(no subject)
you dont know how great you have it until you lose everything. we all complain so much that the things we have are pieces of shit... they dont work properly... they arnt good enough or fast enough or powerful enough. but none of that matters in the end. once you lose it all in a matter of minutes, once you watch it all waste away... none of that matters. once you see it being destroyed just a few feet infront of your face you start to realize that you had a really good life and that you were extremely privileged to have that computer that ran just a little bit slow or that fan that squeeked or that door that was hell to open.
the memories arnt good enough for me. the few things that we salvaged just arnt good enough. i want to climb over the mountain of clothes on my bedroom floor, lay in my bed, snuggle with my purdie dog, listen to my little stereo and stare at the posters and pictures of friends that i hung on my walls. i want to look through the journal that i wrote last year and smile about all the good times. i dont want to just remember... i want the proof. i dont want to rebuild my life. why does all the bad shit happen to me and my family? why cant we just live like everyone else. why do we have to keep jumping these impossibly high hurdles while everyone else gets to go on normally. what did we ever do wrong? why is "god" punishing my family? i think we have had it hard enough.
my house burned down thursday august 14 2008.
the memories arnt good enough for me. the few things that we salvaged just arnt good enough. i want to climb over the mountain of clothes on my bedroom floor, lay in my bed, snuggle with my purdie dog, listen to my little stereo and stare at the posters and pictures of friends that i hung on my walls. i want to look through the journal that i wrote last year and smile about all the good times. i dont want to just remember... i want the proof. i dont want to rebuild my life. why does all the bad shit happen to me and my family? why cant we just live like everyone else. why do we have to keep jumping these impossibly high hurdles while everyone else gets to go on normally. what did we ever do wrong? why is "god" punishing my family? i think we have had it hard enough.
my house burned down thursday august 14 2008.