high in they're studies and be who they want to be. BUT HUNNY NO ONE WANTS TO BE AN ELECTRICIAN! He signed off right then and there. I was glad to make someone feel stupid for calling me stupid.... NOw I wish that happened. Instead what really happened was that I just took it and walked away. SO NOT LIKE ME! but oh well I can't always be a fighter. 2 be continued....
My parents don't trust me anymore but yet they're still behind me trying to forget this happened....? I mean what the fuck is that? shouldn't they be trying to help? I tell them I am depressed and I can't deal with it. My friends here are dumbfucks... well not alyssa, she's actually became really close with me in the last few weeks. WOot? I dunno I just don't want to deal with people anymore but when I sit here at home, all I want to do is just be with them. Once again my parents think I am avoiding them and they think I am on a constant party. BUT its not like that, maybe last summer with cheryl(haha that was a great summer). I am so scared to grow up, but at the same time I have to. I thrown these stupid choiced and then I have to ddeal with them. I want a fricken time machine! I want to erase the pain, go back and live where I want to be, be with my true friends and finsih highschool where I want to be.
Oh well I am done contemplating shit, me and alyssa have been hanging out pretty much everyday. Watching movies, sleep overs, and going out. Being stupid is what I do best and I enjoy doing it. BUT today I was actually told I was stupid by a 20 year old. I was like okay, heres the facts... I am just having fun and you can pretty much fuck off. I am sorry you can't comprehend that but maybe you are dumb. THEN I asked him... what are you doing with your life that makes you so smart. and he's all I'm going to college... I'm like really any perticular major? he's like I am undecided but I think I want to be a electrician. I was like okay buddy have fun with that one. I can't wait till you wake up in your 40's wishing you were doing better in life. ME on the other hand... I am going to school to get my practical nurse's degree, try and get recruited to the united states(whish is a most defintely) and then ahve the hospital paying for most of my schooling, which they do that out there. I want to be a pediatric doctor. I will be making twice if not triple the amount he's making and he calls me stupid. If anyone's smart, they will aim high in they're studies and be who they want to be. BUT HUNNY NO ONE WANTS TO BE AN ELECTRICIAN! He signed off right then and there. I was glad to make someone feel stupid for calling me stupid.... NOw I wish that happened. Instead what really happened was that I just took it and walked away. SO NOT LIKE ME! but oh well I can't always be a fighter. 2 be continued....